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More and More Married Moms Having Affairs

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Hear their true confessions.

Cheating seems to be everywhere this week!

Yesterday, married country crooner LeAnn Rimes and her co-star, married father of two Eddie Cibrian, were accused of cheating.

Then today on "Good Morning America," they featured married mothers who were having affairs and meeting men on sites like AshleyMadison.com. One mom said her husband gives more attention to her son than her, so she gets her "needs" met elsewhere.

We spoke to Noel Biderman, a 37-year-old married father of two and Chief Operating Officer of Ashley Madison, for some insight ...

Momlogic: You're married with two children--does this mean you cheat as well?
Noel Biderman:
I've only been married for five years, but I see how easy it is to cheat -- the first year of marriage, the birth of your first baby, work stress. However, I am faithful. My wife has emotional and physical needs I must meet. If I don't, she may cheat on me. And believe me, I'd be crushed if that were to happen, but I'd also have to face the reasons why. I don't believe in 'til death do you part' if you're miserable. People believe they should stick out the marriage even if it's killing them. That's no way to live.

ML: Why did you create Ashley Madison?
NB: I didn't invent cheating -- it's been around since the dawn of time. I am simply creating an easy platform for people to stray. Ashley Madison doesn't provide alibis or any sort of screening. We just connect people, then let them make their own decisions. However, we do have fraud detection and an anti-harassment policy so users can report people who abuse the system. We also encourage building a rapport with a person before going offline and taking things to the next level. It's just not safe to hand out your personal e-mail address to someone you just met.

ML: Are you helping or hurting marriages?
NB: For some people, cheating allows them to be a better spouse. If you're going through a rough patch in your marriage or are sexually frustrated, finding a quick outlet can help. And I get thanked for it every day. Many people write to me saying Ashley Madison has saved their marriage -- and that without the opportunity to stray, they would be divorced by now. But I also get my share of hate mail. Some people think I am the devil.

ML: Who is your typical Ashley Madison customer?
NB: Seventy percent of our users are men, but women are logging on in droves. Our research found women are joining the site after one or two years of marriage, while men wait until five or seven years. It could be because many women want to get married young and when they finally do, many realize it's not what they signed up for. Men join our site later because in general, they have more outlets to channel their sexual energy -- strip clubs, for example. However, most people cheat when something isn't right in the relationship. Everyone has needs, and it's a struggle to spend your life trying to meet someone else's. Cheating isn't about finding someone better looking. It's about not getting your needs met -- that's when people cheat.

Can you relate? Do you or any of your friends cheat?



next: Why Maternity Leave is Becoming Extinct
37 comments so far | Post a comment now
Jodi March 19, 2009, 6:38 PM

What ever happened to communicating with your partner? If their is a problem in your relationship- having and affair is NOT the answer. Have enough respect for yourself, your spouse and your family to sit down with your partner and figure a way to fix it. Please don’t embarrass yourself or the ones who love you by straying to try and fix what’s wrong. It’s irresponsible of Mr. Biderman to tell people that cheating is a good way to try and fix their marital problems. If the site is for people to find hook ups then define it as so and not as a possible therapy session. It just makes us all more dumb for hearing him try to pass it off as anything different.

Bec Thomas March 19, 2009, 11:00 PM

Poeple have been cheating since the advent of monogamy. Both sexs cheat with great regularity and always have. this site was just bound to happen. What I don’t get is how these people have so much time for sex. I just have way better things to do with my time then set up illecit liasions for a limited thrill.

Shay March 20, 2009, 1:51 AM

Sometimes, talking NEVER works, no matter how hard you try. Ladies, let’s be real, all relationships aren’t like yours so you can’t understand. The ONLY thing that keeps me from cheating is self worth and values …

Atlanta Private Investigator March 20, 2009, 8:56 AM

Studies have shown that the first flush of love is just a chemical reaction that fades after a year.

The euphoria, feelings of dependence, and stomach butterflies that envelop new lovers are the effects of nerve growth factor (NGF), a protein that floods the blood-stream a the onset of a romantic relationship.

The University of Pavia in Italy found that bv the time most of the 58 couples they studied had been together for a year, their NGF levels had been returned to normal. Even if they still loved each other, it wasn’t the same as when they’d first fallen in love.

Interesting article, thank you for sharing.

tracy March 20, 2009, 12:42 PM

Really ‘Alanta Private Investigator’? Guess the study is wrong in my case, because I still get butterflies in my stomach when I see my husband, and we have been married for a while.

Jodi March 20, 2009, 1:04 PM

Shay- My point is if talking doesn’t work, then sleeping with someone else certainly won’t help either. Get a divorce. Don’t be selfish and self indulgent. If you made a promise to love someone through thick and thin you have a duty to honor that promise. If you or they can no longer fulfill that promise- then get a divorce. After which you can sleep with who ever you want.

The_Adulterer March 20, 2009, 3:57 PM

I have me many women from Ashley Madison as a result of being in a sexless marriage. I love my wife but sex is a need that can not be ignored

Roxanne March 22, 2009, 11:01 PM

My husband was addicked to Himself and XXX movies, magazines and internet. So I had to have an affair with the snowplow man to get some lovin.

Angelique March 23, 2009, 12:08 AM

I didn’t know when I got married that my husband wanted me for a tax write-off, cleaning lady and someone to verbally abuse. When I realized what he was all about, I couldn’t stand to have sex with him. I wish I would have divorced him, when we came home from the honeymoon. I waited for the marriage to get better, but it got worse everyday. If I had to stay in the marriage, I would have cheated out of spite and anger.

Tiffany March 24, 2009, 4:25 AM

I live in an apartment building with a laundry room. My husband never helps me with the laundry and he is not much for passion either. So I take the laundry to the laundry room by myself. I have ordinary clothes over my halter top and mini skirt. Once I am in the laundry room, I go into the bathroom there and remove the ordinary clothes. I toss them in the laundry basket and go out to meet my exciting and passionate lover. We go to the theater and dinner and have passionate dessert at his place. My husband doesn’t even miss me and when I come home I feel like I’ve been on a fantabulous vacation.

tabei March 25, 2009, 7:31 PM

sometimes you just have 2 do what you gotta do………simple as that!

Tori March 29, 2009, 2:23 PM

I have never been married & but I have been the other woman twice. I understand many of the points being made, but what some people are ignoring is the emotional backfire of cheating. One person always gets attached & frankly, it usually ends in disaster. I agree, before you cheat, get a divorce or get separated. You can never leave an affair unscathed.

Andy May 7, 2009, 5:33 AM

Cheating is lying so if you are a cheater then you are also a liar. It is never necessary to cheat, anyone who believes that it is is too scared to face up to a failed marriage and tell there spouse that they want a divorce. It doesn’t matter if your spouse doesn’t pay attention to you cheating won’t fix it.

KBC May 16, 2009, 5:30 PM

America is #1 in the world for infidelity…need I say anymore? Our morals and self respect faded long ago.

SBC

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