twitter facebook stumble upon rss

What If My Baby Has Down Syndrome?

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

On the one hand, I don't know if I could be the mother of a baby with Down syndrome. On the other hand, can I be a mother who terminates a pregnancy?

Pregnant woman

Guestblogger Mommy2b: Being pregnant with my first baby in my later thirties has been an experience filled with fear. One, because with my age (37) comes an increase in genetic abnormalities, miscarriage and health issues like Down syndrome. Two, because I have already suffered two miscarriages, both after the first trimester.

Rather than my doctor's visits being filled with excitement and joy to see my baby's heart beating on the ultrasound screen, they have been tainted with anxiety. Last week, I asked the technician to turn the screen away from me. She replied "Really? You are the first person to ever ask me that." "I'm scared," I said. "That something is wrong, that the heartbeat stopped without me knowing it." I always hold my breath until she nods the OK.

And now this: I have to decide whether or not I will have the procedure which tests for genetic abnormalities in the first trimester (the CVS test). Most people who do this test are prepared to terminate a pregnancy if the results come back positive for Down syndrome. I don't know what to do. Because I have had two miscarriages I want to know if something is wrong with the baby ... but what if something IS wrong? Can I be the mother of a baby with Down syndrome? Can I be a mother who terminates?

I have spoken to girlfriends who have gone through similar situations. They are all on different pages: Several have no problem terminating a pregnancy and firmly stated: "that would be no life for you or a child." Others are absolutely opposed to testing AND termination: "This is a gift from God ... you will love the baby so much -- no matter what."

Which mom am I? If I make either decision, will I regret it? If I keep the baby, will I wish I didn't? Will life be too hard? Will my child and my family suffer? If I terminate the pregnancy, will I forever regret it, and wonder if I could have made a good life for my baby? Will I feel selfish and guilty?

Help.


next: Michelle Obama, My BFF
107 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous July 4, 2009, 2:38 PM

My husband and I recently received the news that our unborn 13 week old baby has a 1 in 9 chance or higher of having down’s syndrome. We have been devastated about this, and have been discussing what to do for days. In 2 days we are having a CVS, and if the results come back as positive for down’s, we will terminate this pregnancy. My husband lived his entire life with a sister with developmental disabilities and it has almost destroyed his family. He himself has hearing and bone problems, and just those minor disabilities have been rough on him throughout his life…constantly being made fun of, etc. Over 80% of marriages dissolve after having a child with disabilities. You people may be righteous, but there is a reason 90% of people terminate pregnancies after finding out this news. Maybe you can live with a child with this disorder, but many cannot. Congrats on being able to do so. I personally would not be able to deal with something like this, and will terminate this pregnancy if the CVS testing is positive.

Vanessa November 9, 2009, 5:37 PM

of course dont terminate the baby’s life. Many people have been told that their baby is going to come out with a deformaty or a diease and most of the time the doctors are wrong. And seriously a baby with down syndrome is like WOW! thats the best you could ever get. THose kids are such little angels. they are so inocccent and such a blessing.

Dana November 16, 2009, 5:17 PM

I have a 4 month old little boy who we didn’t know had Down’s Syndrome until after he was born. I was only 27 so it didn’t even cross my mind. I didn’t have the tests as I knew I wouldn’t terminate. I PERSONALLY believe who are we to say “you do not live up to my standards therefore you must die”. I guess when someone gets old and can no longer care for themselves we should shoot them…just my opinion. I have to say though…I was devastated…now….I am absolutely in love with this little boy and couldn’t imagine my life with out him!!!!!!!

Stephanie March 23, 2010, 8:54 PM

I don’t understand why anyone would terminate a child simply because he has Down Syndrome. I have a 3 year old daughter who is perfectly healthy and a 7 month old son that was born with Down Syndrome and I am 27 years old. I did not test for it while I was pregnant because it did not matter. God gave me this child because he wanted me to have him and I will do whatever it takes to make sure he has every opportunity to succeed. My daughter and son are both blessings and people with down syndrome deserve to live just like the rest of us.

