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Bachelor: 'We Were Split Before the Show'

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Bachelor Jason Mesnick comes clean to us about his shocking breakup.

The Bachelor

Just like the rest of America, our jaws dropped when we watched the drama that went down the other night on "The Bachelor." As moms, we had a lot of questions for single dad Jason Mesnick ... and some of our thoughts were not so nice. We wanted to know the truth, so we sat down with Jason for a candid, one-on-one interview. We learned that, for him, this was a terribly difficult decision that he did not take lightly, and he says never meant to hurt anyone.

Do you think Melissa knew your relationship was over?
Melissa definitely knew before going on [the show]. I mean our last conversation was: "Are you gonna to wear the ring? Because you know we're not together." And I think that she probably had some hopes still that maybe I was gonna change my mind, 'cause she was really upset. We didn't talk a couple of days before we shot. And that's OK. No matter what I said, she was going to be upset. We've talked about not being together over the phone but I had to tell her stuff in person, too. I'm not as cowardly as it might seem or as much of a jerk as I might seem for doing it on camera. But that was my only chance to do it.

Why did you propose to Melissa if you were that torn?
If I could go back again obviously -- yeah, I'm the stupid one. I shouldn't have proposed. But at the moment, I thought I was doing the right thing because she [Melissa] was the right one. She was the person I always dreamed of. Why wouldn't I propose to the person I've always been dreaming of?

Who do you think your mom preferred?
My mom wants me to be happy. And she met both Melissa and Molly and liked both of them. I know they spent one day together. She didn't really have a great judge of who she thought I should be with. She said as long as I'm happy, that's what's most important. But she said, "You know if you go through with [this breakup], people are going to really look down on you." And I said, "But it's the truth, and if people judge me for following my heart, I can't control that."

How does it feel to have all this criticism?
I think it's fair for people to have the right to judge me. But it was the truth.

How has your son Ty been handling all of this?
Ty has no idea what's going on. His experience with the show is: Yes, he did meet Melissa and Molly. But that's for one day, but through the experience when he was with me. It's not like it was just him and I playing and going to the beach and stuff. It's audio people, it's camera people, it's producers. And some of the girls even look like Melissa and Molly. You know, they are young producers and what not. And he has no idea. So he goes into it making a bunch of friends. The coolest guys are probably the camera operators that let him kind of get behind the camera and see how they work. That part was fun for him. But as far as the girls, I don't think he's able to kind of draw a conclusion from that.

Want more? Check out momlogic's RAW AND UNEDITED interview with Bachelor Jason Mesnick -- only in the momlogic community!


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167 comments so far | Post a comment now
muddin mom of 2 March 5, 2009, 11:16 AM

i STILL think hes a jerk…and didnt he say on the show that he spent holidays with Melissa? so whats he sayin…he didnt take Ty along?? DOUBT THAT!

Jackie March 5, 2009, 11:23 AM

Great interview! I hope he is happy, and Mellissa finds someone great!

denise March 5, 2009, 11:40 AM

he’s better off not talking. And he is still a jerk

Linney March 5, 2009, 12:05 PM

still a jerk for how he handled it, but whatever. i hope melissa finds what she is looking for, she deserves someone really great. i hope jason figures it all out.

Anonymous March 5, 2009, 1:20 PM

Jason, you’re a piece of crap.

alexandrea March 5, 2009, 1:45 PM

i don’t know way we all judge him we don’t know Wat happen behind close doors and off camera if that was best for these woman it was don better now thin later

Sara March 5, 2009, 2:08 PM

He’s such a jerk. It’s pathetic. Melissa deserves so much better!

Jodi March 5, 2009, 2:34 PM

People have been astonishingly judgmental since the “After the Final Rose” episode. It’s true that Jason wasn’t ready to propose to either woman, which he’s acknowledged, and he shouldn’t have done so. On the other hand, once he realized his mistake, he tried to do the best possible thing in a bad situation (including going along with the terms of his contract). Is he a “jerk”? Who knows. As one who has hurt people unintentionally and also been hurt — including a broken engagement — all I can say is that we’re all human and that relationships can cause pain. For most of us, the joy that good relationships bring is worth the possibility that now and then one will end very badly. I wish all the parties well … and that the rest of us will move on already!!

YC March 5, 2009, 2:36 PM

What you don’t seem to get, Jason, is that it’s okay to follow your heart (indeed perhaps it is our highest calling), but to claim integrity of action, as you do, the WAY in which you follow your heart should be well-considered not only in terms of the consequences to you, but to others. Regretfully, the way you handled your choices actions fails the integrity test. You leaped quickly, more than once, when you could have endured the agony of indecision long enough to make well-reasoned choices. You could have handled the six weeks with Melissa with more *integrity* as well, being more honest. Okay, you made mistakes. The public wrath, however, stems from the WAY in which Melissa was dumped on national TV, and then your sticking your tongue down Molly’s throat immediately thereafter. Good grief.

