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Taking Octuplets Away Not the Answer!

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Taking Nadya's kids away is not the answer, says one mom.
nadya suleman touching baby

Jackie: I think by now we've all read enough about the octuplets mom. I've had it just as much as the next mom. But there's one thing keeps getting mentioned that I just can't let go.

"They should take those kids away."

Listen, I get it. Nadya Suleman is a bucket overflowing with all kinds of crazy. She has some serious emotional issues and is in desperate need of help -- of the therapist and nanny kind.

But should she really lose her kids?

I'm sure some just say it flippantly and don't necessarily believe it. But others are seriously calling for the removal of her 14 children. And that just makes me sad.

"What about her finances? She's on welfare!"

Are California taxpayers footing the bill? Yes. And being from the bankrupt Golden State, that ticks me off too. But there are millions of people all over this country receiving some sort of financial assistance -- disablity, welfare, you name it. And many of those families continue to have kids (gasp!). The difference is, they have them one at a time, falling under the radar of the rest of the country. There's nobody outside their door (or on national television) calling to have their kids ripped from them.

"She couldn't possibly give them all the love they need."

If you are a person who has uttered the above statement, come closer so I can slap you. Have we forgotten that in countless cultures around the world, it is customary for big families to all co-exist under one roof? Are we going to seek out all of them and pull them apart, just because it doesn't seem to fit what we think is 'normal'? Being my mother's eleventh child, I can honestly say that I couldn't have been loved any more than I was growing up. Was it chaos? Hell, yeah. But it was my chaos. They're my family -- my lifeline. Not a day went by that I didn't know my parents, brothers and sisters would do anything for me -- they still would. But how would you feel if you knew sometimes I felt sorry for you, growing up with one sibling. Looks pretty lonely from this angle.

"But have you seen her house? What a mess!"

Yeah, I get it... she's a slob. I saw the pictures, too. But I'd be the first mom to start worrying if families were torn apart every time the house was out of control... or children weren't given enough attention... or Mommy was acting a little nuts. Damn, CPS would be on their way to my house right now. What do you think is happening here while I write this post?

Unless in danger of abuse -- emotional, physical or mental, children belong with their mother. Period. And we, as a society, should do everything in our power to help families stay together, supporting them in any way possible.

Being an adoptive mother myself, I am thankful every day that I get to raise my daughter. But I wish it were different. Raising Lucy is Plan B. It doesn't mean I don't love her like she came from my own flesh and bones -- oh my God, I do. It just means Plan A would've been that her birth mother be in better health with enough support and resources to care for her. Plan A would be that my daughter wouldn't grow up feeling such a tremendous loss, wondering if her biological mother really loved her.

So before get on your high horse and judge, take a good long look at your own life.

It should be easy to spot from that glass house you're living in.


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117 comments so far | Post a comment now
Corina February 20, 2009, 10:39 PM

While I agree that if a child is in an unsafe environment (roof, food, clothing, hygiene, etc.), what does this mean for being “pro-choice”? People can state their opinions, but it’s alarming to hear how people feel they have a right to impede on a person’s desire to have or not have a baby. I’m curious to hear how people would respond that instead, this woman knowingly had unprotected sex and ended up having octuplets? Remember the outrage many years ago when the news story came out about a couple who were expecting twins and decided to have one aborted? What if she decided to have aborted all but one? We have a family friend who is financially sound and responsible, and proudly single, but is going through hoops with trying to adopt just ONE baby. Judging who deserves to want to have a baby who shouldn’t want to have a baby is prejudice.

Tiffany February 20, 2009, 11:37 PM

People often talk about how many millions it will take to raise 14 children and they are mad about it because they have to help. If I am not mistaken Mrs. Duggar keeps having children and is currently up to baby number 18 which the last time I checked is 4 more than Nadya Sulemans kids. If people are going to talk about taking away Ms. Sulemans kids because she doesn’t have the financial means shouldn’t they be thinking about taking awya Mrs. Duggars kids as that family is not a millionaire family either? I am confused, how is a family with 18 okay but not a family of 14?

