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Ryan: Jason Looked Like a "Complete Jackass"

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After the big time break-up shocker on this season's "The Bachelor," Bachelorette Trista Sutter went off to momlogic about how she felt when Bachelor Jason Mesnick dumped his now ex-fiancee. Now, Trista's husband Ryan puts his two cents in about the shocking turn of events.

Ryan Sutter, Trista Sutter and Jason Mesnick

Guest Blogger Ryan Sutter: Because I actually watched the last hour of "The Bachelor," I thought I would jump into the popular conversation and offer my two cents.

I had not watched a "Bachelor" series since the "Bachelorette" that I was on seven years ago. Why? I don't believe the show holds a very high moral standard and, quite frankly, I don't enjoy reliving a very stressful and exhausting time in my life. That said, I would not change my experience and find my personal hardships a very small price to pay for the resulting life they afforded me. You see love is not easy to come by. Sometimes it embarrasses you. Sometimes it humbles you. And sometimes, as in Jason's case, it makes you look like a complete jackass.

Jason took part in a show that preys on those of weak spine and spirit. He fell victim to a program of intense emotional overload intended to create a narrow tunnel of vision from which only rash and irresponsible decisions could possibly be made. I have no doubt he made the decision he felt was right when he chose Melissa. I'll buy his explanation that when the real world with all of its real world influences and realities came back into play he had second thoughts. At some point, however, Jason needed to realize that the re-entry of the real world meant that he needed to resume his role as a real man. If his feelings for Melissa had changed, he should have told her. There is absolutely no excuse for the savage treatment Jason laid on Melissa's heart. If he truly cared he would have disregarded the request of the show to hold a public break-up. Jason crumbled under the pressure of the production and in the process walked down a path cast with shadows of shame for which he will always be remembered.

Jason had to know the consequences of his choices. His cliche-laden explanations, though weak and uninspiring, are his attempt to justify a decision he is convinced he made for love. If that is truly the case, can we really blame him?

I get emails all the time from people desperate to find love. It seems some people are willing to do most anything for a chance at the queasy-stomached emotion. Still, I would like to believe that when it came right down to it, the majority of the brokenhearted would stop short of blatantly and quite publicly torching the feelings of someone they laid claim to caring for simply to further their own desperate quest for love. Love is a powerful force, capable of providing us with both the cause for stupid decisions and the strength to overcome them. For Jason's sake I hope he found it.

For more from Ryan Sutter visit his website.

next: Bachelor Jason Mesnick Defends Himself
21 comments so far | Post a comment now
lydia March 6, 2009, 10:32 PM

God, I love Ryan.

won March 8, 2009, 9:50 AM

I went to bed last night praying a specific prayer for the second night in a row. I prayed for clarity on a decision with which I grapple with but must be made soon. And then I found this by you Ryan.

I have been going back and forth with the decision to go back on a Hollywood production as a follow-up show to last year’s appearance. So much of what you wrote resonated with me and reminded me clearly of the ill feelings I had when the production was done last year.

My motivation for going this year would have been to show the progress and growth made. That is remarkable and I am proud for me and my family. I felt I needed to put closure on the story but always a little nagging thought in my mind. Then this from you: “I don’t enjoy reliving a very stressful and exhausting time in my life.”

Thanks for being the vessel in which my prayers were answered.

Morning March 8, 2009, 7:39 PM

Well said Ryan! I appreciate your intelligent thoughts.

stacy March 9, 2009, 9:34 AM

Ryan - you are in no position to put down or judge someone else when you are no model of a “man”. You were on a show where you behaved like a whipped spineless jellyfish of a wimp, you were picked because you were the easiest to control and would keep taking the control and nonsense with a smile, whereas any other man would have said they’re not putting up with this, they have their own minds and will not let some woman who thinks she’s god’s gift to men make them in to yes dear types. I watch the show for a few seasons and while I think Jason could have handled things better, I would never post a blog if I were someone who had no spine and spent all my time giving everything to some girl who thinks she’s so great and that everyone wants her, as she did on the dancing show. You should spend your time growing a backbone and teaching your moocher wife humility and modesty instead of putting down a self sufficient man who’s man source of income isn’t mooching off networks by claiming they’ve never been pleased and overusing the “bachelorette” title to get baby showers and parties thrown for them. I loved when the producers of DWTS said they made a mistake which is why trista was the first one of the whole series ever voted off, even though she didn’t have the lowest score. Look in the mirror before you judge someone else.

