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The Duggars Make Me Sick

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The Duggars have 18 kids, which is crazy in and of itself. But teaching your kids to abstain from all sexual relations before marriage... these people are nuts!

Annoyed woman watching tv

Guest blogger Samantha: Every time I see something about the Duggars on TV, I get really annoyed. I'm annoyed that they have so many kids, I'm annoyed that all their names start with "J" and I'm annoyed that everything, EVERYTHING, they do and say in life is about their belief in God. Look, I'm all for faith. I'm all for religion. But I lose my patience when it comes to fanatics whose convictions are SO over the top that their very own children (in my opinion) end up brainwashed and robotic.

Meet Joshua Duggar and his new bride Anna.

Last night, as I watched "A Very Duggar Wedding," a reality special on TLC documenting their "union," I wanted to barf. You see, Joshua, 21, and his bride-to-be Anna, have never kissed (yes, that's KISSED!). Both are evangelical Christians and decided that they wanted to enter marriage "pure." Up until their wedding day, the most action that these two CHILDREN had ever gotten was hand-holding (ooh, naughty, naughty!) And now, their very first kiss is supposed to be in front of 300 guests?! Are you kidding me?

Before I even start in on how ridiculous I think this "purity" nonsense is, let me take a moment to talk about their wedding itself: 1) Too much tulle. 2) Someone needs to let the people of Florida know that the crimped long-hair look was out in the '80s 3) It was a dry wedding. (Um, isn't that mean to make them have sex for the first time without any alcohol???) I nearly died when they said "I do," and went for their first kiss as husband and wife. "Don't turn around!," my husband joked as we laughed about what a massive boner Joshua probably had. Then, as the camera zoomed in on Anna wiping her lips and smiling nervously as her virgin tongue went back into her mouth, I literally got queasy. How ridiculous, I thought. How ridiculous to think that not only will these kids never know what it's like to have had sex with anyone else other than each other, but that they will never know what really feels good and really feels right.

If you don't kiss a lot of frogs, how can you know if you even like kissing your prince?! The beauty of experiencing intimacy before marriage is that you CAN determine what you like and don't like -- so that you're not stuck with someone who you come to discover you have ZERO sexual attraction or connection to! As I watched the Duggars walk into their sad little hotel room (hi, TLC, ya coulda sprung for the "honeymoon suite," no?), I couldn't help but wonder if poor Anna, who will not be enjoying sex for quite some time (uh, remember when you lost your virginity), will one day wake up and wish that she had been felt up by someone other than her husband. Second base, people! We're talking about second base! Her boobies have NEVER even been touched by someone else. PATHETIC.

On Joshua and Anna's website, Anna says: "Like Joshua, I was raised in a Christian home, and my parents encouraged me to save my whole heart and purity for the one that God had for me. As a young girl, my parents told me that it was normal to have desires and thoughts, but that it was my responsibility to commit my future to the Lord and trust God to lead me in His timing." Trust God to lead you? Does God know what turns you on? Grow up! You're not proving anything to anyone and I don't believe for one instance that God is going to reward you any differently then the rest of us. You can still be pure, good, and committed to your husband even if you've had multiple partners.

In my opinion, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are to blame for this craziness. If I had to share well-deserved attention with 17 other siblings, I might pull a lame stunt like this at my wedding, too. Fortunately for me (and my two sisters), my kiss was short and sweet and my wedding night wasn't as painful as Anna's probably was (unless you count the terrible blister I got from my heels). So, to Joshua and Anna: I truly do hope you had fun on your wedding night and in 50 years are still as hot for each other as you were that night at bible camp. And if there's one thing you don't do like your parents, let's hope it's the baby-making part. For God's sake, Duggars, heed your own advice and ABSTAIN.

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244 comments so far | Post a comment now
kathleen January 27, 2009, 2:27 PM

why does it bother some of you about how they choose to live their lives. If you don’t like it or it drives you crazy simply change the channel.

