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Is Your Husband Gay?

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Guest blogger Karrine Steffans: It's a strange question but I get it all the time: How can I tell if my husband is gay? The inquiry is simple enough but the answer is complicated. However, there are a few generalizations I'm willing to make.

two men holding hands

There are gay men who are married to and have families with women. Some of these women have no idea or have a hunch and choose to ignore it. Some are well aware of their husbands' duplicity and either choose to accept it or find it incredibly erotic and a welcome addition to their sexual habits.

Some of you may be wondering if your husbands' kinky fetishes border on homosexual tendencies.

There is a stark difference between an explorative man, who engages in new and exciting forms of pleasure with his wife, and a man who finds other men sexually attractive and cannot have or enjoy sex unless there is another man, or the thought of one, in the mix.

Still, it is not your man's willingness to let you do anything to, with and for him that makes him sexually duplicitous, but rather, when only a man or thoughts of a man peak his interest and satisfy him in coitus.

Want to get a "straight' answer out of your man? Suggest that you have no issues with two men being together, even as an extramarital activity, and then gauge his reaction. It would be nice to not have to beat around the bush, but if a gay man is married to a woman, obviously he already has an issue with honesty and straightforwardness.

Good luck if this is an issue in your life!

These topics and more can be found in The Vixen Manual: How to Find, Seduce and Keep the Man You Want, July 2009. Visit for more.

next: Beware of Your Kid's Teacher!
39 comments so far | Post a comment now
G. February 10, 2009, 9:11 PM

Good advice. I’ve had female friends ask me if a man doesn’t want “traditional” love-making, does that mean he’s gay. Not necessarily, but your tip seems like the perfect way to isolate the issue.

Anonymous February 16, 2009, 9:54 AM

Too bad Karrine Speaks about her own reality. As her current man has been undercover for a long time.

Anonymous February 16, 2009, 4:20 PM

“How to Find, Seduce and Keep the Man You Want.”
From a human toilet who is always screwed, left, denied and laughed at? Spare me Superhead. Spare us all!

Anonymous February 17, 2009, 5:53 PM

Thanks Karrine… your always good in my book!

Common Sense February 18, 2009, 10:26 AM

Again, women seeking relationship advice from a woman who cant keep a man. Spare us of your humility every man you have convicted of being gay was pure BS (i.e. big tigger) but your current bf likes for you too put anal probes in his butt (darius mccrary). If you’re married you’re already five steps ahead of this blog poster….now can someone direct me to a blog on this site with valid advice backed by good reasoning?!

sharay February 18, 2009, 2:48 PM

To Common Sense: Men actually have these things called prostate glands that give them a lot of pleasure once massaged. They probably get more pleasure from anal play then women do. Little FYI

getreal February 23, 2009, 11:52 AM

why is everyone so harsh? you have no idea how someone has lived their life as you were not there. if you don’t like her or her advice, don’t read it. keep in mind that the man that you share your bed with most likely had his share of karrine’s before you. it is downright disgusting to see women come here and rip a woman for no legitimate reason. it is pathetic, catty and uncalled for.

*Me-All-Dai* February 25, 2009, 9:46 PM

these people come on these blogs and share w/us all of their dislike for a persons views and opinions when we dont care … If U dont like her why are U on her blogs in the first place….not common sense..a bit confused i’d say….i love karrine regardless of what alot of people think nobody is perfect and everybody has a story…Im glad and inspired by her for sharing it with us…I love Karrine Im not a fan of her because of her fame but because alot of people women and men the same can relate to her in some kind of way…she’s just like everyone else… living life….

M February 28, 2009, 11:22 AM

Stop reading Karrine’s blog if you don’t like her.

ItsDeathBiotch February 28, 2009, 4:09 PM

Yo, WTF? People act like they’ve been living some BS christian BS perfect life. Every body makes mistakes…EVERYBODY. So just because she chose to tell her story and get paid silly duckets that gives you the right to call her names????? The main people HATING on this girl probably sucked and f*cked more bums than Karrine has AND you broads are still broke! Get off it, stop hating and at least f*uck with some ballers and not these ghetto broke down pieces of trash that drives Charger, 300s or what ever else “hood” Bentley they can barely afford. She f*cks with rappers and actors, y’all f*cks with crack wrappers and men with corns on their feet. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Bhudda Flii March 12, 2009, 4:42 AM

for all of the haterz, will you please stop reading and POSTING on karrine’s blogs?! we all have a past. if mine was worth telling, trust me i would!!! and so would you!

now move along please.

StraightShooter March 12, 2009, 11:55 PM

I so agree! We all have a past, I do and it is one that I don’t want every one to know about if you know what I mean. However fast forward to right now, I understand that I do not know the answer is what I am looking for, who brings it does not matter, I want the information! You are all so right! Stop Hatting!

Honestly March 16, 2009, 2:51 PM

I liked the post. I think it was great advice. However, I would not take advice from her on how to keep a man because she has no experience. Let’s all keep it real. With that said, I have nothing but love for her.

Aozhswgd June 23, 2009, 1:29 PM

ke8sjC comment4 ,

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Treatment for Hemorrhoid November 27, 2010, 4:37 AM

Nice information. Very helpful, very informative and easy to understand.

valium December 1, 2010, 4:06 PM

The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you werent too busy looking for attention.

Cheap High Heels Size December 9, 2010, 8:30 AM

Most people, when they criticize, whether they like it or hate it, they’re talking about product. That’s not art, that’s the result of art. Art, to whatever degree we can get a handle on (I’m not sure that we really can) is a process. It begins in the heart and the mind with the eyes and hands.

Young And Restless Soap Spoilers December 18, 2010, 12:09 AM

If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself alone. A man should keep his friendships in constant repair.

dieta japoneza December 27, 2010, 4:04 AM

I have beeing scouring the Web for such information and i wanted to thank u for the post. Also, just off topic, how can i get a version of this theme? – 10x

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