Elizabeth Garza March 5, 2009, 3:21 PM

Jason is selfish and came on so innocent and talked alabout his son. He was only comparing sex partners,not at all thinking about the future of Tye.Mellisa is the perfect mom and wife,which by the way was his reason he appeared on the show(so innocent ).
Jason you have a rude awakening “carma”.and it does go around. Thank God you saved Mellisa from more heartache.”carma” is a promise!!!!!!!!!!!

Elizabeth Garza March 5, 2009, 3:22 PM

Jason is selfish and came on so innocent and talked alabout his son. He was only comparing sex partners,not at all thinking about the future of Tye.Mellisa is the perfect mom and wife,which by the way was his reason he appeared on the show(so innocent ).
Jason you have a rude awakening “carma”.and it does go around. Thank God you saved Mellisa from more heartache.”carma” is a promise!!!!!!!!!!!

MeMoMum March 5, 2009, 3:51 PM

Frankly, I am ‘Over’ it all. They are all getting so much publicity over it. The Ellen show? ET? and Insider? WOW—— I’ll be glad when I turn on the TV or open a magazine or a webpage and it is not all spread so wide. It’s History, now so - Let’s go forward people. Humm. Maybe a new twist on the Bachleorette next season- this one was great for Ratings!!!

Mary March 5, 2009, 4:04 PM

He is still a jerk! and this is being nice.
In the story about he says Melissa was the right one for me….how could that change so quickly and than want to have Molly who manipulated him…big time.

Jessica March 5, 2009, 4:16 PM

Jason you are the bigest jerk ever stop trying to justofi your self, what you did to Melissa was cruel and selfish, there was so many other whays you cude have handled it with out hurting Melissa you cude have spoken to her about it off cameras and given her a redianal answer instead of just “thinghs where different” that is just a cawords whay out you cude have been onest with her and made in effert to work on your relationship with her, if after you made a risnable effert for a risnable amout of time like six months and things where not working out then you cude have broken it off privately and Melissa would not have been this heartbroken because, she would have prabobly still heart but not as bad because she would have seen that you made a sencier attenpt to work at your relationship, but you took the cawords way out and umiliated her on tv. and as Elizabeth said “carma” will be back to get you because the only thing Molly cares about is that she won the competition (THE BACHElOR) not about you much less your son, belive that she will be the worst stepmother you cude have ever found for your son TY. you can belive that she will dump you and heart you in the worst possible whay wich will be very well deserved.

Alyssa March 5, 2009, 4:21 PM

i love you melissa and i am sorry i cried when he did that … it was very sad….. your new bf is probably better… o and you r a great cheerleader to … lol .. love you 4 ever!!!!! good luck …. forget about jason…… and molly is kind of evil looking…lmao!!!
Best wishes!!!!!

Momsmith March 5, 2009, 4:54 PM

“On camera” was not your only chance. You could have contacted her by text or email to prepare her for what you planned to do. You, knowing she was “gonna be upset no matter what you said,” stooped the lowest of low, not only to hurt, and humiliate her on national TV, but to immediately jump down Mollie’s throat, and I do mean literally. You made me sick to my stomach.
I wonder if Ty has been able to watch, or have you locked up all copies as R rated until he reaches 18. Then make it a point to watch with him and show him how you and maybe his future his step-mom met.
And, Oh, we did want you to “follow your heart,” but not if it meant walking on top of someone elses.

Jenny March 5, 2009, 5:50 PM

Honestly, I don’t get what the big fuss is about. I feel badly for Melissa on some level but c’mon — she signed up to potentially become engaged to someone on a REALITY TELEVISION SHOW. Anyone who deludes themselves into thinking that that is a good idea — under any circumstances — is kind of asking for it. I only have so much sympathy for her (or any of the cast-off women) now, after-the-fact, because things didn’t go as they’d hoped. It’s kind of like…duh.

Jason is no saint, he clearly (also) displayed bad judgment at numerous point during the show and afterwards. But I empathize with him as a parent; You can’t agree to marry someone, or continue to date someone, or have someone around your child whom you know in your heart isn’t going to work out in the long-term. You’d be a bad parent, not to mention a bad partner and a bad friend.

I hope he and Molly are very happy together; Their affection seems genuine to me, and Molly seems like a solid girl. I hope Melissa moves past this experience, avoids any further cattiness (which is ironic, given the things she’s accused Molly of…), and finds some happiness in her life.

KT March 5, 2009, 7:04 PM

You know, American went from loving Jason as the best bachelor ever to hating him in a matter of minutes. Seems like people want to be so critical and judgmental of him changing his mind, yet their own feelings of him quickly changed. Why can’t Jason’s feelings change too? I agree he shouldn’t have proposed if he had any doubts, but if he says that was the way he felt at that moment then I’m ok with that. I have said yes to a proposal and later changed my mind based on circumstances changing the relationship. It happens, get over it. I wish them all much happiness and will continue to watch the show.

Sherry March 5, 2009, 7:26 PM

It’s amazing how many times he’s changed his story. By next week, he’ll have yet another new spin on things.

Anonymous March 5, 2009, 7:56 PM

I thought the show was great right up until this. I always wanted Melissa to win and so I was physced when he proposed. Then on After The Final Rose Jason messed it all up!!! No more dream fantasy for him!


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