Jessica January 27, 2009, 2:29 PM

To each their own! I like watching the Duggars. I love that they have 18 kids. It is their choice not mine or anyone elses. They seem like a good family and all the kids clothed, feed, and look clean. It does matter how many kids you decide to have (or let God decide you should have) as long as they are well taken care of. That is all that matters!

Meagan January 27, 2009, 2:32 PM

I don’t understand why you are bothered so much. Yes, the Duggar’s beliefs are more extreme than most-but I have always admired their strong beliefs. Honestly, I think they seem alot happier than most of us.

jeno January 27, 2009, 2:50 PM

Have you ever had to try to comfort a teenager who has contracted a sexually transmitted disease that is uncurable?! I guess not. I can’t believe they even published this piece of trash. Shame on you for trying to tear down this nice family. If you don’t like that they are teaching their kids to be moral and Godly, THEN DON’T WATCH!!! I shudder to think that you are a parent responsible for teaching a child any kind of values. I’m never visiting this site again, you guys are all that is wrong with the world. No class……

andrea q January 27, 2009, 3:16 PM

Why would anyone want to condem the pure at heart? Exactly how are the Dugger’s hurting you? They all work together to live the life that God has intended for them. They “work”, not depend on others for support. They are black and white about God,not wishey washy. How beautiful it would be to be pure at your marriage. Homeschooling is a wonderful education, for those of us that are able to achieve it. Society today with its beliefs and actions is guilty of leading many into destruction.
Always remember, we all have a choice. Many taunted Jesus too. Still, who’s word prevails now? and will forever?

Julie January 27, 2009, 3:21 PM

Your opinion was small minded and weak as well as ugly. I pray that you will not judge any further other people’s choices. It is not your place and if it was so bad and stressful to watch, why didn’t you change the channel. There are more people than you know that are sickened and stressed out by your views stated above. The things that you are encouraging affect more than just the people that choose them. They cost taxpayers money, so said Nancy Pelosi recently that she wants the Stimulus Package to help take care of the above ideas. So, try to educate yourself better and actually come up higher in regard to your opinions and get that bolder out of your own eye before you try to take the splinter out of another’s. While 18 kids is a lot…that is their choice and unlike many thousands if not MILLIONS of people with your mentality above…the DUGGERS ARE DEBT FREE and have paid for their own choices. Our choices affect more than just ourselves, each of our choices affects many others in many ways. It would do you know harm to ponder what you said and what others as well have added.

Darlene January 27, 2009, 3:43 PM

QUOTING!!! “If you don’t kiss a lot of frogs, how can you know if you even like kissing your prince?! The beauty of experiencing intimacy before marriage is that you CAN determine what you like and don’t like — so that you’re not stuck with someone who you come to discover you have ZERO sexual attraction or connection to! As I watched the Duggars walk into their sad little hotel room (hi, TLC, ya coulda sprung for the “honeymoon suite,” no?), I couldn’t help but wonder if poor Anna, who will not be enjoying sex for quite some time (uh, remember when you lost your virginity), will one day wake up and wish that she had been felt up by someone other than her husband. Second base, people! We’re talking about second base! Her boobies have NEVER even been touched by someone else. PATHETIC.” You are soo misguided about many things it’s unfortunate that you think you need to be felt up or have sex with several partners to know what you like, the obvious issues are STD’s and unwanted pregnancy (epidemic in this country) Ok there are other forms of intimacy than of a sexual nature between two people and I commend the Duggers for having the patience and wisdom to teach their children morals this “poor girl” as you put it will experience her first sexual experience with the man she loves and in it’s purist form there will be nothing going through her mind about previous men that have touched her wrong, kissed her badly or thoughts of her comparing Joshua with a previous partner, Yes thats horrible!! (sarcastic) This is AWESOME and many people should follow their example these two people can grow and learn how to make each other happy, and as far as that horrible first sexual experience as a virgin, I’d be willing to bet that they will share something amazing and tender and that I am certain they have had urges for each other because if you have ever loved someone then you do develop sexual feelings for them and maybe you have been hurt by a christian I am thinking you havent had a very loving life and that no one has showed you the love of God, I am a Christian and I have had previous partners and pregnancies and I wonder if I had waited how much better my marriage would be?? Why would these two people want to add things like premarital sex and it’s a fact Marriage is hard enough as is without adding the baggage of sleeping with other men. Whats wrong with her teaching him what pleases her and visa versa. Instead of being bitter over their happiness maybe you should be searching the word of God and seeing where you can experience the Love of God and the reason that Jesus died on the cross. The Duggers already understand this and God has blessed them accordingly, I dont know about you but I WANT TO BE BLESSED LIKE THEM, (not with 18 kids) but they have no debt and have money to do many things that many people cant do. I love the Dugger family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa January 27, 2009, 3:48 PM

