Guest blogger Mary Poppins: I hate to sound greedy, but if you want me to clean your house you are going to have to pay me more than $10 an hour. In fact, even if you did pay me more, I would still not do it because I'm also watching your three kids all under the age of 5.
I know this probably seems foreign to you since you are never home with all three of your kids at one time because they "overwhelm" you when you are on your own, but that's what I do. So please spare me the lecture that you and your husband are OCD germaphobes and you like things overly cleaned because guess what -- I'm NOT DOING IT! I refuse wholeheartedly to iron your 10-month-old daughter's socks so that they don't have wrinkles when we go for a walk. I also refuse to iron pajamas. That is just stupid.
When you take them to your firm's holiday party, yes. I will dress your girls in the taffeta dresses and I will iron your sons' dress shirts so they all look adorable. However, please refrain from explaining to me for the ten millionth time how you like YOUR clothes to be washed. Because again, I'M NOT DOING IT! You are seriously deranged if you think for one second I'm going to go into your and your husband's hamper and wash your clothes. Get a maid or learn how to sort your whites from your darks and press start.
You keep getting confused on what you hired me for, but don't worry, I'm paid to watch your kids, so that's all I'm doing.