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Your Child is NOT Gifted!

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Guest blogger Mary Poppins: I get it. Your daughter cannot go to school because you don't have time to nurture her at home, so that she interacts appropriately with other children. This does not mean I am going to become her teacher -- I'm already watching your 10-month-old twins. I don't have time nor do I have the desire to work on phonics and mathematics, even if she is "academically ahead of the curve".

Mother and daughter

I may be an SAT prep tutor, but I get paid extra for that. I also am not juggling two 10-month-old twins when I am tutoring. And for your information, as a tutor, I can tell you straight up your kid is not exceptionally talented. In fact, she is just a big pain in the ass.

She does not understand the word no. Being "gifted" should not give her the option of ignoring what I tell her to do. I cannot believe you think it's appropriate to let her continue with what she's doing if she isn't ready to stop. She is not Picasso, so me asking her to come eat lunch with the rest of us is not going to halt her from creating a masterpiece. The fact that you even let her control her own play schedule is so utterly ridiculous I sometimes just become sad at what your life will be like with her in a few years. Let's not even talk about what she is going to contribute to society.

Also, when she tells me that she is a "brat" and the only way I can cure her of this is by letting her watch "Bratz" on TV and chewing gumballs, this is not her being precocious, this is her being conniving. This attitude is probably the reason she was asked to leave school. You are only allowing her to be a menace. While I may think this is funny because I'm the babysitter, you as the parent should be quick to let her know this is NOT okay. But of course you didn't because everything that comes out of her mouth is pure genius in your opinion.

Good luck with that later.

next: Octuplets Mom Has SIX Other Kids -- No Dad?
33 comments so far | Post a comment now
Jenny January 30, 2009, 9:22 AM

When did mom logic start posting “articles” from “bloggers” who are just posting letters to people in their lives that they don’t have the guts to actually say to them?

kirsten January 30, 2009, 9:56 AM

I agree with you Jenny. I love momlogic I check it out everyday, but I am getting a little sick of these “articles” from “bloggers” that are really people just bitching about something that really doesn’t matter to anyone else. A lot of these articles are written by very immature people that need to take a deep breath and grow up.

Sally January 30, 2009, 10:58 AM

I don’t think it’s a letter to one individual person, I think it’s a letter to all parents who spoil their children to the point of no return. As someone who works with kids I can tell you that this hits close to home. There are a lot of children I have seen over the years who suffer because their parents tell them they are the smartest and most talented person in the world. And they make life miserable for everyone around them.

Laura January 30, 2009, 11:56 AM

There is positive re-enforcement & then there is just plain laziness in parenting!!

I for 1 do believe in positive re-enforcement but do not allow behavior that is not appropriate either & is dealt with time-outs!!! Challenges or not little ones need boundaries :D

Thanks for posting what needs to be said ALOT more often :D

Anonymous January 30, 2009, 12:18 PM

I have to say it would be a cold day in Hell before I ever let this person around my children whether her points are valid or not. I don’t know guys, is this what the platforms have digressed to? It seems very troll like to me. Just MHO.

Karen January 30, 2009, 12:54 PM

I think it’s a good reminder not to encourage bratty behavior, even if it’s cute, or your kid might end up kicked out of school and despised by objective adults. (OK, this particular adult isn’t fully objective, but she is neither a kid-hater nor the girl’s parent, so that’s at least somewhat objective.) I was a baby genius, but my mother taught me how to channel my energies into things like reading, writing, and editing — something I’m still doing today, for a living now. This girl, gifted or not, doesn’t know how to behave. And it’s no surprise; her mother apparently doesn’t know that you can’t just add a child to a flock and expect your nanny to take care of her without extra help or pay, and she doesn’t know that when your kid gets kicked out of school, you need to find her both a new school and some psychological help. Maybe it’s because I doubt I will ever be able to afford a nanny, but I actually enjoy the chance to hear issues from that end of the parenting spectrum. And this is just my opinion, not judging other people’s reactions at all; I can see getting annoyed by the “write a letter to yourself” venting tone of this post.

Jan January 30, 2009, 1:01 PM

I agree with Sally. I don’t think this is a letter to one individual person, but if it were they deserve it. If my girl turns out to be actually gifted, I will not let her know that because I do not want a conceited child. She’s not even three and she is already starting to read. By that I mean that she is very slowly sounding out the words… very very slowly. I am not going to call her a genius because of that. I do tell her she’s smart though. But if you over do it, and you let them get away with talking back, you’re in for a really bad time when they grow up. My niece is being raised that way. They laugh whenever she slaps a grown up, or whenever she does something similar that is obviously not funny at all. She gets away with lots of things. We need to teach our children discipline and manners. Which means, to always respect their elders.

Charity Hisle January 30, 2009, 1:11 PM

I disagree with Anonymous. It is apparent that this child has issues that the parents are not addressing. I think that being a parent isn’t easy, and some parents take the easy way instead of the right way.

I’m the parent of 3 gifted (yes, all tested) children and they ALL push the envelope. I don’t wait for them to come to dinner, and I don’t wait for them to do what I tell them to do. When this child grows up, she will be faced with the harsh reality that she will have to comply with company policies and take directions from a supervisor. It is important to teach our children to respect authority.

As for being out of school: If the child is truly advanced they have special classes for gifted kids. My son had to have a special curriculum created just for him because he was more advanced than the gifted students in his school. It only took me taking the time to meet with the principal and gifted coordinator. Taking her out of school made her feel entitled to make her own schedule, since shes more “special” than everyone else.

As for this letter: I get it. I see so many children that feel entitled because their parents are too lazy to discipline them. This letter applies to more parents than it’s intended recipient.

As the babysitter, she should make sure the parents are aware that she will take the time to improve this child, rather than complain about her, and tell the parents that she cares enough to teach the child proper behavior. It’s all in how you handle the situation…

Anonymous January 30, 2009, 5:12 PM

everybody thinks thay have a baby einstein

KatyD January 30, 2009, 10:18 PM

I agree with Mary Poppins. Apparently she was hired to care for twins and now has the extra burden of home-schooling this braniac spoiled older child. My advice to Mary is to demand triple pay (tutors are not cheap)…or QUIT!

KatyD January 30, 2009, 11:07 PM

My daughter was placed in a gifted class throughout elementary school. By 5th grade my daughter was so overwhelmed with the amount of work that she asked me to change her class and I did. At the age of 22 she has a nice job and is doing well. Some of her friends who remained in the gifted program burned out in High School or college and started using drugs. One passed away from a drunk driving accident. The pressure placed on these “gifted” kids by parents and teachers can be too much. Whether they’re 10 or 20 years old many start to rebel and the results can be disastrous. My advice is to raise a child that is happy, healthy, and responsible and the rest will fall in place.

Nuff said December 28, 2009, 10:56 PM

Lol. I knew people like that brat in school. “Smart” (according to their parents, who got them into GT or what have you) but really just high-strung, loud, and moronic beyond all reason. What happened to being smart AND well behaved?

Anonymous July 8, 2010, 1:02 AM

Wow. All you parents, especially Charity, need to get over your children. All three tested? and one needed special curriculum just for him? Good for you. But honestly: poor child… he has no chance, no chance at all.

Children who are labeled “gifted” are not any smarter. Studies have been shown to prove this. They either have a higher work ethic, OCD, or other psychological issues.

My advice? Your friends are probably sick of hearing you brag about your “gifted” child, your child is probably loosing quality time interacting with classmates, who probably outcast him or her due to this “gifted” status, and most likely your child won’t end up going to an ivy league, but rather rebel in highschool in order to fit in.

good luck

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