While I may think it may have been a bit extreme to wait for the first kiss I do have to say that I admire the Duggars and their convictions. What is wrong in letting God lead? I know that when I have allowed God to take the lead in my life that things have gone far more smoothly than when I tried to take the riens. Yes, God does know what turns each person on, God knows what each person needs and desires—He created us! I am more offended by your temper tantrum, if it bothers you so much why do you watch it? Just so you have something to complain about? I feel sorry for you that your life is so shallow. I wish I had been a virgin on my wedding night and maybe if you had been then losing your virginity may have not been so bad and it wouldn’t have taken “quite some time” before you experienced “good sex”.

Tami January 27, 2009, 4:00 PM

Come on. Eighteen kids. They are exploiting their children to make money. These poor kids raising their siblings. What’s going to happen when one them messes up? Are they going to be excommunicated from the family?

Tami January 27, 2009, 4:03 PM

BTW, saving yourself for your wedding night is a beautiful thing. My problem has nothing to do with their morals. I believe in God and encourage my children to save themselves for their wedding night. My problem is with the parents using the children.

lilshippy January 27, 2009, 4:25 PM

I don’t think it’s ridiculous that they chose to not kiss. By them abstaining from kissing they prevented themselves from getting into trouble by letting that desire to take over to make them want to go further. Being a believer some can be extreme but you know yourself and if you need limits like that to prevent yourself from falling than that is what you do. We all need to take a page from the Dugguars. The bible speaks against fornication that means having sex before marriage. If you are a believer and say you are you don’t just follow the parts of the bible that you agree with or that you want to follow. You don’t need to sleep around and kiss a lot of people to find the right person. God knows all ask him who is the right person for you and choose the person for you. His will is perfect!! If that lady wants to have 20 babies that’s up to her and her husband at least I don’t have to carry them and live there. That’s alot. But she wanted that so that was put in her to be able to handle all that. Do you Duggars! Do you!

Els January 27, 2009, 4:36 PM

Wow! If this family bothers you that much then I suggest you not watch them. I can’t see where then having old fashion values is a problem to her. As far as the first kiss, it was of their own choice. Not their parents. Although I can’t see myself with 18 children they seem to have everything in control and they seem happy. In this day and age “Happy” is a plus.

Mary Newland January 27, 2009, 4:42 PM

Coming of age in the sixties, I have always considered myself a free thinker. I have come to the conclusion that romantic love has become an outdated notion. I honestly, thought the idea of keeping intimacy for marriage was hopeful and refreshing. I fear that we have become a society of disconnected people. Marriage improves sexual relations not hinders it.

Kara January 27, 2009, 5:25 PM

I totally disagree with your ways of thinking. All I know is I want my daughters to grow up and be pure. Saving yourself for marriage is the way that people are supposed to do things. I do agree with kissing there is absolutely nothing wrong with that because I did wath the duggers wedding episode and it was awkward to see them kiss for the first time but they looked very happy doing it. So to each their own but i do have to say to you why would you watch the show if you think everything about their life is revulting. Makes me wonder if you actually think your kids should be raised that way but you dont want to be a hipacrit and make them live a way you and your husband didn’t.

