momlogic's Jenny: I've been married almost six years, together with my husband over nine. I should have known better. I should have known that asking my husband (who is generally so fantastic and generous with compliments) whether I look like I've gained weight, was a bad idea. Why would I set him up to fail? When he paused, and smiled and said, "Uhhh, I'm not going to answer this," I knew I was doomed. If he had replied, "Nooooooooo, honey, you look great," I would have known he was full of sh*t. If he had replied, "As a matter of fact, yes, your muffin top is out of control," I would have been crushed.
No matter what, it's a no-win situation for anyone and in the end, both parties are kind of pissed. So what the hell was I thinking? I know I'm a few pounds off from my pre-pregnancy weight and a personal trainer, chef, and possible surgery off from my coveted wedding weight, so why would I make my husband the bearer of bad news?
Well, we've all done it. And we never seem to learn our lesson. Here's what some of our staffers had to say about this relationship no-no:
"If I think I look really pretty and he doesn't say anything, I'll ask 'Don't I look pretty?" I always feel like an idiot asking for a compliment but it's like: Come on, how hard is it to give a compliment, damn it?!"
"This is one department where, I'm happy to say, my husband does very well. Even when I'm having a fat day -- my husband manages to authentically compliment my hair, some accessory or makeup that always manages to makes me feel better. It's my kids who can be startling humbling: 'Mom, those pants make your butt look square,' for example."
"I think being my hubby's second wife works in my favor. If I ask something like that, he says things like: "I love the way that black skirt (blue top, whatever the item is) looks on you." Sometimes even that bugs, but I appreciate his attempt at disregarding the question without disregarding me. That being said ... one time, the words 'Don't be my mother' slipped out. Ouch."
"My husband is very careful not to say anything about my weight because he is very conscious of his own so we tip-toe around the issue. But if he says he's 'not a fan' of a certain outfit, I know he doesn't think it's flattering! It's like our code."
"One time, I asked my husband if I looked fat and he said 'yep.' Not the response I was hoping for, especially because I had just lost 15 pounds."
"I'll ask to these jeans look okay and he'll say they just look too saggy in the butt, but he'd never criticized me. He grew up with sisters. I think that makes a difference. "
"I know he's said things that have made me very mad. But, I can't think of anything. Of course, I've probably blocked it out."
What's the worst or dumbest thing your husband has ever said? Tell us in our momlogic community!