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Would You Live with Your Ex?

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CNN reported about a woman and her new hubby who moved back in with her ex-husband to save money. Would you do this?

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Struggling to make ends meet, trying to dig themselves out of debt, Nicole Thompson-Arce and her husband have moved in with her ex-husband. Together, the unlikely threesome of Omaha, Nebraska, is raising two young daughters from the first marriage, reports CNN.

"I knew they were having money problems, so I just asked them to move in," Craig Thompson said. "I figured I'd get to see my girls, my daughters, more often. And Nicole said yes right away."

No longer do they have to shuttle Victoria, 7, and Caitlyn, 6, between two households. As a team, they can parent and be on the same page. Finding a baby sitter is never a problem. They take turns making meals, which they all share.

"We just clicked," Thompson said. "When I tell people, 'I'm living with my ex-wife and her husband,' I get some really strange looks. ...It's different. It's unusual, but it works."

The transition has been smooth and great for the kids, Thompson-Arce said. And for their benefit, irrespective of finances, she thinks it's a living situation they'll stick with for at least five to 10 years. It has, however, taken a little time for the little ones to get the story straight.

Seven-year-old Victoria went back to school after winter break -- and after the whole team had blended under one roof -- and started telling people this: " 'My mommy has two husbands,'" Thompson-Arce remembered. "I was like, 'No, honey, don't tell them that!'"

What she and both men hope the girls are learning is that divorced parents can work together and be friends.

"There are so many families that go through divorce and can never let it go," she said. "I'm thankful, and hopefully our situation can help people rethink things because if they have kids, it's in their best interest to get along."

Financial expert Danielle Hoston says she's not surprised more and more people are moving in with their exes. "People are doing anything and everything they can to cut back on expenses," she says. "The main thing I would recommend is to have a co-habitation agreement that details who's paying for what, and what will happen if one of the parties decides to end the arrangement. That way, everything is all on the table and there are no unpleasant surprises later."

Would YOU do this? Comment below.

next: NFL Player Delayed by Police While Mother-in-Law Was Dying
18 comments so far | Post a comment now
Sarah B March 27, 2009, 1:13 PM

I could NEVER do this… and although it may seem good for their children NOW, I am sure down the road there will be problems

ame i. March 27, 2009, 2:41 PM

I think it is great that it is working out for them right now.
Not all divorced couples loathe the site of each other.
After 2 of my friends divorced and remarried, he and his new wife bought the house next door to her and her new husband. They had 4 kids together and have each had 2 additional kids with their current spouses. All the kids go back and forth between both houses. They all go on vacation together. Each adult’s parents were divorced & remarried also.
Their houses are quite a sight on holidays. They have to rent tables and chairs for meals.

Amy Sorflaten March 27, 2009, 3:00 PM

Not only would I do it, I did. Right after his divorce from the woman he left me for. He was broke, I was broke, and we were spending all our time together with the kids anyway, and I was doing a lot of running back and forth between my house and his. But it only lasted about a year because then he reverted to old behaviors that I hated when we were married, and since HE had let me out of the contract, I didn’t have to put up with it. We remain friends. He does his laundry at my house the nights I’m in school.

Karen March 27, 2009, 3:00 PM

I have. And again it did not work. He is an Aries and I am Capricorn. BIG fights there. Had I known it the first time I’d never married him in the first place, had I known it the second time I wouldn’t have tried to patch the mistake… now I know… Aries are politic lovers I’m a nature lover.. Aries whine & have absolutely NO patience! Caps don’t either but we don’t whine.. we wine,….lolololol

Amy Sorflaten March 27, 2009, 3:01 PM

Not only would I do it, I did. Right after his divorce from the woman he left me for. He was broke, I was broke, and we were spending all our time together with the kids anyway, and I was doing a lot of running back and forth between my house and his. But it only lasted about a year because then he reverted to old behaviors that I hated when we were married, and since HE had let me out of the contract, I didn’t have to put up with it. We remain friends. He does his laundry at my house the nights I’m in school.

Ashley March 27, 2009, 7:30 PM

There’s a reason he’s the EX and NO, I would never do that…. EVER!

Mrs. T March 27, 2009, 10:45 PM

This is what I call a setup from hell! Everyone involved in this should be ashamed of themselves. What kind of example are these people setting for their kids? The men who married this woman are fools especially the recent one.
This is not usual activity from white women.

Amy March 27, 2009, 10:55 PM

Not the usual activity from white women?!?!?!? Can you explain to me what you mean by that?