Granty Judy January 27, 2009, 5:40 PM

God Bless You! How do these kids even know if they are straight are gay? Whether they like to slow dance or hold hands in public? They have been “held” as forced child care workers for years. They have never been exposed to children and other families whose opinions and lifestyles differ seriously from their parents. I wonder if their parents have violated their children’s freedom in some way our society has yet to spell out. It feels to me that their upbringing has been one of neglect, even if it was loving neglect. I believe children have a right to know that they have options.

Debbie January 27, 2009, 6:53 PM

I agree with Another Amy, IF you don’t like it, don’t watch it. If you feel that their lifestyle isn’t to your liking, OH WELL!! That doesn’t make them right or you right or you wrong or them wrong. According to komoj, he/she said the duggar’s life is their business….wrong when you have your family on TV for millions to see, then it makes it everyone’s business. “They seem to have a very loving relationship with each other and their children.” Not everything is always what it appears, and we do NOT live behind their doors…who knows what actually goes on behind their closed doors. “Jim Bob supports the family and doesn’t have to depend on anyone else to do it”, which is partially not true, when you are on a reality show, TLC is paying the Duggars, they are paid to do all the shows. I chose not to watch the Duggars after the first show. MY RIGHT, MY CHOICE. I don’t choose to degrade anybody else for it is NOT my job to judge or trash talk other humans. I believe we have a right to teach our children to have morals and to teach them sexual responsibility. Abstinence is NOT a sin. Promoting sex before marriage is opening up to issues like STD’s and unexpected pregnancy. I do believe having 18 children is going way overboard!! I feel you cannot give 18 children quality time!! My opinion. If you don’t like what others are doing, don’t trash talk them publicly, live and let live.

Anonymous January 27, 2009, 7:46 PM

wow… as astounding as it is that the Duggars do choose to live life this way and instill values in their children, what’s even more astounding that you seem to be preaching the exact opposite! Have you ever thought that maybe your opinions might make them sick? I mean yeah, they do take their values to an ‘extreme’ but what is so bad about not whoring yourself around before you get married?? The Duggars obviously know a thing or two about sex, don’t you think? ;)

Michelle January 27, 2009, 7:57 PM

Although I don’t agree with some of the personal choices they are making in their lives, I defend the Duggars right to make their own choices. Um, isn’t that what a Democracy is? I DO NOT agree with you that we need to have multiple partners before marriage to see if we like it with this one or that one. I’ve only slept with one man, ever, and that’s my husband. We’ve been married 37 years, and the sex got better with age. You need to calm down, have a glass of wine, and sleep with your husband. RELAX, girl!!

Peggy January 27, 2009, 8:27 PM

I can’t even stand to watch this show! Does anyone see the irony in having 18 kids (obviously don’t believe in ANY kind of birth prevention!) and the fact that they are making millions pimping their family out on television?????

Annette January 27, 2009, 8:56 PM

Samantha I totally agree with you. Such religious zelots are the baine of our existance. Not only are the Duggers not using birth control, but the mother is a perpetual baby machine. The father obviously does not care about the trauma this woman is experiencing due to having babies every few months. He could not love her sincerely since she will probably die an early death due to the physical demands he has made on her body for the past 18 children. Let’s be realistic, some people believe in no sex before marriage. I congratulate them on their decision. Others want a dry run. I support this also. But it is unrealistic to provide these children with such a strict upbringing and expect them not to go Wild once they are away from home. No handholding! What poppycock! No kissing! Give me a break! I noticed quite a few Psychologists in this group spouting diatribes of Sams personal ailments. That was a little personal don’t ya think? Sam just expressed her opinion about this reality tv show and was met with this very public personal attack. Take a little time to step back, breathe and remember that in America we do have different opinions and the freedom to express them! Sam is just giving her point of view. This show is very irritating and lowers my personal IQ each time I watch. (Obviously, I continue to watch.)But you should also think of this…everyone has great comments and I it is a great read. Also, the networks are also reading your comments and taking notes after laughing themselves to death. For every aggrevating show there are thousand of people who watch. If I don’t like a show I do change the channel but not before I send an email to the network, website, fan clubs etc., just to get my say. So shake hands, make up but also continue to speak up as I may not always like your opinions but I do support your right to give them your voice.

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