Open My Present -- in Front of Everyone!!

Open My Present -- in Front of Everyone!!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

filed under: meanest mom

It's not done much anymore ... and I kind of miss it.

Guest blogger Jana Mathews: Included among the things have gone the way of the dinosaurs is opening presents AT your birthday party. When I was growing up in the 80s, everyone had their birthday parties at their house. The best part of the event--for everyone in attendance--was when all of the party guests sat in a circle around the birthday boy/girl and screamed "OPEN MINE FIRST!!!!" while pointing to a mangled gift bag or newspaper-wrapped box.

Now that it's less hassle and more cool to have your birthday party at exotic destinations like Chuck-E-Cheese's or the local bowling alley, it is no longer customary for birthday gifts to be opened in front of the people who gave them. Today, most kids open their presents at home after the party is over.

There are, of course, practical reasons for this change. Some venues aren't conducive to present opening; others don't allow it. I understand the reasons why kids don't open presents at their parties anymore, yet as one tradition gives way to another, I can't help but feel sad that my children are missing out on one of most memorable experiences from my childhood: namely, the joy of picking out a present for a friend and watching him/her freak out (in a good way) at the moment of its unveiling.

What are your thoughts? Should kids open their presents at their birthday parties? Why or why not?

Jana Mathews is the mother of "four under five" and the author of The Meanest Mom blog.

10 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

our kids still open the presents infron of everyone at the party. however we usually have a destination party, but only at the local park/lake/playground. we invite everyone (including my husbands ex and all her family, so there are about 40 people there for their son and our son’s party…long story, but we all get a long great and are really close. our son calls the ex’s parents grandma and grandpa too).

- Beth

Posted 02/17/09 08:53 AM

Our girls celebrate their birthday together and I don’t want fighting or tears from them so we wait(we have a special needs child who is rather sensitive). I actually prefer waiting because it allows our family to enjoy it together and we get to talk about the person who gave the gift. I also like waiting because some kids who attend the party are not always nice and want the presents too.

- Kristen

Posted 02/20/09 12:00 PM

I nixed opening presents at the party a few years ago. I have twins and there were so many presents, it was annoying. Plus, the kids did not value what they received. It was just too much chaos, I tell you. It was especially convenient not to open presents this year because I did a last minute, meet at the park party, where presents were optional. Because of the open setting, there was no peer pressure to bring a present, so if a family could not afford to buy one, they did not feel guilty or excluded. Of course, there are also people who will always bring gifts no matter what you say. It is futile to try to stop them.

- Anonymous

Posted 02/22/09 02:36 AM

My two boys always open their gifts at their parties. I can see how it is sometimes easier to open the presents at a later time. My youngest just had his second birthday party and was bored after opening the first three presents and just wanted to get down and play. However, I am big on tradition and I believe that most people who bring a gift want to see the child open their gift. I also try to instill gratefullness in my children so I make sure they go to each person and tell them thank you. Even if there is someone that couldn’t bring a present, I make sure my child thanks them for coming to their party.

- Cassandra

Posted 03/04/09 06:28 PM

i too am somewhat disappointed that opening presents at the party has become somewhat unpopular…i can understand it if the party is large or the children are very young, but it seems to me that children are often interested in seeing the gift they brought be opened, and the parents are the ones who nix the idea. even more of a bummer is the “please, no gifts, we already have everything anyone could possibly need…” personally i enjoy getting gifts for others, and so does my son, and i want him to have the learning experience of making someone else’s birthday about them, and being excited on someone else’s behalf.

- laura

Posted 03/24/09 11:15 PM

I think it’s so important for the birthday child to open each present as it is received, not put on a table to open in one big, flashy ceremony. The child giving the present gets to see their immediate reaction. The child receiving the present gets to thank them immediately and even years later can remember who gave them what. And children who can’t afford a present, but bring a lovely homemade card, aren’t embarrassed as it is all done individually not in a crowd. Even at destination parties where they often provide a large bag to put all the presents in, I insist they are opened first before being placed in the bag. It does have its down side though … it’s hard to declutter the children’s bedrooms when everything you pick up is met with, “I can’t get rid of that, so-and-so gave it to me!”

- xanderley

Posted 04/23/09 09:44 PM

I too have twins, and we opened presents at home this year after the party. Mainly because my mother-in-law took over and started opening their presents with out me being nearby to see who gave them what, I burst out in tears, because of my pregnancy hormones and then my mom and aunt kindly suggested we just wait to open presents at home. My children weren’t even sitting with her as she opened their presents, they had no interest. But at home they loved it. Plus I can’t stand when other kids try to take their gifts away from them, and get all in their faces.

- Christa

Posted 05/18/09 11:38 AM

Bravo, the excellent answer.

- LeraJenkins

Posted 06/22/09 12:26 AM

1qkU15 comment4 ,

- Ynchvdeu

Posted 06/30/09 09:46 PM

.. Seldom.. It is possible to tell, this exception :)

- PeterMontee

Posted 07/02/09 06:32 PM