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Is Your Husband Gay?

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Guest blogger Karrine Steffans: It's a strange question but I get it all the time: How can I tell if my husband is gay? The inquiry is simple enough but the answer is complicated. However, there are a few generalizations I'm willing to make.

two men holding hands

There are gay men who are married to and have families with women. Some of these women have no idea or have a hunch and choose to ignore it. Some are well aware of their husbands' duplicity and either choose to accept it or find it incredibly erotic and a welcome addition to their sexual habits.

Some of you may be wondering if your husbands' kinky fetishes border on homosexual tendencies.

There is a stark difference between an explorative man, who engages in new and exciting forms of pleasure with his wife, and a man who finds other men sexually attractive and cannot have or enjoy sex unless there is another man, or the thought of one, in the mix.

Still, it is not your man's willingness to let you do anything to, with and for him that makes him sexually duplicitous, but rather, when only a man or thoughts of a man peak his interest and satisfy him in coitus.

Want to get a "straight' answer out of your man? Suggest that you have no issues with two men being together, even as an extramarital activity, and then gauge his reaction. It would be nice to not have to beat around the bush, but if a gay man is married to a woman, obviously he already has an issue with honesty and straightforwardness.

Good luck if this is an issue in your life!

These topics and more can be found in The Vixen Manual: How to Find, Seduce and Keep the Man You Want, July 2009. Visit for more.

next: Beware of Your Kid's Teacher!
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