Christina Montoya Fiedler: It's always been hard for me to accept help. It's part of my type-A personality - the get-it right-the-first-time, bring-it-on attitude that's been with me since the beginning. Blame it also on the strong woman role models in my life. Mexican women are by nature, go-getters. We take it all on, no matter what, and we are the focal point of our families -- the masa that binds it all together.
But with my new mommy title, which was added to my wife title and working woman title, and so on ... help is what I need sometimes, and help is "gulp" what I must accept. It's all a part of letting go, the physical and mental act of forgetting things that were once important and moving on to the here and now.
This is something that is very hard for new moms to do. And, I'm not talking about just one type of letting go. There are MANY:
Letting Go ... of the Old You. You are no longer the party hoping, social butterfly you once were. On Friday nights you're more likely to be found on the couch, snuggly with your family rather than all dolled up and talking over cosmos with your girlfriends. But you realize there's no place you'd rather be. Everything you need is right there on that couch.
Letting Go ... of the Little Things. Your house used to be immaculate but now, you don't know when the last time you vacuumed was or when your ironing is ever going to get done. For a "clean freak" like me, this was especially hard. Time is better spent eating a meal with you family or getting some fresh air with baby on a mid-afternoon walk. You find yourself saying, "Let the dishes wait," and can't believe it's actually you who said it!
Letting Go... of Your Baby. I'm talking about physically, when you dare let other people take care of him even for a few hours. This was the hardest part of letting go for me, because no one knows your baby like you do. I even had a hard time leaving him with my mom for the first time, but once I got back home from my outing I realized he barely knew I was gone.
The realization? In letting go, you gain so much more -- the ability to raise a human being from a baby to a responsible, well-rounded adult; the creation of room in your heart for more love than you ever thought was possible; and the perspective of parenting that lets you know what your parent's must have felt as they raised you just a few decades ago.
In letting go, you commit yourself to a new life -- one that you wouldn't change for the world.
|Christina Montoya Fiedler resides in Los Angeles, CA, with husband Andy and her son Joseph. She juggles baby and work from home as a freelance publicist and attributes her strong love for life and sense of humor to her loving familia.|
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