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I'm Big and Pregnant. What's Your Excuse?

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Under no circumstances do strangers need to make comments about the size of a pregnant woman. Regardless of what they see or what they think they see -- keep those opinions to yourself.

pregnant woman being gossiped about

Edmonds Mommy: During my second pregnancy, I have been amazed by what comes out of people's mouths. Just when I thought I've got this pregnancy thing down and am able to maintain some sort of style (which included locating the super cute flats, and wearing that Bella Band with my saucy jeans), some idiot nails me with a "Is it triplets?"or a "Wow, you're huuuge!" comment. The most shocking part is that these comments happen more at the grocery store than with people I actually know.

Since when do strangers get to comment on my body shape? Do I get to retort with commentary on their muffin top or lazy eye? No. I hold my tongue then sashay my way through the insolence, telling myself that this person is a moron and not to take anything to heart. It works the other way, too. Co-workers and acquaintances get wind of a pregnancy then wonder, "Why aren't you showing?," "You should be bigger by now," or "Is everything okay?" People! Where is the sensitivity? Being pregnant seems to give people the green light to forego their social graces and just let the comments fly ... whatever they may be. Luckily, I have a thick skin when it comes to this stuff. I do not lay awake thinking about the lady in the frozen foods section who asked, "Just how much have you put on?"

People. Check yourself, before you wreck yourself! Not only are you rude, you are dealing with someone who has more than her share of hormones pulsing through her body and literally could snap at any moment. Save the new mom-to-be the heartache. Save yourself the black eye and button that lip!

30 comments so far | Post a comment now
Christin February 11, 2009, 4:25 PM

I completely agree with this! My daughter is a year old now. I had multiple people touching my stomach, but I came up with a tactful way to get them to realize it was rude. I rubbed theirs right back! I also was walking through a Walmart when an employee asked me all these questions and gave me advice. I was only about 9 weeks along and was not showing! I wanted to ask her when she was due! How would she have known I was pregnant? I didn’t show until I was 4 months along!

Karen February 11, 2009, 5:40 PM

I only gained about 18 pounds, and I was huge. I didn’t mind when people said anything, and the only person who touched my belly was my best friend, and she asked first. I can’t believe people think it’s OK to touch strangers!

By the way, “check yourself before you wreck yourself” is an old Ice Cube lyric. Ali G is making a reference, most likely to that song.

Jasmine February 12, 2009, 12:13 AM

Im 7 months pregnant right now and pre-pregnancy I was pretty petite. All the weight I’ve gained is in my belly butt & boobs so I can’t even count the amount of times a day I get told im huge. I even had a co worker tell I shouldn’t eat bologna on a lunch break one day because its fattening. Its ridiculous, it got to the point where I asked my ob-gyn if my weight gain was normal. Fortunately she told me my weight gain is perfect people just don’t know to interact with pregnant and due to the fact that im short and was small pre-pregnancy people think im bigger than normal.

Jill February 13, 2009, 4:56 AM

I think it was Dave Barry who said that you should never say anything to a women about her being pregnant unless there is at that moment an actual baby coming out of her.
While that’s a bit extreme, I do think people need to learn to keep it to “congratulations” and then shut their pie holes. It’s nobody’s damn business how much weight you gain, and you know what, people? One single baby can make a belly stick out a LOT. That doesn’t mean it’s twins or triplets. So shut it.

Anon February 19, 2009, 6:29 PM

Worse than this I have had complete strangers make comment on my pregnant shape ….when I wasn’t even pregnant!!!I have had 3 kids, 2 c-sections and am an apple shape. I look quite slim apart from my stomach, but I have had complete strangers say things like, “you look glowing, when are you due?” and “you have 3 kids? And another on the way! ” It is soo hurtful, I would have a tummy tuck if I could afford it. So rude.

Ju February 24, 2009, 10:04 PM

When I became pregnant, my husband and I were stationed at El Paso, he was at Biggs Airfield and I was on Fort Bliss (they’re really the same place, but the airfield is considered a separate entity). We went to Edgar, WI for the baby shower and to see the family (hubby’s family, mine was in Korea). I thought I was a freakin’ whale and I couldn’t stand to look at myself in the mirror. And at the baby shower they did a game where each person got a ribbon to measure out to guess how big I was. As I was walking around the table to see who guessed right, the older women made comments about how SMALL I was. They said you couldn’t tell I was pregnant from the back. I was just shy of 6 months and looked like I swallowed a round watermelon. It depends where you go, I guess. In Wisconsin, I was tiny. If I had been in Korea … who knows? As for the rude questions, I just gave people a bright smile and a chirpy answer. No thick skin needed.

Melissa February 25, 2009, 4:46 PM

Omigosh! You hit the nail right on the head! I’ve been getting so pissed off because people feel they have the right to comment on my appearance. I hate the “Are you sure there aren’t twins in there?” comment I’ve gotten a million times. Just yesterday I had someone ask me how I’m feeling and then I told her I was having trouble sleeping and back pain and she went into this whole thing about how most people only feel that way in the third trimester and I’m in for it..blah blah blah…look how big she is!” I am by no means fat. Everything is all belly and my doctor says the baby and I are where we should be. I’m so sick and tired of all the unsolicited comments and advice I could kill the next person who says something. Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean you get a free pass to talk to me and give me your opinions! Step off before I go postal!

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