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Taking Octuplets Away Not the Answer!

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Taking Nadya's kids away is not the answer, says one mom.
nadya suleman touching baby

Jackie: I think by now we've all read enough about the octuplets mom. I've had it just as much as the next mom. But there's one thing keeps getting mentioned that I just can't let go.

"They should take those kids away."

Listen, I get it. Nadya Suleman is a bucket overflowing with all kinds of crazy. She has some serious emotional issues and is in desperate need of help -- of the therapist and nanny kind.

But should she really lose her kids?

I'm sure some just say it flippantly and don't necessarily believe it. But others are seriously calling for the removal of her 14 children. And that just makes me sad.

"What about her finances? She's on welfare!"

Are California taxpayers footing the bill? Yes. And being from the bankrupt Golden State, that ticks me off too. But there are millions of people all over this country receiving some sort of financial assistance -- disablity, welfare, you name it. And many of those families continue to have kids (gasp!). The difference is, they have them one at a time, falling under the radar of the rest of the country. There's nobody outside their door (or on national television) calling to have their kids ripped from them.

"She couldn't possibly give them all the love they need."

If you are a person who has uttered the above statement, come closer so I can slap you. Have we forgotten that in countless cultures around the world, it is customary for big families to all co-exist under one roof? Are we going to seek out all of them and pull them apart, just because it doesn't seem to fit what we think is 'normal'? Being my mother's eleventh child, I can honestly say that I couldn't have been loved any more than I was growing up. Was it chaos? Hell, yeah. But it was my chaos. They're my family -- my lifeline. Not a day went by that I didn't know my parents, brothers and sisters would do anything for me -- they still would. But how would you feel if you knew sometimes I felt sorry for you, growing up with one sibling. Looks pretty lonely from this angle.

"But have you seen her house? What a mess!"

Yeah, I get it... she's a slob. I saw the pictures, too. But I'd be the first mom to start worrying if families were torn apart every time the house was out of control... or children weren't given enough attention... or Mommy was acting a little nuts. Damn, CPS would be on their way to my house right now. What do you think is happening here while I write this post?

Unless in danger of abuse -- emotional, physical or mental, children belong with their mother. Period. And we, as a society, should do everything in our power to help families stay together, supporting them in any way possible.

Being an adoptive mother myself, I am thankful every day that I get to raise my daughter. But I wish it were different. Raising Lucy is Plan B. It doesn't mean I don't love her like she came from my own flesh and bones -- oh my God, I do. It just means Plan A would've been that her birth mother be in better health with enough support and resources to care for her. Plan A would be that my daughter wouldn't grow up feeling such a tremendous loss, wondering if her biological mother really loved her.

So before get on your high horse and judge, take a good long look at your own life.

It should be easy to spot from that glass house you're living in.


Want more? Connect with Jackie in the Momlogic community.


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117 comments so far | Post a comment now
LoseLose February 19, 2009, 2:38 PM

If you pull these kids out of the homes, we’re STILL paying for them. Say what you want about the mother but they should not be separated from their brothers and sisters.

Senko February 19, 2009, 3:15 PM

I have noticed all these articles defending this psycho lady since she got her new agent. I wonder how much the person was paid to write this article.

Renee February 19, 2009, 3:26 PM

She isn’t losing her home… she is HOMELESS. The home in Whittier that her children live in is HER MOTHER’S HOME,THE GRANDMOTHER. Who, by the way, uses her ENTIRE monthly retirement check to PAY FOR THE 6 kids her loser daughter already has!!! So this tragedy called Mommy is JOBLESS, UNMARRIED, AND HOMELESS. Nice. Perfect. Lovely. What a flippin waste of flesh. Those poor poor children.

Anonymous February 19, 2009, 3:27 PM

Why do any of us mothers CHOOSE to conceive and give birth? For selfish reasons—period. And many of us were unstable financially or emotionally when we made the choice. Most of us raised great kids. Some of us failed miserably. The octomom is arguably way more unstable financially and emotionally than we are. And more selfish. But her children are here. Now what? Those other large families various posters refer to had their kids one by one. The older helped the younger. And there were likely lots of helpful relatives, too. Let’s hope that if and when the “octomum” realizes that her kids are miserable in a crowded filthy house, not able to get what they need emotionally from their single mom and burned out grandma, perpetually in need of medical treatment for the illnesses associated with prematurity—or simply being in a house with too many kids, that she will cry “HELP”—for THEIR sake. She won’t be getting her selfish “mothering” desires met by mounds of dirty diapers, runny noses and squalling babies. The press will have abandoned her—so no more ego stroking. Will we still begrudge those poor kids the government assistance they deserve? I hope not. She’ll get some therapy—but they are going to need the village to raise them.

