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Just Say "No" to Valentine's Day

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One single mom thinks the holiday is incredibly biased, so she's opting out.

smiling woman corssed arm
Guest blogger Rachel Sarah: Go ahead and call me bitter. I'm not. Really. While I'm all for celebrating committed relationships, don't you think that Valentine's Day is, well, a bit biased?

That's why I've reached out to some of my favorite single parent bloggers to ask how they're saying "no" to Valentine's Day. Are you in?

Jessica, a newly divorced mom, says that she's choosing shoes over a date.

"I'm pretty sure you don't need a man if you've got these shoes on Valentine's Day," Jessica says, as she goes on to "ooh" and "aah" over sexy heels, from "Moschino with rhinestones" to "Alexander McQueen heart peep toe pumps."

"This much is clear: You don't need a man. You may want a partner to join you on this amazing and erratic journey. You may enjoy the sound of someone laughing uncontrollably at something off-handed and clever and quippy you threw out there without even thinking it up beforehand ... But you do not need a man."

Instead, what you need are shoes: "Shoes that are not meant for anything else other than pure, possibly overstated, completely deserved pleasure ..."

"T," a single mom of two, on the other hand, is quite philosophical about the holiday:

"I am saying no to Valentine's Day because I don't think I need a particular day to celebrate love," says T. "I think love is who we are -- and we should celebrate that every moment of every day!"

That's why single dad of two, Eathan, is going to hang out with a group of single and recently divorced friends for Valentine's Day.

"I'm usually the wine guy, so I'll provide a case of wine for everyone to enjoy," says Eathan, admitting that there is one woman "whom I am mutually attracted to. Currently, we haven't had the chance to go on an official date because of schedules, kids and life ... but we will soon."

Julie, single mom blogger, isn't quite feeling so "fabulous" about her single life right now.

"All of my friends are coupled up and I'm the only single person I know with no prospects for a Valentine's date," says Julie.

"So there will be no raging heart on for me this year. I'll just stay in the house with my dogs all day. They are male/female Yorkies -- even they are paired up! Arrrrgh."

Kat Wilder -- a single mom with a boyfriend -- agrees that Valentine's Day has "become a day of disappointment, unrealistic expectations and resentments."

"Some people might think I'm just another bitter middle-aged divorcee when I roll my eyes at Valentine's Day," adds Kat. "But the truth is, I'm not bitter. I'm a hopeless romantic!"

Are you a hopeless romantic, too? Or, are you saying "No" to Valentine's Day?


next: Dad Reunites with Son after Four Years
90 comments so far | Post a comment now
AnthonyIac February 11, 2009, 3:19 PM

What about us single guys in our late twenties?

single mom seeking February 12, 2009, 12:56 PM

Anthony: I’m pleased to hear that single guys in their late 20s read Momlogic!

Who knew?

So, what are YOU doing for Valentine’s Day?

Julie February 12, 2009, 1:14 PM

@Anthonylac…

Is your Dad single by chance? LOL

T February 12, 2009, 1:16 PM

@Julie…

Ha!!

pprlisa February 12, 2009, 1:22 PM

When I was in college, I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years just before V-Day. To help me through it, 10 of my friends & I drew names & decided to make each other something creative and funny for V-Day to ensure we all got something that day. Then we had a big dinner and exchanged “gifts”. It was the best V-Day I ever had.

Anonymous February 12, 2009, 4:25 PM

I’m a single mom and I don’t need a man. Every V-day I’ve celebrated with a man hasn’t been worth talking about. I’m celebrating V-day with my 2 year old son. He’s my love.

leelee February 12, 2009, 11:37 PM

I am fortunate enough to have a man who thinks love should be celabrated everyday, but that means we have never really celabrated V-day. That changed 6 years ago with the birth of our first son. Now we have a valid reason to celabrate-especially because it’s his birthday! God bless you all and have a Happy V-day any way you spend it!

Nancy February 13, 2009, 9:37 AM

Most of my childrens’ growing up years I was a single mom. I enjoyed the special activities we created and have fond memories of them. Celebrating love can happen in so many ways and I am so grateful for those times together.

Nancy February 13, 2009, 9:40 AM

Oh, yes, and now my husband and I are full-time humanitarians sponsoring children in impoverished areas worldwide. This Valentine’s day we celebrate them!

lynn February 14, 2009, 1:31 PM

I have no human kids (just pets) but I followed some links and found this fabulous article. I am cornered in a platonic marriage and a special day to show our love seems kind of pointless to me.

Our anniversary is one week before V-day and my romance-challenged hubby taxes his brain cells every year to come up with two gifts. This year I let him off the hook and told him that we didn’t need to celebrate our marriage and V-day doesn’t exist in our house. Besides, he is unemployed right now, so spending money on things that we don’t need is silly.

BTW, one year I took him to a lingerie store and asked him to pick something out for me. He bought me a pair of nylon panties (briefs) with a heart cut-out in the back. He said he wanted to pick out something comfortable. Thats another reason we don’t celebrate. I always end up disappointed, no matter how hard I try to remember that it’s the thought that counts.

Schnoobs February 14, 2010, 8:46 AM

Valentines day sucks. Whoever Valentine is he can have his day back.

Guy. MID-twenties.

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