Why is it that when my husband "helps" me with something, it always ends up being more work for me?
Radical Mommy: My husband is a freelancer. When he's not working, he stays at home and looks after our son. During these times, he often tries to "help" with things around the house. I hate to say it, but his brand of "help" is something I really don't need.
Here's an example: The other night I came home from work and arrived to an empty house. My husband was still at the park with our son, so I thought I would throw some (frozen) dinner in the oven so it would be ready when they got home. Nice of me, huh? He's been home all day, but yet I still have to make (read: defrost) dinner. Annoyance # 1.
I turned the oven on and waited for it to reach 400 degrees. At about 150 degrees I opened the oven to check how hot it was (I have no idea why), and low and freakin' behold, Helpful Hubby had emptied an entire (toxic) can of cleaner into the oven. To say I was pissed would be an understatement. I debated about just shutting the oven door and ignoring it until he got home and telling him to deal with it. But because I had turned the heat on in the oven, the noxious, toxic and maddening fumes had begun to permeate the whole house.
Even at the best of times, I don't like chemicals being used in the house -- but to put industrial strength cleaning products into an enclosed space where I cook FOOD was just too much for me to handle. Needless to say, I had to finish the job he had started. I was forced to scrub that toxic oven at the end of a very long day at work. Grr!
My husband also tries to lend his assistance doing things like laundry. Here's how that usually works out for me. He does wash and dry things, but he always asks me to get the clothes out of the dryer when they're done. I used to fall for this trick and bring the stuff in from the dryer and fold everything (because who just leaves clean clothes in a heap on the bed, right?). But I recently took the hard line with Hubby and told him, "No, I will not get the laundry out of the dryer because I am not doing laundry right now -- you are." It didn't really change anything. I'm still folding the majority of the laundry, and putting it away (the absolute worst part).
My final complaint about my hubby's "help" is when he decides to "organize" my sh*t" -- meaning the kitchen. My husband does not cook. He doesn't even know what is in the fridge or the cabinets, because when he opens either one, he gets "man blindness" and can never find anything to eat. Anyway, he occasionally decides to assist me by organizing the kitchen. This infuriates me. (After all, would I "organize" his bloody tools? No.) It also forces me to rearrange everything so that I can find my pots and utensils and use them efficiently. Ugh!
I know some of you are saying that I should be happy that my husband helps with anything at all, and I am. But, as I say to my husband all the time, help is only help when I need it -- otherwise, it's just something you want to do AND should finish.