Lingerie: Why spend money on something that will just get taken off? Inquiring moms want to know!
momlogic's jenny: Long, long ago, there once lived a young, reasonably fit, and energetic woman named Jenny who lived in a magical kingdom called Los Angeles. When she first met a man (that would one day become her husband), she went out of her way to wear sexy undergarments. She even bought naughty lingerie "just because." The man appreciated Jenny's gesture, and gladly reciprocated by buying her (the tightest, most uncomfortable) lingerie to wear on special occasions like Valentine's Day, anniversaries, Fridays ...
Then they got married.
Then they had a baby.
Then she went back to work.
Then she became tired.
Then she stopped shaving her legs.
Now she wears sweats and falls asleep on the couch with her mouth open.
Does this happily-ever-after story sound familiar to you? Do you want it to be like the "good ol' days"?? You want to feel and look sexy in and out of the bedroom. You want to please your man and feel like his very own Victoria Secret's model, but the truth is you're happy wearing his old boxers and a tee. Plus, in this recession, what's the point of spending money on some see-through, lacy get-up when you could easily be naked -- FOR FREE?!
Charles says: First, please allow me a disclaimer: I cannot speak for all men. I can offer a combination of my opinions and experiences, as well as my impressions of the opinions of other men I've spoken with ... but that's all.
Bras and G-strings, teddies and baby dolls, negligees, corsets and bustiers, and role-play clothing (nurses outfits and the like) ... the word "lingerie" can take on many meanings. From sexy to risque to kinky -- it is completely based on the wants/needs of the couple. So what is it about leather and/or lace that moves the proverbial meter for men?
When it comes to men, the reasons range from primal to romantic. For some, feeling like she did something especially for him can be flattering ... and lingerie offers him a glimpse (and only a teasing glimpse) of the woman he loves as only he sees her. And with all that daily life brings us, it can be hard to keep that sense of "newness" and romance ... and something sexy can be a welcome addition to the bedroom.
But it's not just men who get a positive charge out of lingerie. As I've mentioned in my book The Problem with Women... is Men, women are women first, and wives/mothers/girlfriends second ... and they want to keep their femininity up-front-and-center ... not as an afterthought. Some women wear something sexy under their everyday clothes to feel sexy throughout the day. Some mentioned to me that it not only gives them more confidence, they feel more empowered. And wearing something sensual and revealing for an evening between the sheets can add to anticipation, and eliminate humdrumish feelings of work/kids/house/finances/etc.
Keep in mind, though, that lingerie is an extension of a couple's sensuality and sex life. If he comes home with a gift you're not into (barbed wire, anyone?), you might need to guide things a little. A suggestion might be to go shopping for lingerie together. If you both end up in the dressing room together -- trying things on and taking them off -- beware of salespeople and mall cops, as they may not be forgiving if you are found in "flagrante delicto." But taking him shopping with you kills two birds with one stone: anticipation will be at a high for that evening, and he'll know that the crotchless panties he thinks are perfect might not be your speed.
Point taken, Charles. I think this Valentine's Day, I WILL spice things up. Besides, who says I can't wear the crotchless panties under my sweats?
|Charles Orlando is the author of The Problem with Women is Men: The Evolution of a Man's Man to a Man of Higher Consciousness. When he's not cooking his wife breakfast in bed or playing Guitar Hero: World Tour on the Wii with his kids, he can be found blogging at theproblemwithwomenismen.com|