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Taking Octuplets Away Not the Answer!

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Taking Nadya's kids away is not the answer, says one mom.
nadya suleman touching baby

Jackie: I think by now we've all read enough about the octuplets mom. I've had it just as much as the next mom. But there's one thing keeps getting mentioned that I just can't let go.

"They should take those kids away."

Listen, I get it. Nadya Suleman is a bucket overflowing with all kinds of crazy. She has some serious emotional issues and is in desperate need of help -- of the therapist and nanny kind.

But should she really lose her kids?

I'm sure some just say it flippantly and don't necessarily believe it. But others are seriously calling for the removal of her 14 children. And that just makes me sad.

"What about her finances? She's on welfare!"

Are California taxpayers footing the bill? Yes. And being from the bankrupt Golden State, that ticks me off too. But there are millions of people all over this country receiving some sort of financial assistance -- disablity, welfare, you name it. And many of those families continue to have kids (gasp!). The difference is, they have them one at a time, falling under the radar of the rest of the country. There's nobody outside their door (or on national television) calling to have their kids ripped from them.

"She couldn't possibly give them all the love they need."

If you are a person who has uttered the above statement, come closer so I can slap you. Have we forgotten that in countless cultures around the world, it is customary for big families to all co-exist under one roof? Are we going to seek out all of them and pull them apart, just because it doesn't seem to fit what we think is 'normal'? Being my mother's eleventh child, I can honestly say that I couldn't have been loved any more than I was growing up. Was it chaos? Hell, yeah. But it was my chaos. They're my family -- my lifeline. Not a day went by that I didn't know my parents, brothers and sisters would do anything for me -- they still would. But how would you feel if you knew sometimes I felt sorry for you, growing up with one sibling. Looks pretty lonely from this angle.

"But have you seen her house? What a mess!"

Yeah, I get it... she's a slob. I saw the pictures, too. But I'd be the first mom to start worrying if families were torn apart every time the house was out of control... or children weren't given enough attention... or Mommy was acting a little nuts. Damn, CPS would be on their way to my house right now. What do you think is happening here while I write this post?

Unless in danger of abuse -- emotional, physical or mental, children belong with their mother. Period. And we, as a society, should do everything in our power to help families stay together, supporting them in any way possible.

Being an adoptive mother myself, I am thankful every day that I get to raise my daughter. But I wish it were different. Raising Lucy is Plan B. It doesn't mean I don't love her like she came from my own flesh and bones -- oh my God, I do. It just means Plan A would've been that her birth mother be in better health with enough support and resources to care for her. Plan A would be that my daughter wouldn't grow up feeling such a tremendous loss, wondering if her biological mother really loved her.

So before get on your high horse and judge, take a good long look at your own life.

It should be easy to spot from that glass house you're living in.

Want more? Connect with Jackie in the Momlogic community.

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117 comments so far | Post a comment now
TLS February 27, 2009, 5:25 PM

Well, Brenda…your grandma didn’t have 8 premature newborns all at once with six other children, three of whom were disabled. I promse you she didn’t have 14 children under the age of seven all at one time. And she had a husband who provided for her financially. This isn’t about any of the following:
1) Single parenting
2) Large families
3) The state of the economy

This is about a total lack of personal responsibility to the degree that this woman’s selfish choices endanger all her children’s well-being. Her actions clearly indicate depraved indifference, and probably mental illness. The taxpayers shouldn’t have to support this atrocity.

Get the kids, all of them to someone who can care for them. Loving them a whole bunch while they starve to death in filth isn’t really helpful in the long run.

Get this woman into psychiatric care and get an injunction to prevent her having more kids.

Find that doctor, yank his license, and fine him the total cost of the octuplets medical care. He may like that better than being jailed for criminal negligence.

Anonymous February 27, 2009, 5:57 PM

I agree with Gio. Fix the welfare system. If she gets government assistance for having more kids than she could afford we need to send alot more checks to more parents. It’s not like the governments broke from giving to many handouts.

Anonymous February 27, 2009, 6:00 PM

One of those children has ADHD as a disability. When did people start getting assistance for an Attention Span Disorder?

Denise B. February 27, 2009, 6:00 PM

I think the state should prosecute Nadya Suleman for her abuse of the system. Claiming several hundred thousand dollars in spurious disability should send her to jail for a few years, during which time CPS can take those kids of grandmas hands.

WTF?!? February 27, 2009, 6:05 PM

Are you kidding me?!?

This is not a bleeding heart issue. This is a moral, social, economic, bioethical, and legal issue that has far more ramifications than just “poor little Octomom and her 14 children.” Her little stunt involves and burdens all U.S. citizens because she could open the doors for more idiots to do the same, if they are not doing so already!

