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Would You Let Your Man Go In the Out Door?

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NOTE: Moms -- this is graphic content.

couple embracing

Guest blogger Karrine Steffans: How do I put this gently? Ummm, well, I guess there are no easy ways to discuss the "pain in the butt" subject of anal sex, therefore, please accept my apology, in advance, for putting you through this.

Many men and women enjoy the practice of what is technically called sodomy. There are thirty countries and eight states in the US in which opposite-sex sodomy is illegal. So, if you and your husband live in one of those eight states, you can always use the law as an excuse to not participate if anal sex comes up in conversation. That is, if you are not as adventurous as he, in that regard.

Now, I am usually an advocate for the adage "don't knock it 'til you try it," but in this case, I have to withdraw my advocation. Anal sex is not the sort of thing you just try, it is an event, a massive undertaking and a sex life-changing moment.

Anal sex, ladies, is not for the faint and certainly not for the woman who runs from pain. However, for those who have braved the initial shock of having something go in their out door, it becomes an exciting addition to their sexual adventures in marriage -- and I say "in marriage" because this is not the sort of thing you want to try with some guy who's just going to leave you in three months. No, this is strictly husband-and-wife, 'til death do we part stuff!

The orgasms alone may repay brave women for their dedication and, as with all fetishes and sexual practices, couples that participate find themselves further tied by their adventurous trusting of one another.

Breathe, relax and lubricate, brave ladies.

All this and more can be found in The Vixen Manual: How to Find, Seduce and Keep the Man You Want, July 2009. Visit me at for more.

Fess up: Have YOU tried anal sex?

next: Day Care Worker Throws Toddler to Ground, Kills Him
72 comments so far | Post a comment now
Peg January 23, 2009, 1:33 AM

We have tried this a few times. It can be very erotic and enjoyable with the right partner. I absolutely PREFER being with my spouse- I wish the comfort and unity, security and safety of being with my spouse- married. I have been with my partner over 5 years- we are both widow(er)s. I wish to hold off on more anal sex until we are actually married. On that part I agree with the writer. He keeps making excuses, and it’s upsetting.

MI$$Kri$$ January 23, 2009, 4:44 AM

its gr8!!!

Marya January 23, 2009, 5:14 PM

Happily married!!! And yes we love this sexual act. The orgasm is AMAZING!!

tina January 23, 2009, 7:13 PM - Get one! They even have pink!!!

gg January 23, 2009, 7:55 PM

Here you go again,first you talk about respect and what you have learned from you own bad experinces,now you are promoting anal sex. Correction,anal sex for married couples only.Out of all the times you been screwd in the butt,how many of the men were you married too.I know this is how you are making money.All your books talk about sex,trash,and etc.Do you think that you can take all your bad experiences and turn them into something positve.I feel sorry for your child when he or she grows up and reads all the trash you have written.It’s a shame that you cant find something more positive to write about or talk about.Is it because you are INSECURE ABOUT YOURSELF.Remember your last blog.I will keep you in my prayers.

Hazel January 24, 2009, 9:27 AM

Karrine, since you want to discuss anal sex, why did you make a video diary dogging Darius McCrary out on his anal beads? Hypocrite much?

sthstlingus January 24, 2009, 10:13 PM

@Hazel You are so right! Maybe those were really her beads? also has a blog about her.

Leisah January 25, 2009, 3:16 AM

Next to Tyra Banks, this is the most insecure woman I’ve seen (and yes, I feel Tyra is insecure). And I agree with one of the other people who posted that if there is anyone buying a book from Karrine about KEEPING a man; they should be slappped! That’s like buying a book from an Eskimo about living in warm, tropical climates. LMAO!!

big smile January 25, 2009, 8:31 PM

Hmmm my wife e-mailed this link to me. Is this a backdoor invitation?

LolaSmile January 26, 2009, 10:48 AM

You have to wonder about the people who would ACTUALLY TAKE TIME OUT OF THEIR DAY TO WRITE A NEGATIVE PARAGRAPH about the blogger. How pathetic. Get a life.

ON SUBJECT, I tried “the back door” once. Failed miserably lol. It didn’t happen. However, I’m intrigued by some of the other responder’s claims of incredible orgasms. I’ll try again when I find that VERY SPECIAL someone ;-)

Anonymous January 26, 2009, 5:27 PM

LolaSmile is on point about the negative blog responses… it comes across to me as jealous, catty and very “high school” type of behavior. Keep it grown and sexy… comment on the topic and PLEASE spare us all your negativity.

As for backdoor lovin’, I have tried it with my husband and it’s okay. Not a part of the regular reportoire, but not completely ruling it out either.

Anonymous January 27, 2009, 12:09 PM

Try it. Hated it. Hurt like hell. Then someone told me you have to do it a few times. So I did two more times. Still hate it. Not for me. Many women actually have orgasms that way. If the person your with can respect you enough to understand don’t put up with his mess. Do what makes you happy.

Niqui January 28, 2009, 12:23 PM

I went wrong when I let my man, excuse me, X-Man, talk me into going in the out door. In the heat of the moment, you’ll try anything. But it was the worst experience of my life. I do plan on trying again, but not until 5 years into marriage.
P.S Love you Karrine. Muah!


AJ January 28, 2009, 12:48 PM

Im with the ladies about people actually taking the time out to write NEGATIVE comments to the blogger … .. Obviously they’re the ones who are insecure and all that extra “GARBAGE” they decided to submit! But, you are who you are and you love what you love. I think if we can all refocas some of the negative energy we spill out onto others back on ourselves, then we can finally have a world free from hate and dismay! I have tried the back door and personally.. I dont like it but its something my husband likes to do on occassions. One thing you learn about marriage is that it requires a lot of sacrifice and compromise… . This is one of the sacrifices i’ve had to make in my marriage . .. and believe it or not my husband appreciates it.

Sharonda January 29, 2009, 12:14 PM

Seriously how is anyone suppose to take advice from a chic that doesnt even know who the baby daddy is. One minute its Wayne, then Bow wow and now its that eddie winslow dude. She was all jumping on his car acting like a straight up fool and we’re suppose to take advice from her? She cant even handle a normal relationship its nothing but drama. Mom logic needs to really take time and find out who their “authors” are before they let them loose to the public representing their site.

NotaPrude January 30, 2009, 3:38 PM

It might just be, and I have an extreme view of “don’t knock until you try it”. But anal sex is a blast. I’m unmarried and I certainly don’t make a habit of it, but I enjoy the experience. If your willing go for it, and certainly take your experiences with a grain of salt. Was it your first time? His? Did you use lube? Stretch? All those will contribute to having a better time than the last. Of course don’t do something your not comfortable with, but I don’t find anything wrong with experimenting.

~~Adventurous January 30, 2009, 9:21 PM

Don’t knock it until you try it!! I never thought I would try it but it was worth the pain!! It takes time but it gets better trust me ;) It’s Great!!

Demeara February 1, 2009, 1:32 AM


gg February 2, 2009, 10:30 PM

I am sorry my comment offended people.I thought this was a website were we can say how we feel.I am not a negative person im just expressing how i feel.If the people who had positive responses can take the time out to respond so can i.

phil February 19, 2009, 1:50 PM

FAKE! Anal sex is something that is being forced into relationships via the porn industry. So the sexual curiosity raising questions coming from a porn star like Karrine Steffans shouldn’t really surprise anyone. A very important part of any relationship is COMMUNICATION. Talking together and discussing wants and desires will eliminate a whole lot of misunderstandings and greatly improve healthy sexual relationships. Never let anyone pressure you into sex that is unpleasant. Nuf said!

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