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Bad Self-Esteem = Bad Sex

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Your self-esteem can affect your sex life.

Woman looking at the mirror

Guest blogger Karrine Steffans: Most every woman has at least one thing about herself that drives her absolutely nuts. Maybe it's that back fat that snuck up on you after your last child was born or that regrettable hair cut and dye job that sent your tresses into permanent shock. Whatever it is, you can't seem to get a handle on it and all those seemingly flawless women on television and in magazines aren't helping your plight or your self-esteem.

Many times, when your self-esteem suffers, so does your sex life. A man can sense insecurity a mile away and, though your husband may try his best to help you realize just how beautiful and perfect you are, if you don't snap out of it, he'll begin to see what you see.

Insecurity is one of the most unattractive traits in a woman and no man, no matter how much he loves you, can make you love and appreciate yourself more. How you feel about yourself depends solely on what you do to improve the quality of your life.

For women on a budget, don't think that self-improvement has to cost you more that a little time and effort. If your issues are physical, you're in luck, because physical transformations are some of the easiest to perform. A simple girl's makeover night can do wonders. Drugstore products and a little bit of smart shopping at discount stores can make any woman feel brand new.

If your issues are psychological, that's okay too, because there are professionals out there trained to help. Between local free services and your insurance, you can afford to get the help you need. Point being, do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better; it'll help your marriage and help your husband feel better about you.

This topic and more can be found in The Vixen Manual; How to find, Seduce & Keep the Man You Want, July 13th. More at

next: What Color is Your Pee?
51 comments so far | Post a comment now
yasmyn April 3, 2009, 8:36 PM

Okay, wow! My father once told me you can’t give advice about something until you’ve experienced it. Have any of you ever thought that maybe her advice comes from so many bad experiences. And the fact that she was women enough to let her experiences be known does make her a little bit better than the closet hoes that hide what they do. And what bothers me is the fact that everybody has something wrong with them. You people judge her like you know her personally. Whether some of you want to admit it or not what she’s saying is true, self confidence does make sex better. When you feel good about you, you have better experiences in life. Now whether you like Karrine is a whole other story. But don’t discount good advice because of the character of the person. Like I always say “learn to see beyond the character of the person to the truth of the matter some times God puts people in those places so that you don’t have to go.”

Anonymous April 6, 2009, 12:01 PM

I definitely understand where you are coming from when you say how a womans self esteem may effect her sex life and relationships. i saw a few people commented how you say that you womans self esteem is solely based on their sex life. females that is NOT what she is saying. Read and comprehend before writing a whole paragrapgh on nothing. I also think it is ignorant to come on this womans website and insult her by calling her out of her name(superhead)I think is sad how other women feel they have to belittle someone else who is simply trying to voice there opinion based on experiences of their own. it shows just how you feel about your selves. Karrine, ignore the haters girl. you turned your life around and your making money the right way! most of these women who come on this site to belittle you are all worthless themselves!!

CourtneySalter April 6, 2009, 7:44 PM

wow i totaly commend u ms. karrine steffans for being so honest with the world. u have inspired me tremendously regarding so many things, considering that i am trying to break into the industry myself. u have infromed me on what to expect and i love your spirit for that god bless you! as for the comment below, that hurts my heart taht someone can carry such ignorances upon there lives, they are clearly hatign on ur success and too state somethign that cruel must be marinatign in there on self contious issues. i think u have made a beautiful transformation and i believe in u!!!!!!!!! i know this is crazy, but heres my email

Ravion April 15, 2009, 8:15 PM

I will be praying for you….it’s never too late to change sister.

chase internet banking October 18, 2010, 1:58 AM

So not really on the same topic as your post, but I found this today and I just can’t resist sharing. Mrs. Agathe’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you the check. Oh, and by the way…don’t worry about my Doberman. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT under ANY circumstances talk to my parrot!” When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Agathe’s apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Doberman he had ever seen. But just as she had said, the dog simply laid there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business. However, the whole time the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!” To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”

Dirty Phone Sex November 12, 2010, 4:34 AM

Dirty Phone Sex
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These are my New Year’s resolutions: 1)Make an effort to make someone’s day brighter once a week. 2) Sustain my GPA, and volunteer far more each on campus and within my community. 3) Get in shape to run the 5k Susan B. Komen run in May/June with my sister 4) Get rid of unnecessary or negative stressors in my life 5) Produce a recipe binder, attempt new things, be more creative with food and eat healthier 6) Make an effort to stay in contact with friends and family. 7) Get far more sleep!

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