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Reunion Angst

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Guest Blogger Jennifer Ginsberg: "Let's do it!" Amy begged, "It'll be fun...."

woman looking anxiously at reunion

Amy is one of my best friends and I would do anything for her. This includes attending our 15 year reunion and facing all our eccentric classmates from the LA County High School For the Arts.

I just received the invitation via Facebook, which ironically has reunited me with all the people from high school that I have spent my adult life hiding from.

The evening started with Demetrius, some guy I hardly remembered, asking me "What the hell happened to your boobs?" While his question was clearly the result of verbal diarrhea, it was legitimate, nontheless.

I suppose he remembered my D-Cup Glory, before I had children and breastfed them longer than is considered socially acceptable.

What is a woman to do in this situation? Break down in tears? Immediately book an appointment with a plastic surgeon?

Thankfully, Demetrius didn't wait for my response. "You've got to see my show. It's called 'The Nasty Hip- Hop Gangster Train'. Imagine performance art, rap, and magic all mixed up. Naked chicks are dancing behind us- The Crack Hos. So freaking hot!!"

He blew his cigarette smoke in my husband's face.

"Excuse us!" Amy and I bolted to the bathroom and left my asthmatic husband to deal with the madness.

We came back and I saw an old acting teacher whom I once had a crush on. I remembered him as cute and sexy. What stood before me was a middle-aged, balding, paunchy man wearing nerdy slacks.

I wanted to remember him in all of his glory.

As I suppose Demetrius had wanted to remember my breasts.

I had the courtesy to refrain from asking him, "What the hell happened to your hair?"

It was time to leave.

The next morning I had several messages on my Facebook Wall asking me why we left so early.

"Something happened to my boobs..." I responded.

15 comments so far | Post a comment now
paige March 30, 2009, 11:31 AM

This is hilarious! And so true, great jog back in time to those reunions. Aging never felt so good. Thanks Jennifer for your humor and transparency.

JW March 30, 2009, 2:52 PM

Classic! I’m forwarding to all my friends. Thanks for the smile.

Heather Robinson March 30, 2009, 4:54 PM

You zero in so beautifully—and humorously—on the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in the age of Facebook. Not a wasted word either—Brava!

Katharine March 30, 2009, 4:56 PM

This essay is incredibly hilarious, but also very poignant, and an experience that I think many of us can relate to. Having to face the fact that we have deteriorated in some way since our glory days as teenagers is always a rude awakening!

Sheila March 30, 2009, 7:15 PM

I burst out laughing at his absurd comment. What he said was outrageously stupid - leave it to a guy to make a comment like that. I love the way you turn a story into something everyone can relate to. I’ve already told all my friends about this…Great stuff!
- Sheila

Rose March 30, 2009, 7:44 PM

I had a similar experience at a reunion - i hate men. Of course we all change over time - and most of us for the better. At least you were re-connected with your best friend so with the bad we get to good. Really enjoyed what you had to say - funny, clever, well written. Thanks…

Sandra March 30, 2009, 10:57 PM

you are hysterical. i love it. i needed this after chasing around 3 kids. keep it coming, girl.

Skylar March 30, 2009, 11:03 PM

It is so bizarre how long lost relationships are renewed via the Internets. And then to receive word about your reunion? That takes the cake…

Sharon March 31, 2009, 12:08 AM

I think everyone has had a high school crush on a teacher or the star of the football team. At my reunion, the guy I couldn’t stop thinking about was bald, overweight…and gay! Was good to finally put an end to that chapter. Great stuff!

Heather Burt March 31, 2009, 9:47 AM

What a talented writer! This story is hysterical!

elanit  March 31, 2009, 2:40 PM

Facebook is a blessing and a curse. Sometimes memories should just be left alone. You made me laugh so hard though it might be worth it to go to my next reunion.

erotizm April 3, 2011, 3:24 PM

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