I Am a Shallow Mommy

Saturday, February 21, 2009

filed under: marilyn kentz

Guest blogger Marilyn Kentz: When I was in high school I wanted very badly to be a cheerleader. I thought it was the direct means to becoming as popular as possible. I didn't make it. I'm still bitter.

Years later I saw a little ray of hope. I had a daughter. I put pom-poms in her little chubby fists and taught her to say, "Push 'em back ... push 'em back ... waaaay back." But it's a new century and popularity isn't the premium it used to be. When my daughter was 15, she was not at all interested in short, sassy skirts in school colors, little shaky pom-poms or even dancing. It distressed me. All her little friends were letting their mothers live through them. At the Homecoming Game they wore a glow and had memorized all their daughters' cheers. They didn't even look at the game, and neither did I. I knew all the words, too. And there sat mine -- Ms. Bohemian -- muttering, "This is so tacky! It's degrading to women."

"Okay, maybe, but they look so happy and popular," I answered in all honesty.

"Mom, is that all you think about? Being popular?" she growled.

"No. I think about cute clothes, great shoes and thick hair," I answered in a perky tone, knowing I was making her roll her eyes.

After a pregnant pause, she turned to me and cooed, "Mom, I saw some great shoes at Bloomingdale's. Can we blow off this game and go to the mall?"

$140 later I was now living through my daughter the way nature intended.

Marilyn Kentz is the brunette half of the '90s comedy duo "The Mommies" and author of A Ten-Step Guide to Fearless Aging.

7 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

Ha ha, maybe you could be like that crazy mom and steal your daughter’s id and enroll in high school and join the cheerleading squad!! Just kidding!! I liked your story.

- ashley

Posted 02/21/09 08:01 AM

Gawd! Like, what is it about High School some of us just can’t move on. Screw the cheerleaders though, I’m still obsessing on all the awesome hot guys with mullets only they got to date. But no way would I want want my son to go through the Clique obsessions I went through. The only Cliques he is aware of is clicking left or right on his mouse, THANK GAWD.

- 80's anon

Posted 02/21/09 03:04 PM

Shallow really doesn’t cover this widespread American problem. People get so mentally damaged by the highschool enviroment that they keep trying to re-pattern it over and over again and often make their children the victum of this need. People need to move on and learn to be comfortible with who they are, not with who they wanted to be as a kid. They also need to let there kids know that is it cool to be who that are not who everyone wants them to be.

- Bec Thomas

Posted 02/21/09 06:25 PM

some people are way over analyzing….popularity and high school drama cannot be avoided. it is what it is. real life is like that too. the people are still mentally damaged by their high school environment need to get a life. it was only 4 years of your life. part of becoming who you are is getting through those years….

- haute mama

Posted 02/21/09 11:38 PM

I liked your story … many mom & daughters have difficult relationships but it sounds like you and your daughter have a good one. ………. :O)

- jw

Posted 02/22/09 08:33 PM

Whatever my daughter grows up wanting to do, as long as it’s legal, I will try to support. My dream was broken when I was around 11, but that was MY dream. I hope most mothers can look past themselves and let their daughters live THEIR dream.

- Ju

Posted 02/27/09 03:28 AM

She sounds like the type of girl who will stand up and empower women. In the long run that kind of girl will make you one proud mama more so that being popular and knowing how to cheer.

- Monica

Posted 04/11/09 10:04 PM