7 Topics Never to Bring Up with a Mom

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7 Topics Never to Bring Up with a Mom

Thursday, April 16, 2009

filed under: momstrosity

Have no kids and loving it? Shut up about it already.

Momlogic's Momstrosity: Have you made the decision to never have kids and have been wondering why your chit-chat with your BFWK (best friends with kids) isn't as fun-filled as it used to be? I'm here to help. Here are few talking points to steer clear of when talking to us "breeders."

1. Over population
Think the world's going to "Hell in a hand basket" and in the future, our kids will be living in a post-apocalyptic world using melting ice caps as lifeboats? Keep it to yourself. Want to save the world? Try to stop the next Octomom before she implants a zillion embryos in her uterus.

2. You just bought a new white couch.
It's wonderful that you're able to explore your minimalistic calling. But while you're working on your home's perfect feng shui --we're trying to figure out how to integrate a "Fisher-Price Grow With Me Kitchen" into our living room floor plans.

3. You're taking a last-minute trip to Paris
We're sooooooo excited that you and your husband embarking on a spur-of-the-moment vacation to the City of Love. And, really, we're thrilled you found a hotel near the Eiffel Tower, but our primary concern when picking a travel destination with kids are easily accessible bathrooms and plenty of disposable wipes.

4. Why your cat is like your "baby"
Your "fur baby" is Not. A. Real. Baby. Yeah, it may throw up on the carpet now and then, but that's where the similarities end.

5. Sleeping in
We get it. You can get up anytime you want. You're so lucky. We envy you. Now zip it. Let's face it -- we're on opposite schedules -- by the time you're about to head out for your bar hopping/gallery crawl, we've already been sleeping for five hours.

6. Your disposable Income
Wow. That is a really nice Kate Spade purse -- sadly, unless we could use that buttery leather to feed our family, it's worthless to us.

7. Your parenting advice
Why is it people with kids are just brimming over with tip and tricks on how to raise them?
We don't go over to your house and tell you, um ... how to sit back and read a book uninterrupted.

filed under: momstrosity

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JEALOUS MUCH???!!!

- Anonymous

Posted 04/16/09 05:45 PM

I remember when my best friend was childless and how she told me I needed to spank my 5 year old son and that I should have spanked him when he was smaller. Now she has a baby (5 months now) and I asked her if she was going to hit her son with a open hand or a belt. Her face was priceless.

- Ashley

Posted 04/16/09 06:06 PM

You know, this is really hostile…Not having children is not something I boast about…Generally speaking I feel very left out when talking to people with children…This article is so opposite to how it feels… Kindof like saying that people who didn’t get an ice cream cone should really just shut up… You really don’t get it do you…

- Sari

Posted 04/16/09 07:14 PM

I think the article is hilarious & right on! It’s not directed towards people who don’t have kids and want them. It says Child FREE people. Child Free people define themselves as being Child FREE in that they don’t want kids, either right now or never, and are “free” of them. ChildLESS people are another thing entirely and I would never poke fun at them like this and I’m sure the author wasn’t speaking to you. I have a friend who was Child Free and is now pregnant with her first, tell me I should have my 4 year old in counseling because he is 4 and should not “act that way at his age”. I am living for the day she calls to tell me about her 4 year old’s tantrums or whining or whatever it will be. I plan to ask her if she’s got him/her in to see a child psychologist yet. :-D

- mom of 3

Posted 04/16/09 07:25 PM

This is one of the stupidest articles I’ve ever wasted my time reading. Who cares if these “childless by choice” people can take a spur of the moment trip to Paris or buy a Kate Spade purse? They can have all that crap. I’m perfectly content getting big sticky hug from my baby boy. That’s worth more to me in this world than a bunch of junk like trips and white furniture.

- Happy Mom

Posted 04/16/09 07:28 PM

The bottom line is that the Superiority of Moms vs the Superiority of the Child Free is an un-winnable debate until both sides learn to simply MIND THEIR MANNERS. You can’t dictate what your Child-Free friends are allowed to talk about—if they believe the world is over-populated and they place a premium on nice things and travel, then that’s their prerogative. If that makes you jealous, too bad. (Also, dissing their pets as Less Than just isn’t cool.) By the same token, NO ONE, with children or not, should EVER tell another parent how to raise her children. EVER. Everyone knows that, or at least they should. In conclusion: people need to mind their own business, mind their damn manners, and shut up about the rest. How hard is it to be nice?

