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Taking Octuplets Away Not the Answer!

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Taking Nadya's kids away is not the answer, says one mom.
nadya suleman touching baby

Jackie: I think by now we've all read enough about the octuplets mom. I've had it just as much as the next mom. But there's one thing keeps getting mentioned that I just can't let go.

"They should take those kids away."

Listen, I get it. Nadya Suleman is a bucket overflowing with all kinds of crazy. She has some serious emotional issues and is in desperate need of help -- of the therapist and nanny kind.

But should she really lose her kids?

I'm sure some just say it flippantly and don't necessarily believe it. But others are seriously calling for the removal of her 14 children. And that just makes me sad.

"What about her finances? She's on welfare!"

Are California taxpayers footing the bill? Yes. And being from the bankrupt Golden State, that ticks me off too. But there are millions of people all over this country receiving some sort of financial assistance -- disablity, welfare, you name it. And many of those families continue to have kids (gasp!). The difference is, they have them one at a time, falling under the radar of the rest of the country. There's nobody outside their door (or on national television) calling to have their kids ripped from them.

"She couldn't possibly give them all the love they need."

If you are a person who has uttered the above statement, come closer so I can slap you. Have we forgotten that in countless cultures around the world, it is customary for big families to all co-exist under one roof? Are we going to seek out all of them and pull them apart, just because it doesn't seem to fit what we think is 'normal'? Being my mother's eleventh child, I can honestly say that I couldn't have been loved any more than I was growing up. Was it chaos? Hell, yeah. But it was my chaos. They're my family -- my lifeline. Not a day went by that I didn't know my parents, brothers and sisters would do anything for me -- they still would. But how would you feel if you knew sometimes I felt sorry for you, growing up with one sibling. Looks pretty lonely from this angle.

"But have you seen her house? What a mess!"

Yeah, I get it... she's a slob. I saw the pictures, too. But I'd be the first mom to start worrying if families were torn apart every time the house was out of control... or children weren't given enough attention... or Mommy was acting a little nuts. Damn, CPS would be on their way to my house right now. What do you think is happening here while I write this post?

Unless in danger of abuse -- emotional, physical or mental, children belong with their mother. Period. And we, as a society, should do everything in our power to help families stay together, supporting them in any way possible.

Being an adoptive mother myself, I am thankful every day that I get to raise my daughter. But I wish it were different. Raising Lucy is Plan B. It doesn't mean I don't love her like she came from my own flesh and bones -- oh my God, I do. It just means Plan A would've been that her birth mother be in better health with enough support and resources to care for her. Plan A would be that my daughter wouldn't grow up feeling such a tremendous loss, wondering if her biological mother really loved her.

So before get on your high horse and judge, take a good long look at your own life.

It should be easy to spot from that glass house you're living in.


Want more? Connect with Jackie in the Momlogic community.


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117 comments so far | Post a comment now
Heiddi March 23, 2009, 11:15 PM

Hi Jackie,

I liked the fact that you stick up for Nadya despite all of the challenges. But as a foster care therapist I have to say that abuse is not the only reason children end up in care. There is the issue of neglect. And I think people here are so upset because she as one person alone cannot give her 14 children the love, care and nurturing that is needed to raise them. Not to mention that one of her children has ADHD and another is a special needs child that needs a wheelchair. If she cannot take proper care of these children and also rejects the help of people who can assist her, then she should not have them for their own safety. Yes as moms, we (myself included) have our bad days (ie messy house, stress, etc.). But being a single, unemployed woman with 14 kids under the age of 8 is a really difficult situation that warrants someone stepping in to help. These kids are here and they need the best care possible and I don’t think Nadya can do it all alone. Sometimes one or two or three alone are difficult. But, 14? We still have no idea how the octuplets will develop over the next few years.