Vanessa February 19, 2009, 4:39 PM

I do not know where to begin. We do not live in a world where we need to have huge families to support the farm anymore. I do believe she should have those kids taken away, for the fact that they are going to be neglected. Not because they are on welfare, but because the woman is a scam artist and is a poor mother with her mental state. She is mentally unfit. Have we forgotten that not all of these kids require the normal level of care, but a lot more, and 3 of them so far? How many of these newborns will require extra care because of all the problems that can happen to a child with a VERY low birth weight? (Ive had some myself being 1 pound when I was born too). At least in bigger families the ages are usually staggered, The kids who are 7 or so will have enormous amounts of pressure put on them. Those poor kids, all of the same age, will experience things you can’t imagine being in a NORMAL (as in not a circus show for the media) large family. Its nice when you see a large family and the parents are happy and blessed because it was the first time they could conceive, but this is not the case.

Vanessa Y. February 19, 2009, 4:40 PM

I do not know where to begin. We do not live in a world where we need to have huge families to support the farm anymore. I do believe she should have those kids taken away, for the fact that they are going to be neglected. Not because they are on welfare, but because the woman is a scam artist and is a poor mother with her mental state. She is mentally unfit. Have we forgotten that not all of these kids require the normal level of care, but a lot more, and 3 of them so far? How many of these newborns will require extra care because of all the problems that can happen to a child with a VERY low birth weight? (Ive had some myself being 1 pound when I was born too). At least in bigger families the ages are usually staggered, The kids who are 7 or so will have enormous amounts of pressure put on them. Those poor kids, all of the same age, will experience things you can’t imagine being in a NORMAL (as in not a circus show for the media) large family. Its nice when you see a large family and the parents are happy and blessed because it was the first time they could conceive, but this is not the case.

Vanessa Y. February 19, 2009, 4:46 PM

I do not know where to begin. We do not live in a world where we need to have huge families to support the farm anymore. I do believe she should have those kids taken away, for the fact that they are going to be neglected. Not because they are on welfare, but because the woman is a scam artist and is a poor mother with her mental state. She is mentally unfit. Have we forgotten that not all of these kids require the normal level of care, but a lot more, and 3 of them so far? How many of these newborns will require extra care because of all the problems that can happen to a child with a VERY low birth weight? (Ive had some myself being 1 pound when I was born too). At least in bigger families the ages are usually staggered, The kids who are 7 or so will have enormous amounts of pressure put on them. This is not what anyone would refer to as a normal situation, and these kids deserve so much better that what is being pushed upon them by their greedy mother. Slap me all ya want, the mom is too unfit to provide the love all 14 of these kids need. It would be a task for anyone who wasn’t mental.

Anonymous February 19, 2009, 5:07 PM

Thank you for writing this article.

Poverty should never be a good enough reason to separate mothers and babies.


Sue February 19, 2009, 5:44 PM

Wow - lots of bleeding heart clueless people out there! Take this woman’s children away (at least the last 8) and STERILIZE her. I believe that anyone who receives welfare should be required to be on birth control, and any children they do have after agreeing to collect welfare be given up for adoption or welfare payments stopped. I was adopted myself, and boy am I glad. My mother could not afford to raise me, so she allowed me to be adopted by a family who could. Not a single cent should be paid to this woman. She did an interview on TV saying this fall she was planning to go back to school and get a masters degree. HELLO?? ANYBODY SANE HOME?? Interesting she doesn’t think caring for 14 children (including 8 newborns) is enough work. Also, who is going to pay for her to go back to school? This woman is INSANE. If as society we don’t lock up looneys like this and care for the poor children, we have ceased to be a ‘civilized’ society.

Kate February 19, 2009, 9:56 PM

I totally agree with gio. Let us stop glorifying people having kids if they are living for a long period of time on welfare (temporary of lets say 6 months is another story). If someone is on welfare they should get the same amount of money whether they have two or twenty kids and if the parents are not able to provide the basic needs then the children should be taken away. While I do not believe you can force women to be on birth control I think women need to think about the consequences of having a baby they cannot provide the basic necessities for.

eemmaann February 19, 2009, 10:39 PM

Yeah, everyone knows there are lots of families on welfare and continuously gave birth. But I doubt that many of them would use IVF and put 6 embryos one time. Even though you don’t mind to risk your own life, but no mom would risk their own baby’s life. This is not a game. If one baby cannot lives, I still have 7 left? If this is not insane, I don’t know what! poor babies.