seriously February 21, 2009, 12:16 AM

I don’t understand…if she was rich and married she would have gotten a new house,diapers for all, formula.. etc…but shes single and poor, so she gets nothing but grief…she had no possiable way of knowing that all six eggs would take..and multiply..she was implanted with six eggs everytime she did ivf and the most she had was two. I understand she already had six babies at home and maybe she shouldn’t have done ivf again, but the doctor basically told her its now or never and the thought of no more kids scared her so she went ahead and did it. Her only option after they all took was abortion..and she chose to keep them..if only one egg took and she now had only seven children nobody would even know her name.. and further more “give the babies away” would you split up twins?? Then why octos thats a horriable idea. lets not take it out on the children

TAMARA2 February 21, 2009, 4:17 PM

TAKE THOSE KIDS AWAY!!!!! AND GIVE THEM EACH A BETTER LIFE, WITH SOMEONE WHO WILL HAVE TIME TO SPEND WITH THEM ,AND CAN AFFORD THEM. THIS WOMAN HAS SICK VIEWS AND MORALS. WHERE IS SOCIAL SERVICES IN ALL THIS?

torang  February 21, 2009, 9:10 PM

Thank you for explaining things so well.
I am very tired of bloggers who can’t have or don’t have children and simply demand the removal of these kids from their biological mother. I mean imagine tearing these siblings apart from each other because this dude in L.A
says so!! Yes the mother will have a hard time, but the bond these children will develop is priceless. So far she has done so well with all her other 6 children. She strikes me as a smart, intelligent yet a bit on the margin of the society. Marginalized maybe because of her last name Suleman. We are prepared to help a traditional christian family like the Duggars-17 kids and counting. But god bid not a Suleman.
but that is not a crime.

BrendaM February 21, 2009, 10:45 PM

I am sick and tired of hearing how the women on welfare should not only lose the check, but should lose their children also. My God, doesn’t anyone see that most of those women get a check because of deadbeat dads? The guys that talk a girl into giving up her virginity than skipping out because they are not grown up. Yea, let’s feed these poor women to the sharks of a dysfunct society!!!!!

Allforthekids February 22, 2009, 1:30 PM

I DON’T UNDERSTAND. SHE HAS NO JOB OR MONEY, YET SHE GETS PLASTIC SURGERY AND HER NAILS DONE. SHE JUST WAN’T TO BE LIKE JON AND KATE PLUS 8.

Danielle February 23, 2009, 4:10 AM

Facts about California Welfare. It is called Temporary Assistance to Needy Families TANF. And it is TEMPORARY. There is a 5 (FIVE) year LIFETIME time clock on which a person can collect TANF. After you have collected TANF (Cash Aid) for 5 years you are cut off. No more TANF, EVER. Also, there is a limit on future children. Your monthly allotment is not increased for each additional child. If you have more children on TANF, they do NOT give you more money. You have to make do with your original amount. And only for 5 years, then you can never collect again. In California, you are fingerprinted, and photographed, this helps prevent fraud, and collecting in another county under another name. I know this from personal experience. Once upon a time ago, I was a single mother with 3 children.

Someone posted earlier that there should be rules about more children on welfare, you see there are. At least in California. There are also rules on how long you can collect. During the 1990’s California’s Welfare System went through some major changes, the government called it Welfare Reform.

I hope this sets all those stuck on the Welfare Issues minds to rest. Even if she is on Welfare, it won’t be for long, and it certainly won’t include additional money for the extra 8 children.

Anonymous February 23, 2009, 5:35 AM

The welfare money should be taken away for one fact alone… she used the previous welfare money to pay for her ivf… if she is using the money for other things than feeding her children, which yes I agree they will all be neglected because a single person cannot physicaly care for that many children and go to school full time like she claims she is planning on, as taxpayers we should not have to pay for her ivf. She is not the only person struggling. I am struggling to pay my bills why am I paying for hers too?!