OnePointOfView March 24, 2009, 2:42 AM

It is upseting that anyone is defending this womans decision to have children to earn a living. Judging no just being real. Child labor is against the law and this is no different. She deliberately set out to have these children to make a quick buck not because she loved them not because she wanted a big family. She wanted to beat Jon & Kate plus 8. Thats all. There was no thought as to what was best for the children so all you people who think oh no don’t judge you obviously have not thought about what these children have to deal with on a daily basis. I have 3 special needs kids and its no picnic. I am on my feet from the time I wake until if I am lucky midnight when I can go to sleep. I took the time to do this because I am just outraged at some of the comments about poor octomom. No no no poor babies who have to be raised by someone who will be pimping them to make money. Yes big families are a blessing and I wish I had a bigger house so I could adopt more children I have always wanted to adopt children a lot of children not just the three I was blessed to get. But financially I cannot do it. I wish someone would offer good hearted people money and houses to be able to provide homes for all the orphands that are waiting for a mommy. Why didn’t she adopt a few kids if she really wanted to do something good for this world save a child from an orphanage. That is where our hearts should be. Not offering these women millions to have a bunch of kids at once. What is this world coming to. We should learn from Angelena. She adopted before she gave birth her heart is in the right place. All the money she makes from interviews and pictures regarding her children she donates. That is a real woman. Not the octomom she is greedy and selfish. Not having kids you cannot afford is respectful and admired. Oh yeah and by the way there are way more forms of abuse then only physical. Just because the kids have not been beaten does not mean they have not been abused no one lives with them so no one really knows what really has been going on behind closed doors. So we don’t know if there has been any form of abuse yet. Oh yeah and by the way I don’t think a concert is the right place for a baby but no I would not have called social services but you really should reconsider where you take your child. Because everyone knows there are always pot smokers at concerts and that is not good for especially a child.

Joi C. March 24, 2009, 4:32 PM

Jackie I just want to say, true enough families all over America are on welfare or some type of assistance from gov’t,but when I person purposely has mass amounts of kids at once just to receive money and donations from the public, trying to get TV reality shows something there is very wrong. Nadya Suleman should lose her children until she can prove she can financially and emotionally care for them. If she can’t show this she needs to lose them. I have 1 biologic child and 4 step children, I know what is feels like to have a house full of kids. It is expensive, noisey, and very stressful, this woman is not even mentally capabale of caring for these kids let alone financially. Her plan all along was to become famous for having a mass smount of kids and that is simply wrong.

Anonymous March 24, 2009, 6:47 PM

Any woman who intentionally has 8 babies at a time, with 6 other children (some of whom are disabled) is sunfit to be a mother to any of them. This is wrong on so many levels. There are laws for day care providers on how many children under the age of 2 they can care for at one time - TWO!!!! If for no other reason - these children would not be physically safe once they become toddlers. And the woman who’s grandmother had 14 children - they weren’t all born at once! My grandmother had nine children - but the older ones helped care for the younger ones. This whole situation makes me sick to my stomach!

debbie March 28, 2009, 8:36 AM

I agree with most the commits made here. OCTOMOM had the free right to have more children. Should she? prob not but who am I to tell her that. I came from a large family and am now a single mother of four (teens). I enjoy every minute with my children and would love to have more.. the difference i have a good job, a big house, support system, oh and sanity. I think its no question that the babies should reasonably not be here but they are and we as a community need to teach her to provide for them instead of giving hand outs.

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e May 6, 2009, 11:10 AM

to read some of this unheartful statement on here …if some of you who hating on octomom realize that no matter how emotional or psychotic a person can be she loved and care for her kids ..she did not know that she would get 8 kids …tention starts to arise when these kids were born and to think anyone gave the family privacy..
no…there are woman out there having 8 or more kids and usually be the mom and dad alone do we say we take there kids away to cause they dont seem to fit to take care of 8 kids ..she wanted a big family and i think we all should leave th lady to live her life with her children it made a difference if she was neglected them since birth much less if she was not taking care of her self while she was pregnant..yea tax payers money is use to raise this family but there are worst things out there that the same tax payers money are used for and not even for the good …have heart people at least you know your money is helping out families who cant help them selves.as you see this economy is hard and is getting harder each day im not saying that people should live on welfare for the rest of their lives but this woman just have her kids at least let her enjoy the special moments with them than have to worry about people bad comments all of this would lead to emotional depression and remember the children’s safety.and to the point y’all did not even gave the woman the chance to see how she would manage to raise her children ..no body is perfect and every woman out there who have kids ..i kno y’all sayin that y’all can do better job being a mom but i bet y’all made alot of mistakes with y’all child or children ..so gave the woman a break …gave her the chance to prove that she is a good mom and i believe she is a good mom bad comments leave people to distress so gave her the space she need and these babies also ..and y’all should know better that babies can feel when there is a negative environment and y’all aint making it better for them ….

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