Pro-Choice? Quit Crying About Your Miscarriage

Pro-Choice? Quit Crying About Your Miscarriage

Thursday, February 5, 2009

filed under: health logic

Editor's note: momlogic values the right of every woman to have -- and express -- their opinion, and this post is no exception. For those who have a strong reaction to the sentiments expressed below, we encourage you to make your voice heard in our community.

Guest blogger Gina: I respect women's right to choose, but I have little tolerance for pro-choicers who expect sympathy when they have a miscarriage.

These are women who put pro-choice buttons on their backpacks in college and ridiculed pro-lifers for being backward, repressive religious freaks who want to control the world's uteruses.

Ten years have passed and lo and behold, these women have grown up, gotten married, and now have the itch to have a baby of their own. Suddenly the monthly visitor that they were relieved to get when they were 20, now, at 32, plunges them into the depths of depression.

Like vegetarians who eat chicken but not beef, many pro-choice advocates want it both ways. It's a baby when they want it to be, it's a bundle of cells when they don't.

If you believe that pregnancy doesn't produce a baby until some magic number (13 weeks? 20 weeks? 40?), then you must also agree that it's ridiculous to break down in hysterics, set up a memorial website for your "angel," and seek out a grief counselor when you start bleeding in your first trimester. After all, you're simply talking about the loss of a conglomeration of microscopic cells, right?! That's hardly something to cry about.

Advocate all you want, but don't come crying to me when your hypocrisy hits you like a ton of bricks. If you are going to defend the right to abort babies, you don't have the right to be upset when yours dies.

306 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

Gina: You are selfish and intolerant. I would never personally have an abortion and for myself I am pro-life, but how dare you or anyone tell other women what to do with their bodies, their babies or anything else. You are no one’s judge. Leave it to a higher power.

- Patty

Posted 02/06/09 11:56 AM

I think the logic is missing from this ‘momlogic’ piece. And a bit of copyediting would certainly help. If you wish to sway people with words, this is not an effective way to do it. Reproductive choices, food choices - we all make choices in life and rarely are they absolute choices. Choosing to eat chicken and not beef is a personal choice. Choosing to try to have a baby is a personal choice. Choosing to spread hate and misinformation is a personal choice.

- AKS

Posted 02/06/09 12:13 PM

This is the most disgusting thing I have ever read. A woman excersizing her right to choose and mouring the loss of a wanted child are two very different things. A miscarriage, in the case of a wanted, planned pregnancy can be a very devastating thing, regardless of your opinions on abortion.

- Anonymous

Posted 02/06/09 12:38 PM

This writer just makes me sick. I just loooove the generalizing of Pro-choicers. I would prefer a young woman to make a choice to have a child when she’s ready. When she knows she can provide a life for said child. Reguardless if a woman is pro life or pro choice it doesn’t mean “you” have to be so damn cruel. Their people. What makes you think that a woman who has an abortion doesn’t mourn? I’ve seen the grief and yes, guilt. I have a sister in law who had to abort because the child would have been growing her fallopian tube. A few months later she got pregnant again and had a missacriage. Along with losing her child TWICE she lost one of her tubes and ovaries. So does she not have the right to be upset because she aborted her first one? Again, “you” make me sick. I sincerely hope you’re just bitter because you can’t have children… this world doesn’t need people like you breeding. Go and get yourself a heart.

- Annie

Posted 02/06/09 12:46 PM

This is my first time seeing this website, and the very first post I read floored me. I can’t believe this website posted such and ignorant and hateful entry. That aside, it’s obvious the writer has never lost a baby, otherwise, they wouldnt have written such filth.

- stephanie

Posted 02/06/09 12:49 PM

I think women should be allowed to mourn both a miscarriage and an abortion. Both are a sign that something has gone awry. The point is that just because something is sad, or even tragic, doesn’t mean it should be prohibited by law.

- April B

Posted 02/06/09 01:00 PM

I guess everyone is entitled to an opinion but to assume that someone who is Prochoice (and yes I am very Prochoice) doesn’t have feelings or thinks that abortion is a walk in the park is well ignorant. I understand that you need to put up posts that generate lots of hits for your rankings but as someone who is an editor, you can do it by posting very intelligent information, not nonsense like this. Thank the Goddess that this site isn’t even close to what REAL MOMS think but I must thank you for showing your true colors. Because of people like me (yes there are thousands of us) Prochoice will certainly remain for our Daughters and Granddaughters and your opinion is just as I said, very ignorant. Please educate yourself.

- E

Posted 02/06/09 01:51 PM

I don’t believe for a SECOND that you are truly pro-choice.