Maureen February 20, 2009, 12:19 AM

She’s selfish, yes. Should we split up these 8 children that shared a womb together? I think not. I think they will really hold that on their shoulders more then even getting taken away from their mother. Those babies need to be together, to nourish and support each other. They have a tough road ahead. If they are put up for adoption, no one is going to take 8 babies. If they do, we have to wonder what THEIR motives are. Most normal people don’t want 8 babies at a time. We need to step up to the plate like Americans are expected to do, stop worrying about the mom, and make sure those kids are taken care of. Let her prove she can do it, until otherwise let them stay together.

linda2 February 20, 2009, 2:34 AM

imho-we are all entitled to opinions. Bottom line is I love my 3 kids so much, after thier dad left, I sacrificed everything— including plans to return to school because thier needs came first. I wouldn’t adopt a puppy for them,—- meant another meal cost. That struggle to provide the basics and maybe a little fun was extremely hard! How can Nadya have loved the 6 so little, that she added another 8 to the equation? Yes, now that they’re here, now what? Please Nadya, do what poor loving moms do all the time. Give them to others that can love them unconditionally,and provide what she never will be able to. In life we all have to swallow bitter pills, ideally the kids shud stay together. Fertility procedures and a doc that crossed the line, will make an ideal situation impossible. The kids will survive being separated and forget thier time in the womb,(as another posted “how can they be seperated after so much time in the womb together.”) Ideally foster care until this mess can be sorted through seems a good way to go-its supervised, and temporary. Please posters, don’t equate this situation to other cultures. We all must live in this, our culture. This was nothing more than a stunt to get millions, an easy way out. Just ask Jackie and Lucy how goes the adoption? Lucy is well loved, as so many adoptees can attest to. Rest assure so will those kids be, when they have a chance to get out of the crazy house and into a loving decent home. Given a real start at life with consistency, less chaos, and everything Nadya can’t give, I think will be best, IMHO. Since she failed to consider the needs of the first 6,(and the health issues) how can she grasp 8? She took a chance to make instant money, the dealer won, now she shud pay for a horrible ploy. Give those kids a shot at life but not with someone who doesnt care. We all have heard stories of parents doing bad things with thier kids for money. Nayda used a different system, same agenda, so it seems. If there is no consequences I fear there might be repeats of this dasterdly game. Just the fact she has disabled kids from the first 6, how dare she take another chance at causing that suffering again! I see no inkling of love from Nayda. Knowing these 8 may suffer the same complications makes her unfit. She knew about disability- any parent would do anything not to have it repeated. The horror of seeing your child so small, helpless and suffering is unbearable. I know, it happened to me. WE must rescue and protect these victims now. Mom intentionally took a huge chance, no, she had to KNOW- that if 6 were to many to have without health repurcussions, then certainly 8 were.

Unbelievable  February 20, 2009, 6:50 AM

I have to laugh reading this article and the majority of the responses… BOTTOM LINE… It was her choice to get pregnant with and have these eight babies. She did this knowing she could not afford the six she already had. It is NOT taxpayer’s responsibility to pay for HER CHOICES. Let her have her babies and the BILL. If she cannot care for them on her own (childcare, financially, and love) then they should be taken away. She is a big girl who made her own decisions …. Now it is time to let her face the consequences of her actions good and bad. This article and some of the responses are a prime example of why America has a lot of the problems it does … LACK OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

Charlotte February 20, 2009, 2:22 PM

The author of this is working under the assumption that many/most/alot of families with children on welfare or getting forms of assistance are working the system. That is not always the case. For sure there are people out there that have more children while on welfare, but there are also a lot of needy people that are out there getting benefits temporarily or b/c they are so low income and whatever, not b/c they planned it and not b/c they need money for IVF/manicures/makeup/plastic surgery. I think your conclusiuons are based upon what you think the typical welfare recipient is like, and what their standard of living is like and so you think this isn’t that big of a deal b/c it isn’t that different from others on welfare. But imo you are very wrong and this is 100% unacceptable. I can’t believe anyone would defend any of this behavior.
This woman put those babies in danger from the start, in having so many implanted at once, insuring a high risk pregnancy. Insuring that some will very likely have a lifetime of health/mental issues. That is barely different to me that a mother who smokes crack while pregnant. She had to know that she was causing some of her babies to have lifelong handicaps.