melissa March 9, 2009, 10:00 AM

I agree with Stacy. Thank goodness someone is finally telling Trista “off” and telling it like it is. Let’s not forget that Ryan and Trista were paid $1 million to marry each other and kept their manager Kevin’s share of it because they thought they were owed it as a present. I can’t stand people that are moochers and leeches and think they are experts in parenting and marriage. I do agree with the part also that Ryan was always very spineless and that’s why he was picked, Trista wanted to control someone and tell them what to like and do, and Ryan is susceptible and gullible. Dont forget Trista’s rude and spoiled behavior throught the bachelor and bachelorette. What’s sad is that Trista was already annoying, selfish and spoiled. Ryan was ok but does whatever she wants and lost his own self by doing everything she said in order to get more presents and then calling it “love”. Ryan get a clue, you were ok and now you’re both moochers and leeches. Tell her to get a job and teach her humility.

tina March 9, 2009, 10:02 AM

Ryan - jump right back out and take your ugly wife with you. Dont you have another party to go to that everybody paid for, except you. Momlogic please get rid of Trista, they whored themselves for 1 million dollars, leave them alone now.

me March 9, 2009, 12:04 PM

wow, some people have a vendetta against Trista and obviously has followed her thru the years. Bottom line, Ryan is a gentalman in every sense of the word and Jason is not.

anonymous March 9, 2009, 12:23 PM

I think what you mean to say is that Ryan never stood up to trista and kept saying yes dear whatever you want. Why do you think Trista always has that wide open mouth dazed look. She’s so dumb and loves controlling Ryan and taking pics where they just have goofy smiles. It’s sad they’re bringing kids into this. But that’s not the point, the point is that momlogic should quit paying this couple tons of money and throwing them parties, you’re encouraging getting something or a lot for nothing. I think Ryan is a nice guy BUT he should’ve seen through Trista’s “shallow” behavior as it was called several times by guys on the bachelorette and producers of 2 different shows. She’s obnoxious, spoiled and rude. Ryan fell right in to what she shouldn’t have gotten which is someone to keep enabling that spoiled person with zero modesty. Why are they passing themselves off as experts on marriage. If anything, Jason is better then Ryan because Jason (unlike Ryan) didn’t say to himself (the way Ryan did)…”I want free stuff and trips and gifts and to sponge off networks so Im going to stay with this girl”. If Ryan really believed it was about something “real” he would have turned down all the unreal stuff like expensive gifts. You can’t be a hypocrite. Jason was honorable and didn’t go through withsomething just to get tons of stuff the way spoiled rude Trista did.

sorry March 9, 2009, 12:34 PM

you women should walk a mile in someone else’s shoes before you go off on their character. You think they are people on a show, when they have a real life, everyday that doesn’t invole the Bachelor. I would take anything the network wanted to give me and be happy, just like them, no harm no foul. It doesn’t make them any less real that they get freebies. It’s the way the world works. They have proved they are a commited family and you ladies sound SO jealous and someone else’s good fortune. They had no baggage when they started out as a couple, and still don’t. You may be holier than thou with these attitudes, but Trista & Ryan has always been grateful and blessed

larisse March 9, 2009, 12:44 PM

Um….well apparently Ryan thinks he has “walked a mile in someone else’s shoes” to pass judgment on Jason. So, why dont you all (including Ryan) practice what you preach. It sounds like you’re saying that everybody can be as rude as they want to Jason but they can’t to Ryan. Whatever. Ryan is not holier than thou as you say, which is what it sounds like you’re really getting at. Ryan is throwing stones when he has no right to…if he hasn’t walked a mile in Jason’s shoes. You’re trying to defend Ryan’s position but your argument contradicts itself. Contradiction - #2 of yours - the way the world works also involves some things not working out, before Ryan crucifies Jason for something that falls under “the way the world works” category…he should think about what he himself has done which is be a subservient wimp to someone who should have been put in her place for being shallow and spoiled instead of being given money and parties - not to mention to $1 million. that’s not the “way the world works sweetheart”.

