Guest blogger Karyn Bryant: Usually, the thought of a chalk outline on the ground is upsetting. But nothing would make me happier than to discover a chalk outline on my sidewalk filled, ironically, with sidewalk chalk. I don't know if there is a toy I hate more than this life-sucking abomination.
Sure, those sidewalk Monets and Matisses I've seen at street festivals are amazing, but my 2 ½-year-old kid is more of a sidewalk Messmaker. And she probably will be for a long time. She has an uncanny knack for dragging her butt through the most chalk-saturated areas, and then she does some sort of breakdancing thing wherein every inch of clothing gets a good, solid grinding-in of chalk. Are we having fun yet?
Another reason I detest this "toy" is that I am a terrible sketch artist. My decoupage skills would make Martha Stewart weep: but in terms of drawing, my repertoire consists of suns, stars, smiley faces and fish. And by fish I mean the ones where you don't lift the chalk and you draw an oval with a triangle on the end. It's pathetic. Guess what? Thanks to sidewalk chalk, everyone in the neighborhood now knows I'm lame, too.
The worst part? The fact that every time I hold a piece of chalk I feel as if my hands age at least three years. Every ounce of moisture is leeched from my body, never to return no matter what lotion or potion I try. Yes, I know they have chalk holders, but I'm not fooled. Sidewalk chalk is evil and it will find a way to destroy me.
|Karyn Bryant is a television personality who's hosted shows on networks such as CNN, TNT, VH1, and MTV. She's currently a reporter for Showtime Championship Boxing and CBS' Saturday Night Fights and lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Wade, and daughter, Aurora.|