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Katie Wisdom Weinstein: Facebook mommy excited there was no tinkle in the diaper today!

woman using a computer

Facebook mommy is ... trying to find friends on FB so I don't kill my children.

I love Facebook and I am a mom. Those two things are mutually exclusive. I have Facebook so that I can look up old boyfriends and possibly regain some of the popularity I had in Middle School. I do not use Facebook to get child rearing advice from total strangers. There are some twisted, weird moms out there!

Now, let's clarify. Most of my Facebook friends are not my real friends. Ouch. I know, 7th grade, right? Exactly. But I do not want to know about the FB tinkle -- those are inner family celebrations. I do not want to give advice to other people about their baby's rashes. What I do want is to look closely at the babies and the children and decide if I am doing a better job than you. I know you are doing the same.

I do not really want my FB friends to meet my kids in person. My kids will call each other "douchebag" and blow my perfect-mom cover. They will quote Family Guy and you will know I let my kids watch totally inappropriate shows. I prefer posting the occasional moment of brilliance picture. I might have a Facebook fa├žade.

If you search Facebook Mommies you will a find a startling amount of groups. I even found a website that helps mommies hook up nationally so you can then go "Friend" each other on Facebook! Is it loneliness? Is it the need to have something in common with the other two billion mothers in the world? I was shocked to find that the same website has something called the "showdown", where "Showdowns are a just-for-fun way to challenge another mom to a photo contest. Cast your vote!" I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Do not Facebook Friend me, you evil version of a mother. This parenting business is not a contest!

I have three dear friends and they do not go on and on about their children on Facebook. We know how to go have a good glass of wine and dish about everyone we know. We talk old boyfriends, husbands, admit our faults and talk children. If we talk a little First Poop on the Potty, it means something. We do this face to face, not on Facebook.

next: Shocking! Teens on Sexting
9 comments so far | Post a comment now
Mon March 20, 2009, 2:00 PM

I like you :)

Angela March 20, 2009, 3:14 PM


Michele March 20, 2009, 3:57 PM

That was great and well written going to foward to my sister :)

Karen April 21, 2009, 3:10 PM

I knew I wasnt the only one who let their kids watch Family Guy and other inappropriate shows…this was perfect - you know I’m trying to find the “Showdown” stuff you mentioned just so I could tsk tsk and smh all day.

MelissaF April 22, 2009, 9:16 PM

Ha! This is funny! Can I “friend” you? LOL!

I have pictures of my wee one, but don’t even like to discuss her on Facebook. The people I “know” face-to-face know her as well, and I like that just fine.

No cyber-information-upload/download on the wee one…

Sam April 23, 2009, 5:02 PM

What a rockin’ mom!!! I really enjoy your blogs! keep ‘em coming.

Jim Price May 1, 2009, 3:51 AM

Hi Katie,
Glad to see you’re still trying to take on the world.
Come back to Wales and see us sometime
Love to Jess and the kids

Carmina Yonts November 16, 2010, 5:37 PM

This is a good blog message, I will keep the post in my mind. If you can add more video and pictures can be much better. Because they help much clear understanding. thanks

Chantell Simington November 16, 2010, 5:41 PM

big + for you, regards

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