momofthree March 9, 2009, 2:17 PM

I agree. Trista was a horrible person on the shows she was on. Which is why she kept getting booed off, I also saw the dancing show and thought that was the great that someone finally wasn’t just saying yes you’re great, because she’s not. She needs a job. There are zillions of women that have careers and are mothers too but Trista has this weird mentality that she thinks she is the first one to ever be pregnant and therefore has to talk about it for years on end. How about talking about being a mother on top of working like crazy, but Trista doesn’t work, she just mooches! I agree with the article that said “enough already” about her. That article title couldn’t be more accurate of readers.

Morning March 9, 2009, 8:43 PM

Wow! did I miss something here? Trista and Ryan have been nothing but solid! I never saw Trista as shallow or dumb. Makes me wonder if Jillian will get the same treatment. As people often confuse confident, intelligent women as “controlling”. Ryan, just like the rest of us, has a right to share his opinion and I appreciate his thoughts from an “insiders” perspective. You may not agree with his opinion, that’s okay, you’re entitled. However, my opinion is still the same: They are a solid, intelligent couple who have earned the right to give an opinion.

momofthree March 10, 2009, 9:08 AM

Morning - if you watched the bachelor or even the bachelorette (which my kids made me watch but anyways - it doesn’t matter because trista still lives off the title “bachelorette”) you would have heard tons of men on the bachelorette call her shallow because she thought people who lived in apartments weren’t good enough for her. All you have to do is watch any of the interviews on tv that they keep popping up on and ryan never says a word, it’s always trista speaking for him, there’s a difference between an intelligent woman and a woman who is greedy, wants $1 million despite contracts saying she has to give her manager a certain amount, and someone who wants more and more and more presents and wedding parties, and now baby showers etc etc etc. As the momlogic article says “Enough already trista”. Trista’s main way to get people interested in her was to walk and talk like a 2 year old and present people with the challenge of satisfying her and giggle about it in a way which made my 3 daughters ask what is wrong with her. If you think this makes a “confident, intelligent woman” more power to you. You should also have seen the dancing show where her ego was so huge she thought everybody in the world wanted her, which couldn’t be more untrue. The producers were interviewed later and said she had a horrible attitude that wasn’t humble at all. She put other people down, put down where they live, their families, the one she kept was the one she could mold and control, and it shows by the way he never says anything or stands up to her.

Morning March 10, 2009, 4:15 PM


Hmmm…I had not heard about her “horrible attitute” on the dancing show. Where did you hear about this? I really appreciated Trista on Bachelor and Bachelorette because of her opinionated banter. Mind you, she does giggle and dote, but women often look silly when flirtatious. So much better than someone like Molly from the last season who is so dull, clueless, and shallow. Nonetheless, I appreciate your thoughts and will be sure not to be too wooed by these over-simplistic reality show starlets….ha! I’m pretty sure we’ve given them enough attention….peace!

mom March 11, 2009, 4:09 PM

You can even see the e-mail trista sent around begging people to vote for her even if they didn’t know her or heard about her, there was a huge article about “vote-whoring” back then, if you google it, you could probably still find it along with the producers comments about her selfish and rude attitude which is why she was the 1st one ever cut even though she didn’t have the lowest score.

candy July 13, 2010, 6:02 AM

Ryan used to be somewhat decent, but just because his airhead ugly wrinkled wife told him she was going to start hating on Jason, he did too. But then when they got a free trip to Jason’s wedding, of course they jumped on it. ridiculous. Trista was paid to write an article on “what a jerk and how fickle” Jason is…so she did it. Then she was paid to attend Jason’s wedding so she did it. and she has the nerve to pass herself off as someone with convictions. Ryan - instead of begging everyone to give money to your charity - aka those people who work for a living and not sit on their butt like your wrinkled wife - take some of the $1 million you mooched off networks to pay for it. You used to be ok but now you’re just like your greedy wife, you want other people to give you money to buy stuff ($1 million) and now you want OTHER people to give you money again. WHen people see you do something besides mooch, they’ll be inclined to give. But when they work for a living and dont get $1million to sit on their butts like you and your ugly wife, they dont want to give you money.

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