Radical Mommy: Yesterday when I was leaving the house, I noticed dog poop in the yard. Rather than head back into the house to get a bag, I actually considered picking it up with my hands and throwing it in the bin. That made me wonder: "Who the hell have I become?"
It used to be, back in the day, that I was fastidious about everything. I dressed nicely to go to work, I regularly got manicures and pedicures, and the razor was my friend. But things are different now ... VERY different.
I used to wash my hair every day. Now, I wet it once or twice a week and I recently went for a record-breaking 16 days (yes, that's over two weeks) without water touching it. In case you're not familiar with being so dirty, unwashed hair starts to hurt after about six days. By day 10, it smells like French fries. By the end of week two, grease actually comes off on your hands when you touch it. GROSS.
But, hey, I had gotten it blown out straight and I wanted it to last as long as possible. Mission accomplished.
I used to bathe every day. Now, I sometimes don't bathe from Friday to Monday. And to be perfectly honest, If I wasn't so concerned about having a clean hoo-ha, then I probably wouldn't shower during the week either. There's not much more I can say about that. Except, GROSS.
I used to have perfectly manicured fingers and toes. Now my feet look like homeless person feet. They're so bad that my friend even came up with the term BFS (battered foot syndrome) to describe them. GROSS.
I used to like to eat out at nice restaurants. Now, I can't be bothered to haul my butt out of the house so I stay home and I eat standing up in front of the fridge. Normally it's olives and peanut butter out of a jar -- both eaten using my fingers. And I have no problem dropping something on the floor, picking it up, picking off the dog hair and eating it. GROSS.
I used to shave my legs every day or get them waxed once a month. Now, I have a broken, rusty razor sitting in the shower that hasn't touched my legs in about two months. The only reason I shave my underarms every day is because I don't want anyone at the gym to see big bushes of hair when I wear a tank top. Luckily I have very light hair so it doesn't show so much, but you can definitely feel it -- just ask my poor husband. GROSS
I used to wear matching pajamas to bed. Now, I sometimes wear the same shirt I wore all day to bed or I will wear the shirt/tank top I slept in during the day. GROSS.
Then there's the ugly dog poop "incident." I, actually, for a moment, thought it was a good idea (and a time saver) to pick up dog poop with my hands and throw it directly into the trash can. My reasoning behind this? Well, it didn't look "fresh" and it was cold out so I thought I might be able to just whisk it up without having leftovers on my hand. I quickly nixed the idea, but it really did make me start to think, "Man, how times have changed!" So what exactly did I do with the poop? I left it. GROSS.
Are you as gross as I am? If so, tell me all about it -- I want to hear from my fellow dirty birds!
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