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My First Pregnancy vs. My Fourth

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Have multiple kids? Then you'll relate to this!
happy pregnant woman and grumpy woman

Rabbi Sherre Hirsch:

When I announced I was pregnant the first time, everyone was overjoyed.
When I announced I was pregnant the fourth time, everyone thought I was insane.

The first time, when I craved pickles and ice cream, my husband ran to the store.
This time, when I ask for spicy hummus and pita, he tells me it will pass.

The first time, everyday was an exciting new adventure.
This time, I am counting down the days.

The first time, I could not wait to get the bump so I could wear the clothes.
This time, the bump could not wait for me. (I was showing at week two!)

The first time, being pregnant was my job.
This time, it is interfering with my many other jobs.

The first time, when I was tired, I took a nap.
This time, when I am tired, I still have to keep up with three other kids.

The first time, taking my yoga class for pregnant moms, I was now officially part of the club.
This time, spending time with 15 other hormonal woman sounds horrifying.

The first time, the pregnancy was a marvel.
This time, I am taking it for granted.

The first time, I saw the our son Emet, it was a miracle.
This time, god willing, when I see the baby, it will remind me that miracles are still possible.



next: Darn Time Change! My Kid Won't Sleep!
15 comments so far | Post a comment now
dee March 7, 2009, 10:30 AM

congratulations! i still get excited by pregnancy. i had six myself with only one pregnancy that made me want to sleep 24/7. with the others i had abundant energy and nice calm sweet babies. the one who made me sick never slept was very needy and is now my best friend.

cyndi March 7, 2009, 4:47 PM

I can relate! I have 7 children, ages 6 to 26…The comments from people when I was pregnant with the 5th, 6th, and 7th were not only disrespectful and rude, but very hurtful sometimes. I will never understand the judgements from people—we have never asked anyone to pay, raise or otherwise do our parenting. We have 7 responsible, respectful, polite, well-behaved children—one in the Air Force, two in Bible college studying to be pastors, and 4 ranging from kindergarten to high school. My kids are sought after by older people because they know my kids will be happy to help them out and have been known to show up un-asked to do yard work and house work for elderly people. Why the negativity? My later pregnancies were appreciated more because we always thought “this might be the last” and our babies were cherished and doted on by all their siblings from the day they met them. They’re all close and stay in touch—what more could a mom ask? It’s hard for me to be humble when it comes to my kids—they’re awesome! If I could tell young marrieds anything, I would tell them not to cut off their fertility options without a few years of soul-searching (there’s good birth control out there!) The best thing we EVER did for our older kids is have their younger siblings!

leelee March 7, 2009, 5:06 PM

Congrats! I only have two myself, and it’s enough for me, but I’m #2 of 7 and loved having little ones around. It makes me appreicate my siblings more and I have many happy momories and stories to share with my kids. I truely believe you and hubby will let you know when you’re done (God will put it in your hearts) don’t let anyone else tell you when to stop. Try to enjoy it when you can!

Tracy March 7, 2009, 6:23 PM

Congratulations! I have
had 8 pregnancies but,
only 4 births,
unfortunately.

I LOVE my babies (10 and under)
and wouldn’t change anything for
the world. After two, it seems
as though people make more off-handed
comments such as “are you nuts to want
to have more” “are you sure” “can’t
you be happy with the two you
have” and so on!

It is so rude and selfish to try and
squelch someone else’s feelings or
excitement when a pregnancy happens.
Kids are awesome! They are defintely
a lot of work, but well worth it. And
the only two people who can decide
on what is best for their
lives are the two living
it-you and your partner:)

Steph March 7, 2009, 8:32 PM

I had a fourth child after giving birth to twins. Some people made comments like “fertile myrtle”, or aren’t you done yet, but I didn’t care. I enjoyed each pregnancy and would do it again if my eggs weren’t dried up

MelissalynnF March 7, 2009, 9:49 PM

Congrats! I think people make comments no matter what you do. We have three boys and we still get people asking us why we haven’t tried for a girl. I usually try to answer with a simple, “We were done with three.” Then if people keep pushing I will tell them that I was told not to have anymore due to health issues. It annoys me that people are so rude sometimes!

Danielle March 8, 2009, 12:59 PM

Soo true! When I found out I was having my 4 th baby, alot of people thought I was insane. My first baby everyday was new and exciting, buy my 4 th I just wanted it done. I miss it now.

Shmushcaboubie March 8, 2009, 2:23 PM

So here’s my thing if I could comfortably afford to I’d probably not stop having kids until I couldnt anymore right now I have 2. My sister in law however is currently pregnant with #5 which I would have no problems with if they could afford to but they can’t afford the ones they already have. A few months after becoming preggo w #5 she quit her job told people it was because her docter advised her 2 do so(thought yeh right immediatly) a few months later she admitted it was to get on food stamps. I almost stroked out ok I have no problems w people who NEED to be on food stamps welfare ect but dont decide you want even one child let alone more and make my tax dollars pay for it when I have 2 children and me and my husband both work full time jobs opposite shifts so we dont have to pay for daycare and it SUCKS for us but we do what we need to do because we created our children and their our responcibilities.

Nikki March 8, 2009, 2:36 PM

Hey Shmushcaboubie- could you ramble on a little more, please?? Especially considering the crap you wrote has nothing to do with this article… way to go!

Gwen March 8, 2009, 7:12 PM

With our first son, everyone congratulated us. With our second son everyone told us that’s great. When we found out we were pregnant with a girl everyone said that’s fantastic, finally a girl. With our fourth, a boy, everyone asked if we were crazy.

Melanie V March 8, 2009, 11:11 PM

After reading this, I can’t wait to have kids!! I’m scared, but I know how much joy is going to come when I hold my baby for the first time.

Nicole August 1, 2010, 1:34 PM

Great article! Can totally relate having four children myself.
However, I would caution anyone against taking any pregnancy or child for granted. For women who struggle with infertility, a pregnancy taken for granted is like a slap in the face. For women who have had multiple miscarriages, stillborn children or infant deaths within the first year, taking the birth of a baby for granted is also a slap in the face.

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mockingjay March 15, 2011, 12:23 PM

I am constantly invstigating online for posts that can help me. Thank you! %WEBSITE%

Jamie May 5, 2011, 10:42 AM

This was great I am pregnant with our 4th our 1st girl thanks I just hit 6 months and am thinking oh please let these 3 months go quickly but it is nice just to feel our baby moving and knowing I have a little more time to let our 3 year old be the baby


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