- Cristina Cuevas

Posted 02/06/09 01:54 PM

You’ve completely forgotten another side to this…plenty of women DO grieve over an abortion. They will grieve for the loss of a potential child, for the terrible situation, for the fact that they were pushed into a terrible, hard choice. Women who abort are doing what they think is best for themselves, and also in many cases for their partners, and for EXISTING or future children. If you have 3 already, and can’t afford to feed another, do you condemn your children and your partner to starving for a potential, not-yet-existing child? Think these things through before you post such triggering, cruel rants.

- Kay

Posted 02/06/09 02:04 PM

Well sweetheart.. Let’s hope that if YOU ever want to have children that you are “blessed” with a miscarriage or better yet a still birth and then you can kiss my ass when you look for sympathy.. and I applaud you on your ignorance about those who are Pro Choice.. It’s about a person’s right to choose and not have some psychotic fanatic telling ME that I am going to hell.

- Jane

Posted 02/06/09 02:16 PM

Isn’t a miscarriage just God giving a woman an abortion? Post this to: None of your damn business, Gina.

- Bob

Posted 02/06/09 02:23 PM

Shame on the woman who wrote this. This is a heartless rambling by a woman that obviously cannot see past her own two feet.

- Cindy

Posted 02/06/09 02:51 PM

Momlogic you should be ashamed for putting such hate up on this website. What are you looking for? Page views, in my opinion. Quite shameful. Gina, I have quite a few words for you. None appropriate for this space.

- Shelli

Posted 02/06/09 02:55 PM

Based on your confidence, I’m assuming you’ve actually been in this situation? So you realize that people might learn from the experiences that occur between the age of 20 and 30? That there’s more to that kind of decision than flipping a coin? NO? You haven’t experienced this? Then shame on you.

- Susan

Posted 02/06/09 03:58 PM

I’m puzzled as to why Momlogic would think this poorly written, dazzling display of ignorance was worth posting. Gina, you obviously can’t understand that the context and intent of a situation has a bearing on its outcome, and how one responds to it. Pro-choice = the belief that women should be able to decide what happens to their bodies and when, including when and if they become parents. It does not mean that a woman will never opt to become a parent, or that when she does, she will be any less emotionally attached to her fetus, or the expectations she has about becoming a mother, than anyone else.

- emma

Posted 02/06/09 04:24 PM

Really? You could be so callous as to say that because I defend a woman’s right to choose whether or not to bring life into this world, that I don’t get to mourn the loss of my own much-wanted, much-loved baby? The logical fallacy you present here is perhaps the most idiotic argument I’ve ever read.

- Amy

Posted 02/06/09 05:15 PM

I wrote about this article more extensively on my own blog, but it’s worth adding my comments here as well. I found the article to be both illogical, but perhaps more than that, predicated on vitriol and hate. I wonder what the author intended to accomplish? She can’t have thought she was furthering the abortion debate. But, perhaps more than this, I am astounded that the editorial staff would permit this article. I notice the article appears unsigned, and I wonder what it says about the credibility and integrity of the site organizers, that they would allow the very worst kind of tabloid “journalism” on their website. I wonder what has gone terribly wrong, that they have allowed their site to be hijacked by such terribly publicity. I can’t imagine that I’m the only person who was only here for this article, and has utterly no desire to see anything else about this site. It’s bad enough to hear the incoherent mumblings of a cruel and mean-spirited person. It’s unconscionable to be the person that publishes this sort of content. As my Nana would say, be ashamed of yourself!

- Mrs.Spit

Posted 02/06/09 05:58 PM

This is beyond stupidity! momlogic, you may respect opinions of others. I however do not respect people who have NO incling of how to respect others. I myself am pro-choice, I have suffered, yes, suffered a miscarriage and a son who was born still at six and a half months. If Gina would like to tell me to my face after she met me and lets say, liked me for me, her opinion then, I might respect it. I beg to differ with her though on her beliefs and think that she needs to look deeply into herself to see what kind of a person she really is. Of course, to be a person you have to have a heart and I don’t believe she has one!

- Amy

Posted 02/06/09 06:00 PM

Wow, how incredibly ridiculous, insensitive and bitchy! Clearly written by a hateful pro-lifer. Not even going to dignify this post with a full-fledged, intelligent response; IT DOESN’T DESERVE IT.

- Anonymous

Posted 02/06/09 06:45 PM

I’m sure somewhere in the 200+ comments someone has pointed out how it is a state of mind. Abortion isn’t something people take lightly. Get the term pro-choice? It’s the choice of having a child or not. If you aren’t ready, most people don’t just go and walk away from it with a skip in their step. When people are ready, they are ready to make the choice to have a child. If they got pregnant at 20 and are not prepared, they want the choice to not throw their lives away for something unwanted.

- Jessica

Posted 02/06/09 08:26 PM