TAKING ALL 14 CHILDREN AWAY NOW and place them in proper homes is the ONLY SOLUTION. She is a very sick person who needs psychiatric help - she is a danger onto herself, her family, and society.

Do you even think she considered anyone’s best interest but her own when she elected to be impregnated with 6 viable embryos, knowing the dire consequences of her decision?

We all know the answer to that one.

felisha February 27, 2009, 6:49 PM

I agree. everyone is saying take them away our taxes have to pay for it. Either way everyones taxes will pay to take care of those kids. IF they are taken the government will have to pay foster families and agencies to care for them. So let think about its cheaper for her to keep them..She loves her kids there is no need to take them ..We need to get over waht she did because its done. We can not take it back. She needs Help and someone needs to step in and help….

Krammy February 27, 2009, 7:20 PM

It is not anyones God damn business what she did no one knows whats in her head whether or not she does have this sick “problem”. She had a problem with her reproductive organs saved her eggs and then decided to use them like she said you either use them or you get ridd of them. Now those of you who are sick in the head would get rid of them (make them become a fetus then kill it) that is how they get rid of them. Sell them because you wackos like to know that somewhere in this world you have a baby but dont know them at all give up your child not knowing if your baby is getting beat up or molested if any of you can do this go ahead do it to your own but dont suggest this to anyone else live with your own sick ideas and no concience Black hearts all of you she wants money to take care of her kids let her do it and to be on welfare requires you to have a job in order to collect brush up on your world news and not your celebrity if she so sickens you stop reading about her you dont care if you did you wouldnt want 14 brother and sisters living apart from eachother or from their family (MOM Dad and Grandparents) John and Kate + 8 are doing fine with their reality show and the $$$$’s they are making or would you rather the drug abousers and sexaholics on your tv wich you support when you watch for your children to watch rather than a woman taking care of her family where in your face she can prove herself to the world that she is responsible whether she wants to be or not since the world will be watching her and her babies.. and the other 3 older children she has only one has a real sickness (AUTISM) ADHD is NOT A SICKNESS children grow out of it and tend to be alot smarter than others, as for the child with a speach delay that child will over come it as they grow older.

liza February 27, 2009, 7:22 PM

Jackie u r so right, I think the whole of America that is criticizing this lady needs to hear yr words over n over till they get it in their brains

mom3boyz February 27, 2009, 10:14 PM

This is a sad situation. I believe we should go back to the doctor who performed this procedure on this unstable woman. Let him provide the welfare and upkeep for these children. He lacked the professionalism to say “NO” to this woman and opted for the money and publicity this pregnacy has brought. I believe there are people out there who would be willing to take all 8 of those babies and give them the loving care and healthy inviroment they will need to grow up in a “normal” home. I work in education and there will be learning diabilities these children will have because of their low birth weights. Theirs brains have not had the developement it needs to grow properly. Octomom is a prime example of the selfishness our society has come to, when one’s own wants are put before anyone or anything else. Every day I see how children yearn for a mom/dad home life, a structured life with boundries. This family will never have that chance, and society will pay for the lack of her priorities.

Chris February 28, 2009, 12:42 AM

Near as I can tell, Octomom is a lazy person who was hoping by going down the multiple birth road she would be able to be a stay at home mom while large companies d her with everything she needed for her children. What other reason could you possibly have for not buying ONE item you needed to provide care for an infant? No crib, no formula, no diapers ready to go. And why not? She was hoping BABIES R US would back a truck up to the house and start dumping the supplies she needed right inside.

I would love to have a large family. Fortunately, I realize that isn’t feasible for me and I need to have only the number of children I support. We are fortunate to live in a society that allows us the freedom to have as many children as we like, but with that privilege comes great responsibility, and at this point, Nadya isn’t demonstrating that responsibility.

If I am a person who truly cares for my children and who desires to be with them, I take the very generous offer provided by the Angels in Waiting people. It is the best offer she is going to get.

Nadya needs to wake up about this student load issue also. She’s not IN school, why is she receiving student loans? When and if the time comes for her to return to school, how will she pay for it if she’s used her student loan money to support her herd during this time?

Again, if Nadya truly had her children’s best interest at heart, she would have taken then offer that allowed her to care for them. As it is now, she’s chosen not to do so. She is banking on the kindness of strangers and the flawed government assistance systems to allow her to continue living her charmed life. The babies should be taken now before she truly does something that can be damaging and before her bill becomes any larger. Haven’t we let this manic state of hers go on long enough?

crystal March 1, 2009, 1:02 AM

Finally someone is agreeing with me. What has the world come to? They want to take her flesh and blood from her. I wonder how they would feel if someone wanted to take their kids away. You know their houses would be a mess too if they had 8 babies in their belly and was in the hospital for months. I could barely bend over to pick up after my kids mess with one in my belly. Give her a break and these people need to judge themselves not her.

