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My Friend's Husband is Cheating on Her!

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I can't believe it, I found out my BFF's husband is cheating on her. Should I tell her? Well ...

Friendship Court Judge Leslie Adler weighs in on every friend's worst nightmare. Do you tell your friend that their husband is cheating ... and risk her turning on you? Or do you keep it to yourself and risk her finding out that you knew and turning on you anyway? Here's what Leslie has to say about the cheating dilemma:

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21 comments so far | Post a comment now
Sarah  February 27, 2009, 10:45 AM

I think ..yes…she should always be told. But be READY to back up the accusation with FACTS. Have some proof such as …. caught on tape? lol…

Anonymous February 27, 2009, 11:18 AM

If you’re a real friend to this person you will tell her.

Barri February 27, 2009, 11:27 AM

I think it’s best to stay out of other people’s ‘affairs’— maybe it’s an open marriage and agreed upon? maybe she knows and would only be embarrassed if her friends found out?

Marge February 27, 2009, 1:01 PM

graet video….what else can we see you in? BTW, love the hair!

Dee February 27, 2009, 1:19 PM

You can say “I think your husband might be cheating but I am not sure. You might want to look into it.”

deena February 27, 2009, 2:07 PM

great advice!!

Sammi February 27, 2009, 2:46 PM

loved your advice! great video!

Nancy February 27, 2009, 4:14 PM

I was in a situation where my sister’s husband kept making the moves on me and also made some crude sexual comments in the process and I threatened to tell her and I never did, but to this day I wish I would have but I know I would have lost my sister in the process. I wanted to tell her she was married to a slime ball, but kept my mouth shut.

maeby February 27, 2009, 5:33 PM

nope, i wouldnt say he was cheating on her to her face. I would say “oh hey i saw bob at so and so with some lady. is his sister in town?”

Lori February 27, 2009, 6:41 PM

Seinfeld’s got nothing on you!!
Keep at it! Loved your advice.

Fran February 27, 2009, 7:36 PM

I agree that she should never say anything directly to her friend. She could definitely risk losing the friend forever. Maybe simply asking leading questions could alert her friend to her husband’s straying.

josie February 27, 2009, 8:51 PM

cheaters get bit in the end

MAGGIE SILVER February 27, 2009, 10:45 PM


MMZ February 27, 2009, 11:11 PM

You are so correct in everything you say! It is so difficult. But if it were happening to you, wouldn’t you like your friend to get involved, somehow, delicately? You are right on, Leslie!

c February 28, 2009, 12:47 PM

My husband cheated on me… with my best friend. It lasted two years, and later I found out that TWO of our mutual friends knew (one caught them kissing once and he told the other friend) and they had decided not to “butt in.” Lame excuse!

I don’t talk to those people now. How could they NOT tell me?! I got pregnant and had a second baby, all while they were cheating. And to think that someone could have told me two years ago and saved me a lot of additional heartache makes my blood boil.

A friend tells her friend when she is being abused and manipulated. Other wise, what’s a friend for?

bob March 1, 2009, 1:58 PM

love your piece……take pride in the fact that seinfeld has to copy you…..keep up the good work

bobby March 1, 2009, 1:59 PM

lovbe your piece…..and take pride in the fact seinfeld has to copy you….keep up the good work

hoosiermama March 3, 2009, 10:16 AM

What a difficult situation. I just told my best friend that her husband has been cheating on her and had some proof but no physical proof just obvious. She believes me but is in denial and I feel that I should have kept my mouth shut and led her away from him. I feel horrible and guilty and was just looking out for her. Now I feel that she doesn’t believe me and am worried that our friendship will be in jeopardy although I was trying to protect her. I don’t know what is going to happen but I am going to stand by her no matter what. I will never tell her the other times he had cheated on her when he was out of town that would hurt her too much and I don’t have physical proof. I just was fed up with him doing her wrong. How disgusting.

Thomas March 24, 2009, 4:25 PM

I found out my wife was on Ashley Madison and a few other sites to. We are now divorced. When you are married and have children who gets hurt evry one why are people so selfish you have a responsibility to work on your marrage .Yes it will probably never be perfect but thats called give and take.And yes i pay child support a 1/4 of what i make each month but the loss of the other 3/4 hurts my children, But i do the best that i can for them and always will. For they are my children. so if any of the mums on here ever think of cheating THINK LONG AND HARD. GRASS NOT ALWAYS GREENER ON OTHER SIDE.And children do get hurt.

Inyfkcdh June 23, 2009, 11:40 PM

owNMic comment5 ,

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