~Outraged

Victoria February 23, 2009, 11:17 AM

Unless a professional psychiatrist/pyschologist/or prescribing doctor can deem her mentally unstable, she ends up homeless, abuses or neglects one or man of her children, there is no legal reason to remove her children from her home. Does she need help? yes. Will she get help? you know it. So until something drastic happnes don’t expect her to lose her children. That’s just the way it works…

Anonymous February 24, 2009, 3:12 AM

If we’re being realistic we can be pretty sure they won’t take these children from there mother. However I do think that all money made off of anything involving them(photos, interviews, donations, etc.)should be put in a trust for the care of all 14 children & handled by a court appointed guardian.I don’t think that Nadya should handle any of it.Hopefully that would prevent her using it for her sick obsessions.

brenda marr February 24, 2009, 3:31 PM

i really hope that people will help nadya. i dont think that she planned on having 8 babies.!!!!she isnt the only person who is on welfare..there are MANY>>i would love to help her with the babies..nadyas mother [hopefully] may change her mind and help her daughter..

grannie February 24, 2009, 7:29 PM

the women is a mess, do you honestly think that she should have anything to do with 8 newborns, she could not even handle her 6 other children her parents were taking care of them, and I don’t live in a glass house nor am I judging her, I care less about here I am concerned about those newborn babies that are going to be impossible for her and her parents to care for, step outside of your bubble and look at the reality of her situation. Even if she planned these births had a huge house she still would be overwhelmed in a matter of hours. And that is considering she were sane, she has lied non-stop since she started speaking not only to the press but to her parents and her sperm donor. If those babies are going to get any chance of having a somewhat normal start at life they need to be taken away and given up for adoption, hopefully all together, I would hate to see them split up

TAMARA2 February 24, 2009, 9:27 PM

I HAVE NO PITY FOR THIS WOMAN. SHE HAD KIDS FOR MONEY AND THAT IS VERY CLEAR.THESE KIDS ARE NOT BETTER OFF WITH HER,AND THAT IS A FACT. THEY WILL HAVE ONE MESSED UP LIFE, AND WHAT IS SHE TEACHING THEM? HOW TO SCAM THE GOVERNMENT, BE LAZY, LIVE OFF WELFARE FOR A LIVING , LIE FOR DISIBILITY,SPEND THE KIDS MONEY ON HER FACE AND NOTHING FOR HER PARENTS WHO PUT A ROOF OVER HER HEAD. WHAT AN EGO SHE HAS, EVERYBODY..OWES HER A LIVING.. NOT ONLY SHOULD THEY TAKE THE CHILDREN, AN EXAMPLE OF HOW NOT TO LIVE LIKE A GREEDY BUM SHOULD BE MADE OF HER. HARD WORKING PEOPLE ARE IRATE OVER THIS.

Kar February 25, 2009, 5:19 AM

All 14 children should be removed from this dysfunctional family. I believe this was a plan for all to get free homes, vehicles and the mom, babies, and grandma would live happily ever after on donations, with grandma caring for the children while gets all the plastic surgery she wants.

Stephanie February 25, 2009, 10:18 AM

Didnt she say in her interview that each of her previous children was by inplanting six eggs each time although she only had one child.. I think this was what she thought would happen and everyone should look into their own lives and see what they are doing sooooo perfect and then start giving her advice. Leave the poor woman alone if you aren’t willing to help like God would want then just stay out of her life!!!!!!!!

TAMARA2 February 26, 2009, 1:07 PM

This woman is a cheat, selfcentered, ego manic, thats needs mental help and who cares nothing about the kids she already has at home . Now she wants to take 8 more there on top of it? This country does NOT owe her a living…If she loved those kids she would never have put them all in this mess , expecting every one to come to her aid , just because her needs come first. now she wants a palace and army of free voulenteers to help so she can shop, get nails done , go on interviews, and get face work. NO PITY HERE

Anonymous February 26, 2009, 6:00 PM

I think if you are already on welfare and you have more kids, your money should be reduced. That way, no more money, no more welfare kids.

nbb February 27, 2009, 3:04 PM

Enough is enough…I do not condone removing children from their home but think of these 8 children. At 53 years of age, I would be willing to adopt one or two of these children. My family and I can give them what they need. I am truly concerned about the welfare of these children, as are many Americans.
Adoption for these beautiful 8 children is the only answer.

Aims February 27, 2009, 4:50 PM

This woman makes me sick. She didn’t think of the future of these babies. She can not care for the 6 she has already. I think she should give the eight babies up for adoption to people who would love and support them, and not be forced into a family where the mother is clearly messed up and can’t possibly care for 14 babies.


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