Pro-Choice? Quit Crying About Your Miscarriage

Pro-Choice? Quit Crying About Your Miscarriage

Thursday, February 5, 2009

filed under: health logic

Editor's note: momlogic values the right of every woman to have -- and express -- their opinion, and this post is no exception. For those who have a strong reaction to the sentiments expressed below, we encourage you to make your voice heard in our community.

Guest blogger Gina: I respect women's right to choose, but I have little tolerance for pro-choicers who expect sympathy when they have a miscarriage.

These are women who put pro-choice buttons on their backpacks in college and ridiculed pro-lifers for being backward, repressive religious freaks who want to control the world's uteruses.

Ten years have passed and lo and behold, these women have grown up, gotten married, and now have the itch to have a baby of their own. Suddenly the monthly visitor that they were relieved to get when they were 20, now, at 32, plunges them into the depths of depression.

Like vegetarians who eat chicken but not beef, many pro-choice advocates want it both ways. It's a baby when they want it to be, it's a bundle of cells when they don't.

If you believe that pregnancy doesn't produce a baby until some magic number (13 weeks? 20 weeks? 40?), then you must also agree that it's ridiculous to break down in hysterics, set up a memorial website for your "angel," and seek out a grief counselor when you start bleeding in your first trimester. After all, you're simply talking about the loss of a conglomeration of microscopic cells, right?! That's hardly something to cry about.

Advocate all you want, but don't come crying to me when your hypocrisy hits you like a ton of bricks. If you are going to defend the right to abort babies, you don't have the right to be upset when yours dies.

306 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

@Jan Really, one of the best? Sigh…

- Lori

Posted 02/04/09 11:54 PM

Well, Momlogic, you have lost another reader. Freedom of expression is one thing, but publicizing poorly thought out hate speech is another. You should be ashamed.

- Anonymous

Posted 02/05/09 07:49 AM

Talk about being hypocritical… I find it the height of hypocracy that christians and other people of faith can be so hateful. Aren’t you supposed to ask yourself, what would jesus do? I doubt he would advocate telling a person who has just lost her hopes and dreams that she has no right to grieve, regardles of what her past “sins” may have been. Kinda like a vegetarian who eats chicken? Really?

- Amy

Posted 02/05/09 10:36 AM

This reeks of stupidity.

- CVJ

Posted 02/05/09 11:02 AM

Pro-choice means you believe in/respect the right for other people to choose. It doesn’t mean that that person has had an abortion, just that they support the rights for women to be able to choose. I am proudly pro-choice, have never had an abortion, and have had 5 miscarriages. Someone saying that I have no right to mourn the losses of those pregnancies, maybe isn’t as wonderful as they seem to think they are.

- KellyR

Posted 02/05/09 11:59 AM

Sorry to say you’ve lost another frequent visitor. It was just irresponsible to post this article. It’s a shame, too, because yours is one of the better Mom blogs around, with cutting edge journalism and insightful posts. But there was no reason to post this other than to incite comments. Congratulations… you are now the shock jocks of the mom-blogger world. Is that what you were going for?

- Dawn

Posted 02/05/09 12:39 PM

Profound. It seems that most of the people who disliked this article keep making rationalizations and excuses. Somehow it is o.k. to abort a baby “before” you were ready to be a mother? But once you decide you are mature enough, you want sympathy and compassion from those around you if you miscarry? You can’t have your cake and eat it to. For those who enjoy the excuse “but I wanted to wait until I would be a better mother..to properly care for a child”, then stop having sex, use birth control, or do the right thing and give your child up for adoption to a loving family. I am proud of the author who actually had the guts to stand up for what she believed in. Just because it may not be the view point you like…does not make her spiteful. I think aborting a baby is beyond spiteful.

- Amy

Posted 02/05/09 01:17 PM

I simply cannot fathom how someone can be so hateful and cold toward a person who has the right to grieve a loss just like anyone else! Whether or not you are pro-choice, if you have conceived a child that you are making plans for, when you lose that child (or potential child…), it can hurt just as badly as if you had the chance to hold that child in your arms right before he/she passed. Pro-choice advocates simply believe that women have the right to decide what happens within their own bodies. As far as how ML could post something that could possibly make someone that has recently experienced a pregnancy loss feel any worse about the situation, this article has definitely turned me away and most likely many of my friends that frequent this site. Thanks Mom Logic…

- Gina Marie

Posted 02/05/09 01:23 PM

This blogger sucks. If momlogic continues to have guest bloggers like this, i’ll stop reading. - I have better things to do with my time. This blurt (can’t even really call it an article) is thoughtless, ignorant, hasty, and makes no real valid points as a real editorial would. You can tell this person thinks that she is clever too which is a joke. She shows no real knowledge of the issue or the basis of the main different perspectives and movements on each side of the issue of abortion. It just sounds like a crazy rant.

- Lora

Posted 02/05/09 02:26 PM

I keep reading it over and over thinking that I must have missed something. This post makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I can’t figure out how one thing has anything to do with the other.

- Tiffanni

Posted 02/05/09 02:40 PM

I guess what confuses me the most is the logic leap that all those that are pro-choice actually are okay with abortions being done. I’m pro-choice but I think it’s sad that abortions are even an option and in a perfect world they wouldn’t exist. I’d never get one myself because I don’t agree with them. But I recognize the need for personal choice. So if I have a miscarriage I’ll be sad about it. Although I will say that when I had my miscarriage before getting pregnant with my daughter I wasn’t all that devastated because I recognized why miscarriages happen.

- Pamala

Posted 02/05/09 02:41 PM

Just pure ignorance! I find it hard to believe that this backward way of thinking even exists in people who claim to be educated.

- Ali

Posted 02/05/09 02:45 PM

WTF is this? MomLogic…I don’t care about your disclaimer, this website just lost all credibility with me. Buh-bye.

- Kris

Posted 02/05/09 02:47 PM

I won’t be reading MomLogic anymore after this.

- Heather

Posted 02/05/09 02:53 PM

Gina, how old are you?

- Leah

Posted 02/05/09 02:53 PM

I think that this was a fake article just to get women fired up. MomLogic has disgusting articles anyway. I only found to site under two weeks ago and I am already sick to my stomach of all the FLITH ON THIS WEBSITE.

- Anonymous

Posted 02/05/09 03:00 PM

Half the articles I can’t even read on my lunch break because they are so disgusting. You never know what gross or stupid article is going to pop on the homepage of MOMLogic. I’m done with this nasty site.

- Anonymous

Posted 02/05/09 03:02 PM

I wish everyone would just seriously really just boycott this dirty website. It’s like the worst website ever.

- Tina

Posted 02/05/09 03:04 PM

MomLOgic is telling it’s readings, “You are stupid and you like to read this trash so we are going to give you trash to read. Stupid American women who read and watch garbage all day”

- Dionne

Posted 02/05/09 03:07 PM

“If you are going to defend the right to abort babies, you don’t have the right to be upset when yours dies.” Telling a certain group of people what they have the right to feel or not feel is not only illogical, but also completely counter-intuitive to the (ridiculous) point you were attempting to make. I would be offended by this post, but frankly, it’s too stupid and poorly written to justify that.

- Kerri

Posted 02/05/09 03:12 PM