Jennifer March 3, 2009, 5:58 AM

I can’t even read most of these comments as judgments are being thrown left & right. I’m sorry, but until she does something that causes harm to these children, I’ll let God take care of the judgments. NO ONE here knows her situation entirely and until you do; who are you to judge? Those babies are here for a reason.

Ms. Nursie March 4, 2009, 2:11 PM

I agree with C. Just because Nadya is struggling and decided to have way more kids than she could afford doesn’t mean she should have the kids taken…the kids haven’t been beaten or abused or whatever. With the way the economy is right now millions of people are struggling and wondering how they are going to support their kids/family, but people make it work, they find a way. It’s hard to raise 1 kid so yes it’ll be 20 times harder with 14 kids, but so what it’s her family. And yes there are a ton of other people on welfare that milk the system but nobody gets on their case…people are so quick to cast the first stone when they think they know something or don’t even know the story at all.

brenda March 6, 2009, 10:01 PM

PLEASE have a heart for nayda.. there are plenty of people on welfare who also keep having babies to get more money.i am sure she can be a wonderful mom for all of her children..if i lived close to her ,i would love to help with all of the kids…she has alot to think about and she shouldnt have to worry that the state will take her babies..the babies should be with their mom..

Anonymous March 7, 2009, 12:47 AM

wow….sue from 2/19 you are rediculus…i am not on welfare but i tottaly disagree with you..that is a crazy thought

Celeste March 8, 2009, 8:43 PM

Nadya Suleman is a narcissist and a hoarder of the worst kind. It’s ALWAYS all about her. She’s delusional and irresponsible. The children should not be held hostage to her mental illness. It’s a horrible situation that we should ensure this never happens again. The doctor needs to do jail time. But right now it should be about what’s best for these innocent children and no one else.

-Tina March 12, 2009, 7:40 PM

I feel sorry for the kids. The other day, I was wondering if polygamy should be legalized (you know: each father has 25-64 children). My best friend told me, “How would you like to be 1 of 25 kids? It’s like a cattle feedlot.”

I must admit, she was right.

The other day, I met a Malaysian who said his mother had 17 kids. I asked him if he enjoyed such a big family. He said most all the kids left home by age 16 because there were just too many kids and not enough of “mom” to go around. He said it was a hard childhood.

I feel sorry for these 14 babies.

Someone stated that Nadya seems like a sociopath. They gave a sociopath’s description:

Manipulative,Conning,Glibness and Superficial Charm. Thinks their self-serving behavior is permissible and they have entitlements;their every wish is to be granted.Psycopathic Lying. Unrealistic Plan and Lifestyle. In Denial!!!!! Promises for future are made with no intent of keeping. Poor work habits. Image changes and stories change. Doesn’t sees others as people, sees them as opportunities. Thinks end always justifies their means;at any cost. Ungenuine. Irresponsible. Unreliable. Causes devastation, doesn’t accept blame. Blames others for their actions. Parasitic. Promises for future not kept. Poor work habits. Image changes. Story changes.

Sounds like her. I feel sorry for the kids.

Anonymous March 18, 2009, 3:30 AM

People need to remember that this is the United States. Although it may well be irresponsible to have this many children, and people may think she is “using” the children to cope with her own emotional issues, she has every right. No one knows this woman’s heart nor can they read her mind. It’s obvious that these children are going to require a lot of care and monetary assistance, but has anyone stopped to think that Nadya truely loves them? In other countries, cultures, and in past generations there have been several successful families with 14 or even more children. The only reason people should have reason to take these children from their mother is if she was causing them harm. People should have empathy for her and give support (even if it’s just a prayer that a higher power helps to meet their needs), not judgement.

Anonymous March 18, 2009, 3:42 AM

People need to remember that this is the United States. Although it may well be irresponsible to have this many children, and people may think she is “using” the children to cope with her own emotional issues, she has every right. No one knows this woman’s heart nor can they read her mind. It’s obvious that these children are going to require a lot of care and monetary assistance, but has anyone stopped to think that Nadya truely loves them? In other countries, cultures, and in past generations there have been several successful families with 14 or even more children. The only reason people should have reason to take these children from their mother is if she was causing them harm. People should have empathy for her and give support (even if it’s just a prayer that a higher power helps to meet their needs), not judgement.

ally March 23, 2009, 8:00 PM

i dont think its right to take the babies away from her, its not me to judge her by her getting fetal implanting again . its all these talk shows like et and the insider and tmz that keep this story going presonally im tired of it , its time to move on but since everyone is obsessed with it its keeps these kinds of shows in jobs also i think that if she gets a reality show why not take all the reality shows off the air like jon and kate and the duggars arent they exploiting their kids to dont they get paid for doing their shows

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