The Great Debate: One Child ... Or Two?

The Great Debate: One Child ... Or Two?

Saturday, February 28, 2009

filed under: georgie hockett

Georgie Hockett: I've always just wanted one child. I'm comfortable with one. So why am I thinking about two, when I always thought people with two children were crazy?

I remember going through a pregnancy, not knowing what in the world was going with this body that I thought was mine. Morning sickness? Try all-day sickness; try four month sickness. I remember lying on the bathroom floor thinking, "Will it be worth all this?"

You know the answer.

And now it's almost two years later, and when I see a pregnant woman I want to cry; I want to hug her around the shoulders and say, "I'm so jealous of what you're about to go through." Have I forgotten the pain? Uh, no. Am I blind to the stretch marks? I see their traces. Have I forgotten what it's like to be up most hours of the night? Not at all, I'm still amazed at my daughter's 14-hour, sleep-filled nights.

I've always been strictly one child. Everyone would ask and I'd say, "Just one for me." But it's amazing how the love for a child can erase stretch marks, eliminate pain and give you the confidence that you can take on the world -- so what's another pregnancy?

I haven't decided what to do yet. But that's just one side of me talking. The silent side, the side that's writing this, already knows the answer.

Georgie Hockett is the co-founder (and original bride!) of A Grand Wedding.com, the only online resource featuring wedding vendors with a service or product under a thousand dollars. Georgie is also the author of two chick-lit novels. Mom of one.

33 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

I am in the same boat. My pregnancy was horrific and my daughter was born 4wks early. I think I want another, my husband does. I just don’t know what the “right” spacing of siblings is. Madness.

- Brie

Posted 02/28/09 10:08 AM

I am going through something similar as well. My baby boy is about to turn 2 and I was always on the fence of exactly how many I wanted. My husband at one time wanted an entire football team worth of babies (umm no). After My 4 months of sickness, Urgent Care visits, shots everyday(most unpleasant part), C-Section, and stretch marks, I still want another, and soon! My husband on the other hand, terrified to death! So now the convincing is up to me, not easy!

- Danielle

Posted 02/28/09 05:01 PM

OK. I WENT THROUGH THIS ABOUT 4 YEARS AGO. I HAD ONE PRECIOUS LITTLE GIRL AND SHE NEVER SLEPT THROUGHT THE NIGHT FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS! THE PREGNANCY WAS ROUGH, AND I HAD A C-SECTION AFTER 2 DAYS OF LABOR. I DEBATED FOR MONTHS WHETHER I REALLY WANTED TO GO THROUGH IT AGAIN AND TRY FOR A BOY. WELL, GUESS WHAT I DID. DROPPED MY BIRTH CONTROL PILL AFTER BEING CALLED SELFISH FOR EVEN HAVING TO THINK ABOUT IT. PREGNANT AFTER 2 MONTHS. I GOT MY LITTLE BOY. YAY! I LOVE HIM DEARLY, BUT HE IS ALL BOY! THE NIGHTS WERE WORSE, THE PREGNANCY WORSE, BUT AT LEAST THE C-SECTION WAS SCHEDULED. DON’T LET ANYONE TELL YOU IT ISN’T ANY HARDER WITH 2 CHILDREN THAN WITH ONE. BECAUSE, IT TRULY IS. THERE ARE PERKS THOUGH. INSTANT PLAYMATE FOR THE OTHER SIBLING (WHEN THEY ARE NOT FIGHTING). YOU CAN LOVE THE OTHER ONE JUST AS MUCH AS THE FIRST. BUT IT IS DEFINITELY HARDER. GOOD LUCK!

- TONYA

Posted 02/28/09 06:39 PM

I was just talking to someone yesterday about how we all heard that the second child added so much more responsibility and stress as compared to the first, but that knowing that doesn’t stop anyone from doing it. Here I am, adoring my second child, but feeling like I was ignoring all the well-meaning warnings about how much work it would be!

- C.

Posted 02/28/09 08:42 PM

My daughters are five years apart. My husband and I didn’t plan to have either one of them. I was on the pill with both. However; I can’t see my life without them. One is in kindergarten and one is four months old. I have time to bond with her since the oldest is in school. Talk about perfect. My sister and I are five years apart also, we are very close. I did however get my tubes tied. No more surprises for me.

- E

Posted 02/28/09 09:36 PM

I’ve got one and am content. What I always wonder is why do people look at you like you are crazy if you say you are content with one????

- A Frugal Friend

Posted 02/28/09 10:01 PM

Like someone else above said, both of mine were accidents too. Beautiful, sweet, adorable, sometimes annoying little accidents. When my son was 4 I got pregnant with my daughter. I wasn’t happy about it at first. But you know, I am lucky because I have easy pregnancies, no sickness ever, more energy (weird huh?), I don’t know, I guess I just love being pregnant. If I had to, I could totally be a surrogate. My first delivery was totally easy. The second was a planned c-section because the little snot was folded in half with her head and fit up in my rib cage. So that sucked, the recovery was horrible! All that said, I would have two more kids if we had the money. My kids are exactly 5 years apart and that’s good spacing because my son has always been able to help out. If we like hit the lottery or something, I would have more kids. But we barely can afford the 2 we have and they are going to have to share a room. So sadly, now more for us!

- ashley

Posted 03/01/09 08:37 AM

One was enough for me. Now she’s grown up and in college, it’s like we’re newlyweds all over again.

- Lindy

Posted 03/01/09 12:00 PM

In a loving way of course, my parents have said I was such a difficult baby, they almost didn’t have my brother 3.5 years later ;) I was born 6 months early & had pneumonia. I spent more time crying than not. Mom miscarried a year before my brother was born and they really wanted another. I tried for over a year to conceive my first daughter. It was an easy pregnancy but I ended up having an emergency c-section and the epidural decided to fail at the start of surgery. Although she was a relatively easy baby, there were many, many times when she would cry and could not be consoled. At 8 weeks old, I finally realized she needed a short nap at 5:30 in the evening and at times just wanted to be put down instead of held. I suspect the same was the case for me as an infant. I conceived my second daughter weeks after getting off the birth control pill. She was born 2 days before my first girl turned 2. I’m so glad I was “brave” enough to have my 2nd. She was such a cheerful, easy going baby. At 9 & 11, they do bicker & fight sometimes, but usually get along well.

- ame i.

Posted 03/01/09 04:44 PM

It is said she is a hot blogger at richromances.com where many people view her blog and debate under every topic she created.

- lawr4ebss

Posted 03/02/09 09:06 AM

I haven’t had any kids, but I was an only child and I remember how lonely it was. Your kid loves you, but if you decide to just keep that one be prepared for emotional craziness.There will be time when your child will resent you.I love my mom, but that happened to me. Your kid is the perfect age for a little sibling. Make memories, have #2!!

- vaccum cactus

Posted 03/02/09 12:39 PM

Why doesn’t anyone ever talk about the studies that say that only children are NOT more at risk for academic and social issues- in fact research proves them to be slightly ahead- and happier- despite common myths and the few only children we think about as the myth

- Anonymous

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