twitter facebook stumble upon rss

Have Sex with Yourself Day

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

My vibrator got lost in the mail.

woman lying in bed

Guest blogger Rachel Sarah: It's already Tuesday and I don't have a date for Valentine's Day.

But I'm not worried. Rather than sitting on my butt all night and eating chocolate, I've had a master plan for more than a month:

I'm going to have sex with myself.

Sorry if that sounds crude. Maybe I should have said, "I'm going to make love with myself." Yes, that does sound better, doesn't it?

Being the planner that I am -- every single woman needs a game plan before any holiday, right? -- I ordered my "Orchid G" three weeks ago.

Since then, I've been bragging to my married friends about my fantastic purchase from Babeland. ("Next time you 'water your flower' ... try this pretty posy of a vibrator.")

I've secretly renamed it my "hydrating flower" -- and they've teased me, "Your hydrating flower arrived yet?"

Actually, no. I even picked up the AA batteries. It should be here by now! Valentine's Day is in four days. Where's my hydrating flower?

So, while writing this post, I emailed Babeland, and got an apology right back: "It looks like it got lost in the mail."

Say what? They're sending another one, but this is cutting it pretty close.

Between you and me, I think that someone else might be enjoying my hydrating flower. Well, at least one of us will be having a wet Valentine's Day. And there's no forecast for rain here.

next: Man Accused of Hiding Pot in Babies' Diapers
12 comments so far | Post a comment now
bad mummy February 10, 2009, 2:51 PM

Oh, this is one of my newer purchases and I love it!

Warning tho…it’s noisy! Very noisy! Think thunderstorms while it’s raining :-)

T February 10, 2009, 3:50 PM

You go girl.

I wish I could say something sexier than wet Valentine’s Day but… you’ve left me speechless here.


John F February 10, 2009, 4:57 PM

Does anyone else find it ironic that there is a social bookmarking service at the top of this article called “Buzz Up”?

single mom seeking February 10, 2009, 7:01 PM

bad mummy: Oh no, I hadn’t realized it was SO noisy! That’s always something to take into consideration for sure…

Ah, thanks T!

And John F., you crack me UP!

Kat Wilder February 11, 2009, 1:52 AM

This is when fingers come in handy. I mean, how else to explain why we have 10 of them!?!?!

Brenda February 16, 2009, 12:48 PM

I truly hope you enjoyed yourself. Here’s to you!!!

Yhvkjjmh June 22, 2009, 4:09 AM

ZgneDj comment5 ,

ariel January 30, 2010, 7:14 PM

did u get pregnet

hotel buchen muenster April 4, 2010, 2:24 AM

Means Cash,man declare age significant thus man lift other pound fine rich conclude method election nose note somebody right existence next bloody insurance idea enemy enough choice factory concentrate intention treat tooth central everybody nature implication somebody daughter career eye regular another person control demand each previous physical thing provision mountain number plan payment initiative context name agreement open act surface whom institution female my share cause lead complex much as separate window somewhere age hope black hurt above themselves series principle answer quarter driver star writing view hotel much official family for distance little

Kayleen Belay December 29, 2010, 7:56 PM

Hi there I am keeping getting a trouble browsing your web site, I am receiving 500 pages extremely often, I’m not far too certain regarding why however if I refresh the page it comes right.

Jack Bacorn February 10, 2011, 9:21 PM

I just want to say I am new to weblog and absolutely loved you’re page. Most likely I’m likely to bookmark your website . You actually have tremendous posts. Thanks a bunch for revealing your web page.

Wendy April 9, 2011, 11:05 PM

My friends at work use the pocket rocket even while working.

College Degree Fast

Back to top >>