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How to Diss Your Doctor -- Nicely

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Not satisfied with your doc and thinking about making a switch? Here's how to do it -- the smooth way.

frustrated woman and her doctor

Momlogic's Talitha: I have been seeing the same OB/GYN for over ten years, but recently I've had this nagging feeling that I should consider switching. Mistakes were slipping through the cracks, she wasn't as attentive, and frankly, I wasn't happy with the service. On the other hand, she has ten years of my history, she knows me and all of my issues, and I am quite comfortable there. If I do decide to move, how do I break up with her the right way? Momlogic's Dr. Suzanne Gilberg-Lenz who gave me the 411 on how to do it the right way:

Dr. Gilberg-Lenz's advice:

Openly discuss the issues that are making you feel like you need to seek care elsewhere with your doc, or at least let him or her know that you need to transfer care. Although it may be awkward to have this conversation, it's the mature thing to do, especially after such a long relationship. Most of us do not take it super personally. It's not that we don't care for and about our patients and our relationships with them, but the patient has to take responsibility for her care and if she is not satisfied in some way, it is incumbent upon her to make changes.

Dr. Lenz says there is such a person that is never satisfied with their care, and that switching around until they get what they want, which may not be the most appropriate. Ultimately, says Dr. Lenz, "It's just like any other relationship."

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2 comments so far | Post a comment now
The Mother March 2, 2009, 8:55 AM

If a patient is unhappy or unsatisfied, most doctors would RATHER the patient found another doctor.

I’m not sure I’d burn a copay and an hour in the waiting room to have that discussion. Legally, your records belong to you. Get a form from your new doctor’s office, sign it, and deliver it to your old doctor. Your new doc should get your records quickly.

dinah  April 24, 2009, 1:02 PM

I recently spoke up when a message was taken and the Dr never recieved it. My intention was only to find out what happened and in the end the Dr called me back essentially telling me if I am unhappy to leave……I am happy, just was worried when the receptionist and dr told me different things. Unfortunately I think the wrong message gt through and the Dr probably doesnt want me as a patient. I however do not want to switch Dr.


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