Guest blogger Paul Starke: A few readers have "friended" me on Facebook recently. And while I'm grateful for my new cyber-friends, I must apologize for something. You may or may not be aware of the viral "25 Random Things About Me" thing that's spreading around the Facebook universe. Basically, you write 25 arbitrary facts about yourself, and send it 25 friends of yours, who then write their own lists and so on and so on. It's like a Ponzi scheme of narcissism. So when I was "tagged" by a friend to write 25 facts, I rebelled, and instead made up 25 "facts," most of which are obscene and unprintable here. Immediately after I hit "send," I regretted it. What would my new Facebook/momlogic friends think about my phony, smart-ass "facts"? I've decided to atone, with "12 Completely True Random Facts About Me (and my son)."
1) I have the number "42" tattooed on my right shoulder - No, I wasn't drunk, and no, that's not my pants size.
2) My son Luke isn't named after, but is inspired by, "Star Wars." It was either Luke or Jabba the Starke.
3) This past week, I've been lulling Luke to sleep by singing him "Bohemian Rhapsody" in its entirety, although I leave out some of the more "murdery" lyrics.
4) If there's a finer restaurant in America than Outback Steakhouse, I've yet to find it. There's not a lot I WOULDN'T do for a Bloomin' Onion.
5) Sometimes, when I'm feeling blue and just need a smile from Luke to cheer me up, I tickle him until he laughs uncontrollably. I feel like this is an artificial way to get a cheap laugh. Tickling a baby is the HGH of comedy.
6) I got choked up watching part of the Super Bowl with Luke - even though he was eating my iPod at the time.
8) When my wife is changing Luke, I secretly hope he pees in her face -- not out of malice, of course, it's just hilarious.
9) Moments into my first date with my wife, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but if that wasn't in the cards, I would've settled for feeling her boobs for 10 minutes.
10) If you name a movie (that I've seen), I can tell you where I saw it and with whom. This is useful and impressive never.
11) For reasons unbeknownst to either of us, my nickname for my wife, and hers for me, is "Gerald." Don't we sound like a fun couple?
12) Every time I wake up at night, I go over to my son, touch his chest and make sure he's still breathing. Please tell me I'm not crazy and please feel free to post your lists of random things!
|Paul Starke is an Emmy-winning TV producer, and a co-writer of the #1 New York Times bestseller, An Inconvenient Book.|