Anonymous June 8, 2010, 5:06 AM

I love all the comments that others have shared. I also like to say my baby may have down syndrome an Iam at high risk. But I knew when they first said that the baby maybe at risk I was sacred an a little bit of I don’t known what to do only 26 years old 2 kids good health girls. I don’t know if theres something wrong with me or is this just ment to be but God knows an I will have my faith in him an pray that everything is alright. an even if my unborn child has down syndrome I know that God’s going to be there always

Online Banking Security October 17, 2010, 11:24 PM

Hey, I just hopped over to your site via StumbleUpon. Not somthing I would normally read, but I liked your thoughts none the less. Thanks for making something worth reading.

pay day loan December 10, 2010, 4:27 AM

Kudos for posting this type of useful weblog. Your site isn’t only informative but also very artistic too. There usually are very few those who can write not so simple articles that creatively. Carry on the nice writing !!

online payday loans December 10, 2010, 4:52 AM

Thanks a lot for the downright post.this can be the words that sustains me to normal straight through my day. I have been searching around because of this site after being called them coming from a colleague and was thrilled after i was able to locate it after in search of long time. To be a demanding blogger, i’m hopeful to remarked further ones taking initivative and leading to town. True wished to comment to exhibit my appreciation to your website as it’s very intelligent to try and do, and a few writers will not accumulate acknowledgment they deserve. I am definite i’ll be back and can send a number of my local freinds.

online payday loans December 10, 2010, 5:57 AM

Many thanks for finding the time to debate this, I’m strongly about this and love learning on this topic. When possible, because you gain expertise, do you mind updating your blog with extra information? It is quite useful for me.

payday loans December 10, 2010, 7:50 AM

I was just browsing in some places but got to learn to read this post. I must say that we are in the hand of luck today or else getting this excellent post to read wouldn’t are already achievable for me personally, a minimum of. Really appreciate your articles.

payday loans online December 10, 2010, 7:50 AM

Hello, I found your blog in the new directory of blogs. I don’t know how your site came up, will need to have been a typo. Your site looks good, use a nice day.

payday loan December 10, 2010, 9:15 AM

I’d been just browsing every now and then along with to see this post. I have to admit that i’m inside the hand of luck today or maybe getting such an excellent post to read wouldn’t happen to be achievable to me, at least. Really appreciate your articles.

cash loans December 13, 2010, 2:48 PM

Many thanks for sharing superb informations. Your websiteis so cool.I am stunned at the details that you’ve for this blog. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come backfor extra articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I discovered simply the info I already searched everywhere we look and just couldn?t run into. Exactly what a ideal website. I like this web site whilst your website is without a doubt certainly one of my new favorite ones.I like this amazing site given and possesses given me some sort of dedication to ensure success for a lot of purpose, so thanks

online payday loans December 13, 2010, 3:48 PM

Each and every time I visit this website there’s new things and improved will be able to study on. Haha I’ve experienced your source code multiple times to know how you’re doing some things so we could put them on my site. Thanks! I will teach you about strategies to make money online.

payday loan December 13, 2010, 5:35 PM

Kudos for posting such a useful weblog. Your website isn’t only informative but additionally very artistic too. There are often very handful of individuals who can write not simple articles that creatively. Maintain the nice writing !!

pay day loan December 13, 2010, 5:35 PM

I used to be questioning occasion you ever considered altering customized for specific cultures with the website? Its really correctly created; I enjoy what youve obtained to say. But possibly you are able to small much more with respect to content so males could connect with it greater. Youve obtained a horrible total lots of text for less than obtaining a single or two images. Maybe you’ll have the capacity to area against eachother greater?

same day payday loans December 13, 2010, 6:57 PM

Intriguing article. I’m sure I’m just a little late in posting my comment but the article was to the purpose and just the info I’d been trying to find. I can’t say that I go along with everything you could mentioned but it was emphatically fascinating! BTW…I found your internet site by having a Google search. I’m a frequent visitor to your blog and definately will return again soon.

payday loans in georgia December 14, 2010, 8:52 AM

I really loved this post. You describe this topic wonderfully. When hiring home contractors it’s key to pick a trusted name in construction. Experienced and efficient staff should strive for excellence and seriously consider every detail of your property.

pay day loan December 14, 2010, 9:16 AM

Hello from Russia! Will it be possible for me to quote a submit within your weblog while using the link to you? I’ve tried emailing you relating to this problem however it seems i cant reach you, please response when have a moment, thanks.

pay day loans December 14, 2010, 10:18 AM

Kudos for posting a really useful weblog. Your blog isn’t only informative but also very artistic too. There are typically very couple of people who can write less than simple articles that creatively. Sustain the nice writing !!


Back to top >>
advertisement