charlotte February 20, 2009, 2:33 PM

Also, do you really think the issue at hand is that this mom has a messy home? NO!!! Explain how this woman can take care of her kids if they were ready to all go home with her today? Would she be able to take them to her home and give them proper care? Would they be safe if they were taken to her home today? —-Another thing, you bet people are mad, there are plenty of women who would like to be a stay at home mom, get a free ride, a nice house and someone else to pay for the health care and everything else. I am 31, have no kids and may not ever have kids if I am not finaincially able to. It makes me very sad, but I grew up on welfare and I will never have a child unless I am in a situation where I can provide a good lifestyle, a good lifestyle even if someday something crazy happened and my husband left us, b/c you never know, these things happen in real life. —Another thing, are you trying to say that the lifestyle this woman is going to have, is comparible to the avg. parent and child/children lifestyle on welfare? Do you think most people on welfare get to live the way that it appears she has been living, that they have a nice, if small and crowded, but still modestly nice middle class home and plastic surgery, b/c the reality is they don’t. What about all the other children out there stuck on welfare that don’t have the kind of lifestyle this woman has had up til’ now and will probably continue to have in the future? If you really care about children you would realize how many out there suffer and have so little, that are on welfare and are not living the way this woman and her kids are living!

Totallyamazed February 20, 2009, 2:41 PM

I can not believe some of things I am reading. All I have to say is anyone who believes these children should stay with their mother, and “we” as a nation should pay for it, must be insane or incredibly wealthy. Either case, be my guest and give them $$$. Me, on the other hand, intend to write all of those politians that “the nieve” people have voted into Washington and threaten their livihood as they have threatened ours. This woman can’t even support herself, she has taken over her mothers small house, who by the way she herself can’t afford, They will not have anyplace to live, but this woman, purposefully went out and impregnated herself knowing she had no money, no insurance no clue as to what was going to happen and ultimately knew she would have to depend on everyone else to raise and support her and her family. I’m not doing it! I wouldn’t dream of burdening an already over burdened system by being stupid and selfish. There are plenty of people who can’t have children but can afford them, that would be honored to take them in and not expect anyone else to pay for them. I don’t get this attitude let the State or the Gov’t pay your way. What are they thinking?? What part of “YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK” don’t you understand. (oh, that’s right, they don’t pay taxes, they just receive them in welfare, food stamps, housing and medicaid. After all this, I Can’t wait to see how many more “Americans” will “WORK THE SYSTEM” to sit back and let us working folk, pay for their meals. You work, you support your family and that’s what you do. The stupidty and nieveness in this country just boggles my mind. By the way, for the bleeding hearts, “once your bleeding hearts and wallets have dried up after “helping”. Don’t expect this “American” to bail you out, I am over the lazy people of this nation, sitting down and getting a free ride. It’s time everybody got off their butts and started providing for themselves and their own. It’s nobodies elses job but yours!

lo February 20, 2009, 4:14 PM

i’m looking at her fake nails and thinking, after my (one) son was born, being a single mom, it was about a year before i could afford a manicure. i mean, what’s next for her, breast implants? will the taxpayers have to foot the bill for those also? c’mon, how much more dumbed down are we as a society going to become?

Chrissy February 20, 2009, 6:39 PM

I agree with Vanessa.
Andf I would like to add that older kids are much harder to find adoptive/foster parents for but there are wait list for babies.
The point is this women, with her issues, can not care for 14 kids. No single person with 14 kids under the age of seven can. And when you add in the disabilities - these kids have no chance at a normal or healthy life. They actually do with adoption or foster parents because those adults have to go thru a background check, parenting classes, psychological testing - yes some bad parents slip thru. But most can provide the much needed additonal care that these babies with disabilities need. Even the older chidlren have stated that they did not want the babies to come home because they, as young as they are, knew what that meant to the household and themelves. Too bad Ms. Suleman didn’t have the same intelligence/insight.
Unfortunately. CPS will have to be involved.
I agree with the previous poster - Ms Suleman got her nails doen days two weeks after leaving the hospital. Where are her prioties? Clearly not with her child.

Jennifer February 20, 2009, 9:38 PM

Nadya clearly needs to be instituted. Nothing she say make much sense. Her answers on the Ann Curry Interviews and to the reports following her. She is the one that is seeking attention so badly that she gave birth to 8 more babies to get it. This lady is sick and if any company uses her for any endorsement. I will not buy it. This is sending the wrong message to all americans. She is the nightmare of this world. No money, on food stamps, no job and probably lie about her back problem too, so she can just attend school as a career………………….. If she has such bad lower back pain then how did she manage to have the first 6 kids and now 8 more???


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