One babysitter uncovers Mommy's dirty little secret.
Mary Poppins: I have been a babysitter and nanny to a variety of families over the years, and the one common denominator between all of them is that each and every parent has stumbled home drunk on more than one occasion. Now when I say drunk, I do not mean mildly intoxicated, but still able to function. Nope, I mean so drunk that I hear you attempting and failing to get your key in the door, I smell you from 10 feet away, and you wobble towards me asking me how your kids were.
I am glad that you had a fantastic night, but I really do not need to hear the slurred words coming out of your mouth. In fact, it would be great if you could keep it down, because I would hate to have to leave you with screaming kids because you woke them up. Although, since you just told me that you gave half of my paycheck to the bartender because he poured a shot directly into your mouth, I'm beginning to reconsider ...
I like to have fun just as much as the next person, but dear God, I hope by the time I am your age, I can handle myself better in public. What is it with you parents today who think that taking a load off can only be accomplished by downing a vodka bottle?
Don't get me wrong ... I love spending time with your kids and earning the extra income, but why don't you take a night off and spend it with your own children? Trade a vodka tonic for some Diet Coke once in a while. It will be less embarrassing and hopefully more rewarding ... plus, there's no hangover to contend with the next day.
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