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Just a Guy Raising Two Boys

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A single dad shares his story.

father and sons watching

I have been writing a dad's column for several years. My parenting background seems to have included many of the most common challenges. As an older parent to begin with (having my first son 5 days after turning 40), I made the choice to quit my so-called glamorous showbiz career and stay at home with my two boys (a second son was born 3 years later).

My wife was a workaholic and eventually, not surprisingly, our marriage ended. The surprise was that she abandoned the state and boys, leaving me to raise them alone. I found, for all the goodwill out there supposedly for dads, that I was isolated at PFA meetings and other mom get-togethers. Other dads, for the most part, worked and had little time to discuss changing diapers and toilet training a 4-year-old.

Add dating into the mix and I faced yet another challenge. Babysitters, extra expenses, and secrets (when do I tell them I'm dating and when do I introduce someone I've dated for a while?). Did I mention our two big dogs? My wife's contribution was to make our divorce as costly and difficult as possible.

We survived well. Challenges help us grow, and my boys and me definitely grew (my teen is now 6'2" and still going). I met, online, a wonderful woman who became my second (and last) wife this past December 2008. She was divorced, but had no children. Now, we have the additional challenge of a new member to our family, a stepmom with no experience raising kids and one of mine now a full-fledged teen.

I like to think I can write about any and all of the challenges of parenting, having now lived through most of them. But, you be the judge as ... after all, I'm just a guy.

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28 comments so far | Post a comment now
Sheryl Katzovitz April 19, 2009, 5:09 PM

Thanks for the refreshing honesty in your blogs; you show great integrity in all you’ve done for your kids
Keep up the good work!

wendy April 19, 2009, 7:54 PM

I think that you definatley have what it takes to write a blog about parenting! Sometimes I have felt that I’m raising a husband and two daughters and wish he would participate more but then I might complain about that too!

kathy April 20, 2009, 7:59 AM

Your life experience is one many can identify with. I like your perspective and am anxious to hear what you have to say on many other issues that parents face.

Colleen April 21, 2009, 12:48 AM

Good writing, to the point, honest, and practical. It shows that you are willing to make the strides to do what it takes to make a good life. thanks for writing.

Mimi April 22, 2009, 7:04 PM

VERY interesting POV…

Clover  April 30, 2009, 7:21 PM

Nice, first of all, to find a man who takes on parenting responsibility with such gusto. Even though it seems to have been out of default- not every man would become the UberDad you seem to have morphed into.
I am a single mom of 2 boys (12 and 7) and also began my parenting gig at about the same time I started needing glasses to read the Children’s Tylenol bottles. Nothing easy about any of it. I’ve dated a little and it was incredibly stressful - juggling everyone’s feelings and readiness for a new person in the mix. My ex is a doting dad albeit a bit of a hobo, sad to say. I will check in on your blogs more often, since you seem to be getting it right as far as I’m concerned.

Tfngkqih June 27, 2009, 7:47 PM

snYazk comment1 ,

Ten Tees January 8, 2011, 4:27 PM

Nice information. Enjoyable and fun reading. I’ve got one observation to submit about funny t-shirts.

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