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PiscesReunion Angst
Guest Blogger Jennifer Ginsberg: "Let's do it!" Amy begged, "It'll be fun...."
Amy is one of my best friends and I would do anything for her. This includes attending our 15 year reunion and facing all our eccentric classmates from the LA County High School For the Arts.
I just received the invitation via Facebook, which ironically has reunited me with all the people from high school that I have spent my adult life hiding from.
The evening started with Demetrius, some guy I hardly remembered, asking me "What the hell happened to your boobs?" While his question was clearly the result of verbal diarrhea, it was legitimate, nontheless.
I suppose he remembered my D-Cup Glory, before I had children and breastfed them longer than is considered socially acceptable.
What is a woman to do in this situation? Break down in tears? Immediately book an appointment with a plastic surgeon?
Thankfully, Demetrius didn't wait for my response. "You've got to see my show. It's called 'The Nasty Hip- Hop Gangster Train'. Imagine performance art, rap, and magic all mixed up. Naked chicks are dancing behind us- The Crack Hos. So freaking hot!!"
He blew his cigarette smoke in my husband's face.
"Excuse us!" Amy and I bolted to the bathroom and left my asthmatic husband to deal with the madness.
We came back and I saw an old acting teacher whom I once had a crush on. I remembered him as cute and sexy. What stood before me was a middle-aged, balding, paunchy man wearing nerdy slacks.
I wanted to remember him in all of his glory.
As I suppose Demetrius had wanted to remember my breasts.
I had the courtesy to refrain from asking him, "What the hell happened to your hair?"It was time to leave.
The next morning I had several messages on my Facebook Wall asking me why we left so early.
"Something happened to my boobs..." I responded.
 | Jennifer Ginsberg is a Los Angeles writer and mother to three, surprisingly angst-free children. As a former actress/waitress, turned clinical social worker specializing in addiction, turned full-time mother/part-time psychotherapist/writer, Jennifer is particularly well-versed on the topic of angst. Find out more about her life at angstmom.com |
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- 15 Comments
Classic! I’m forwarding to all my friends. Thanks for the smile.
You zero in so beautifully—and humorously—on the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in the age of Facebook. Not a wasted word either—Brava!
This essay is incredibly hilarious, but also very poignant, and an experience that I think many of us can relate to. Having to face the fact that we have deteriorated in some way since our glory days as teenagers is always a rude awakening!
I burst out laughing at his absurd comment. What he said was outrageously stupid - leave it to a guy to make a comment like that. I love the way you turn a story into something everyone can relate to. I’ve already told all my friends about this…Great stuff!
- Sheila
I had a similar experience at a reunion - i hate men. Of course we all change over time - and most of us for the better. At least you were re-connected with your best friend so with the bad we get to good. Really enjoyed what you had to say - funny, clever, well written. Thanks…
you are hysterical. i love it. i needed this after chasing around 3 kids. keep it coming, girl.
It is so bizarre how long lost relationships are renewed via the Internets. And then to receive word about your reunion? That takes the cake…
I think everyone has had a high school crush on a teacher or the star of the football team. At my reunion, the guy I couldn’t stop thinking about was bald, overweight…and gay! Was good to finally put an end to that chapter. Great stuff!
What a talented writer! This story is hysterical!
Facebook is a blessing and a curse. Sometimes memories should just be left alone. You made me laugh so hard though it might be worth it to go to my next reunion.
I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I do not know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already ;) Cheers!
Undeniably believe that which you said. Your favorite justification appeared to be on the web the easiest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while people think about worries that they plainly don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks
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This is hilarious! And so true, great jog back in time to those reunions. Aging never felt so good. Thanks Jennifer for your humor and transparency.