Mrs. N March 28, 2009, 10:03 AM

So…I have been reading all the things online about my story and I thought I would choose this website to comment on. I certainly didn’t realize it would become “news” all over the internet. This situation that I am in with my ex husband and my current husband is an excellent arrangement. Our children get to see that it is possible to be friends with your ex and see positive relationships working out. My current husband and my ex are great friends, and I mean that seriously. They honestly have a friendship without jealousy or fighting. Our children get to have 3 parents that love them all under the same roof and coming together for a common goal, their proper up bringing and plenty of love. I think that our situation is able to work because we all have different personalities and range in age. We balance each other out. And no, there is nothing sexual involved with my ex and myself. I still love him as a person and as the father of my children, but I am in love with my current husband and my intimacy lies strictly with him. Thanks to those who can understand this, and to the naysayers, you have to have an open mind when it comes to certain things.

ame i. March 28, 2009, 7:55 PM

I love Amy S.’s comments! I was Ame S. before I was widowed.
I was married for 15 years to my first (late) husband after dating him for 4 years. We were married for 8 years before our first of 2 daughters was born. We would not still be married today if he were alive.
It is great when divorced couples can remain friends and put the needs of their children first. Some couples are better off as friends than as spouses.

Yvonnes March 29, 2009, 1:55 AM

In all honesty, and all fairness, I just really don’t think this is appropriate. Considering the fact that sexual relations will occur between the married couple. And sexual relations once occurred between the now divorced couple. This, all beneath the same roof, is simply not going to work, monetary reasons or not. The only thing I see it teaching the kids involved is dysfunctionality.

Rachel March 29, 2009, 6:19 AM

First of all, you got divorced for a reason. Obviously something was not right, and therefore I’m sure the living situation wasn’t ideal either. In which case, it wouldn’t be in the best interest of the children. But hey, every situation is different and I’m not one to judge. But no, personally I would never do this and I’m so thankful that I would never have to think about doing this. That’s the great thing about having a hubby who saves money like crazy :) we’ll never need anyone elses help.

Suzanne April 1, 2009, 12:28 AM

I am doing it right now and it is worst then when we were married. I wish I never moved him back in to the house. Luckily, he is moving out again in a few months. I am a Taurus and he is a Leo. Leo’s are like the lion in the wilds of Africa. Fierce and always out for the kill of a helpless gazelle.

Samantha April 4, 2009, 12:44 AM

I would do it and think it would work out just fine, it’s so important for people to at least try to get along for the kids sake, I think its fabulous when divorced people can get beyond the hurt and remain friends while incorporating any new spouses etcc into the fold. The article doesn’t say anything about it having to be like you were married, you would be able to talk first just the 2 of you and set whatever boundaries you felt were necessary.

Rodrigo F April 10, 2009, 12:48 PM

If it works for them, who are we to say yeah! or nay- so long as the kids are growing up in an environment of honesty and love- hey- sometimes relationships don’t work out because of incompatibility, but that doesn’t make us bad people. This lot have clearly put their egos behind them and bonded as a family. maybe it’s a temporary measure- I think it’s a great example.

Vette April 28, 2009, 2:51 PM

Actually my parents did this for five years. We thought it was unusual but great at the same time. We knew our parents were not romantically involved but knew you have to do whats best for the family regardless if your married or divorce. Kids come first and if that means moving in with your ex so your kids can eat every night or be able to save for a house down the road thats what you do. I thought it was great and because of this I know that once people get divorce they can still be friends and can create a relationship that positive for the children if they put the bitterness and childish behavior behind them and look toward the future.

Janettee May 19, 2009, 10:02 AM

I am living with my ex. Or, rather, he’s living with me and my hubby. It works for us. My husband and I were buying a new home and my ex was homeless and had no family support or anyone at all who cared about him. I’m one of those people who picks animals up on the street, so I couldn’t tell him no. Plus he’s my son’s father, how could I tell my son I let his father stay in a homeless shelter? Anyhow my son doesn’t live with us, he’s been adopted because of my ex’s carelessness (long story, don’t ask)… But he pays rent (not enough that he could afford an apartment, unfortunately) and he helps SOME with chores. It’s getting a little old since he moved in 8 months ago, but we’ve told him he has to be out in 2-4 mos, because it really is uncomfortable. His room is on the other side of our bed, and it’s really weird. We usually wait until he’s not home to have sex… Which means that we don’t have sex much, as he’s usually off when my husband is. Sometimes we just have to be upfront and say “look we really want to have time alone, so get out” (to which he says something rude about us having sex, very annoying)… So I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it… But I can’t resist any living being that needs care, unfortunately:(

Ash May 22, 2010, 5:13 PM

I am considering doing this myself, we dont have kids but we have lots of animals and we dont want to split them up and then with the market we cant sell the house. I am willing to rent the spare room split the mortgage type thing. I think it might be a little wierd but it will give us both a chance to get our feet on the ground. Do you think this a horrible mistake? The marrage was not horrible just didnt love each other as husband and wife more like friends.

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