twitter facebook stumble upon rss

Six Reasons My Toddler is Kind of an A**hole

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

If my toddler was one of my girlfriends, I'd kick her to the curb.

lilyfl.jpg


Momlogic's Momstrosity: Since becoming a parent, I spend a great deal of time with my three-year-old. We're inseparable. But to be honest, even though she's my BFF, she's not the greatest friend. At one time or another all toddlers can be jerks -- adorable, cuddly, hilarious, jerks. Put simply, if I had to scale down my friend inventory she'd be the first to go, here's why:

She's extremely self-absorbed
You know the type, they never ask questions in conversation. Instead it's all about them. All day long it's: "I like pink!," "Watch me bounce on the bed", "I went poo in my pants!" Just once I'd like to hear her ask me what's MY favorite color or inquire if, perhaps, I went poo in MY pants.

She calls me in the middle of the night
Can you say needy? I mean I have to work WAY earlier than she does ... actually she doesn't even have a job. So I find it really irritating that anytime she needs a shoulder to cry on -- or more milk -- she has no compunction about waking me up, sometimes more than once a night. It's been going on for years. I like to be there for my friends, but this is ridiculous.

She's manic AND a control freak
Not a great combination. Her personality can change on a dime. One minute she's standing on a chair in full princess regalia happily singing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star," the next she's uncontrollably crying and hurling her tiara across the room because I brought her juice in the wrong sippy cup. I'm constantly walking on eggshells. It's like hanging out with a tiny alcoholic who swigs massive amounts of milk.

She's a slob
Ever have a friend who was a little lax in the hygiene department? Multiply that by a hundred. There are times when the kid reeks. But does she care? No way. I'm always the one who has to broach the bath subject. What's worse is she doesn't care if her hair is combed, her teeth brushed or her clothes are crusty with dried yogurt. Giving her friendly advice, like, "You only get one chance to make a first impression" falls on deaf ears.

She's a fair weather friend
She's the kind of friend that it's great when you're at the top of her list -- especially if you have candy -- but then she'll drop you like a hot Mr. Potato Head.

She's a mooch
It's galling. She's NEVER offered to pay or at least split the check when we go out to lunch. Even worse, we've been roommates ever since she was born and she's never once remembered to help with the rent.

Seriously, would you stay friends with someone like this?



next: Men in High Heels Entertain the Masses
123 comments so far | Post a comment now
Bobi January 6, 2011, 9:33 AM

Heyy – I should say, I sure am happy with your website. I had no trouble navigating via all of the tabs and the information was really easy to gain access to. I discovered what I wanted in no time at all. Pretty awesome. Thank s alot!

Breast enlargement without surgery January 9, 2011, 9:26 PM

very good post, i definitely love this website, keep on it

remodeling, mi January 11, 2011, 9:29 AM

Awesome, keep up the great posts

Giełda Transportowa January 13, 2011, 4:27 AM

BEAUTIFUL ARTICLE!!!!!

light sheer duet białystok  January 13, 2011, 5:02 PM

This is a brilliant initiative. Thanks a bunch for sharing!

Chicken Pox Prevention January 16, 2011, 1:25 PM

Thank you for this unique article. I especially enjoyed reviewing it and ought to discuss it with everyone.

Tonja Remsen January 17, 2011, 3:06 PM

This really is the very best post I understand as of these days.Exactly where did you got every one of the data from? That is very useful and really education. I will remain awhile in right here. Worth reading each wordsf

Katie January 28, 2011, 10:46 PM

lol “or inquire, perhaps, if I went poo in MY pants”. well. lets hope that’s never an issue with you ;)

settlement loan February 1, 2011, 1:21 PM

I enjoy your wordpress layout, where did you get a hold of it?

Chicken Pox Rashes February 2, 2011, 9:16 AM

When I initially commented I clicked the -Notify me when new feedback are added- checkbox and now each time a remark is added I get four emails with the same comment. Is there any means you possibly can take away me from that service? Thanks!

house siding February 4, 2011, 11:35 PM

I experimented with viewing your website in my iphone and the structure doesnt seem to be right. Might wanna check it out on WAP as well as it seems most cellular phone layouts are not working with your web page.

dating australia February 5, 2011, 9:24 PM

Have you considered including several social bookmarking buttons to these blogs. At least for myspace.

Luz Reefer February 6, 2011, 8:05 AM

Definitely, what a magnificent site and instructive posts, I will bookmark your site.All the Best!

zespół muzyczny wesela February 19, 2011, 2:11 AM

Interesting and usefull for me, i’m agree with this.

varicella February 25, 2011, 7:11 PM

I am typically to blogging and i actually recognize your content. The article has really peaks my interest. I am going to bookmark your web site and maintain checking for brand new information.

comet laptops March 5, 2011, 3:53 PM

The next wind storm has grown unstable. Today, areas which are possibly not plagued by bad weather working experience the idea usually, despite the fact that environment has grown into more painful. Keeping that in mind, you have to pick safeguard within the rain plus the frosty winds that can come along with it. As an alternative to utilizing an outdoor umbrella or maybe a restrict, designed to believe larger, you should basically give consideration to having a bad weather layer.

the three peaks challenge March 6, 2011, 4:18 PM

A really good set of info which I will be certainly coming back to read again. Thanks very much to all those who contribute.

comet laptops March 7, 2011, 8:01 AM

Perfect piece of work you have done, this website is really cool with wonderful info .

469 Area Code Info March 11, 2011, 4:37 AM

I have got 1 suggestion for your weblog. It seems like right now there are a few cascading stylesheet problems when launching a selection of web pages in google chrome and safari. It is running alright in internet explorer. Perhaps you can double check this.

Area Code 716 Info March 11, 2011, 4:38 AM

This really answered my problem, thank you!


Leave a reply:



(not displayed)

     




Avoid clicking "Post" more than once
Back to top >>
advertisement