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Camp Insanity

posted Tuesday, March 10, 2009
filed under: family
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It's camp sign-up time again! No longer content to sit around and roast s'mores -- kids today demand extreme adventure for your camping dollar.

Used to be, back in the day, going away to camp meant one thing: sleeping in a tent. Now, jaded kids expect more out of their camping experience than singing "Kumbaya" and swatting at mosquitoes.

1) Money 101 Camp
We know we're in a recession but this ridiculous. According to the Money 101 website, during their stay campers get to "consider their options for earning, saving, investing." Good times! Maybe Mr. Banks from Mary Poppins will talk to the kids about the value of tuppence.

2) Spy Camp
The official Web site says it teaches "physical skills, teamwork and critical thinking within the framework of the exciting field of espionage." Useful for those kids who want to use code breaking, surveillance techniques and undercover maneuvers to spy on their siblings.
3) Summer Explosives Camp
If your kid's a pyromaniac, this camp is for him (or her). The Web site says the schedule includes such fun activities as "How to prime and shoot dynamite" and "How to set up and shoot off a fireworks display." Be sure to impress upon kids when they return home "What happens at Explosives Camp stays at Explosives Camp!"
4) Ted Nugent Kamp for Kids
If you want to send your kid off to a camp named after a guy who said "I'm Ted F**ckin' Nugent!" on VH1's Behind the Music, that's your perogative. Promotional materials says it's "Your chance to give the love of bowhunting and archery to a child... a love that will start with their first bull's-eye and never end."

5) Hollywood Stunt Camp
Hurling themselves off 40-foot buildings and platforms might be a dream come true for those kids who worship action heroes like Jean-Claude Van Damme, but for moms who worry their kid might get a splinter whittlin' at a regular camp, this one is not for you.

6) Wagon Train Camp
The Old West comes alive as campers sleep in real covered wagons, eat in the Outpost, and purchase items from the Trading Post. Hopefully, it doesn't offer the more realistic fare that befell the real pioneers like saddle sores and dysentery.


next: Baby's First ... Hair Gel?!
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