- Anonymous

Posted 04/16/09 07:58 PM

I don’t have kids and I have never been able to take off to Paris on a whim. Funny how not having children means that we have loads of money and tons of free time. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Why start all these silly debates? All my friends have kids and if I got to go to Paris I’d hope they’d be happy for me just like I’m happy when their little bundles of joy arrive.

- Jen

Posted 04/16/09 08:14 PM

This is why people like me who have no kids stopped communicating with friends once they do have kids. As Jen said, being childless does not mean you have a jillion dollars and a lot of free time. What I can’t figure is those of you with kids over the age of 10 griping about housework, cleaning THEIR rooms, getting them to do something besides talk on their cell & listen to their iPod. You have no time because you should have had your kids cleaning their own room AND doing housework by age 9. You have no money because you shouldn’t get iPods or cell phones for your under-18 kids; let them figure a way to buy their own. You have no time to talk because your kids think it’s perfectly OK to interupt mom on the phone. PS - my animals ARE my babies. I have 2 cats & 1 dog, all from shelters, all with various problems. They’ll never be able to feed or clean up after themselves, that’s a lifelong job for me. They have emotions, they feel fear & pain - so don’t tell me they aren’t my babies. Unlike most of your kids, mine are sweet and obedient.

- Kali

Posted 04/16/09 10:31 PM

nice one mom logic. It’s life,we have kids and in turn they’ll have kids. Kali get help…and stay of this site.

- Ilovetots

Posted 04/17/09 12:04 AM

Pets are not children. I suppose that at least you can’t screw up a dog with a superior and delusional attitude. If you have pets, you have animals suggesting that they are children is just offensive and silly. You did not make these animals. You do not teach them. Sit does not count. You don’t clothe them and rework your budget to get them something they just had to have just to see them smile. Don’t tell me how your animal is better behaved than my child. It should be! It is an animal. If someone else fed it,it would love that person too. Saying that your animal loves you like a child loves it’s mother is insane animals don’t have that capacity. My dog is a good dog and well loved. I love my dog. But not like I love my children. Kali you have NO idea what you are talking about. What someone should do with their children is clearly none of your business as you can’t handle anything besides an animal. By the way… Have you trolls noticed the name of this web site by any chance? MOM Logic!? It says real stories, real advice, real moms. Not pet lovers.

- Amber

Posted 04/17/09 12:52 AM

I find it amusing that people without children even visit this site…um, HELLO?!? It’s called MOMlogic…if you aren’t a mom, and only plan on being “mommy” to a frickin’ dog, what in the he!! are you doing on this site?!? It really is laughable that you have that much time on your hands…get.a.life!

- Anonymous

Posted 04/17/09 02:15 AM

No more laughable than the “busy moms” having this much time on their hands to be here.

- Stacey

Posted 04/17/09 03:00 AM

I am aware that this site is called Mom Logic. I have no kids, and no plans to have any in the next 10 years. I come to this site because I enjoy the articles and information, but the comments here suggest that as I have no children, I am completely unwelcome here. After seeing how quickly and completely venomously you are all so quick to react, I can say I’m done with this site. It’s disturbing how full of hatred and how unwelcoming you commenters are towards childless women, and I can only hope your children don’t learn such behaviour from you.

- Nic

Posted 04/17/09 08:10 AM

I don’t think this is hatred toward childless women, it just points out how thoughtless some comments that our childless friends make. I’m the first of my friends to have a child, and I remember two of my childless friends going on n’ on about their trip to Brazil. “We would’ve asked you,” they said, “but with the baby and all, we figured you couldn’t come anyway.” It was the truth, but still, that hurt. Really hurt. That baby’s almost 6 now, and I’m still friends with these ladies, but I still feel they were “rubbing my nose in it”, that they could go jet-setting while I could not. I love these gals dearly but as of now, they just don’t get it. And I think that’s what this post is getting at.

- MarMar

Posted 04/17/09 10:39 AM

#4 is the best, you don’t know how many times I hear “oh, my dog/cat is like my kid”. Puh-leazzz!

- Tracy

Posted 04/17/09 12:29 PM

I have children AND furry kids. My children grew up and moved out, but my furry kids are still with me…and now my kids have furry kids…whether they’ll have the other kind is still up in the air and it’s OK with me either way. You guys (with children) need to grow up — you’re parents now. Why get so bent over something your friend says? Enjoy your friends for who they are and (if they bug you) educate gently. It’s what we do AS PARENTS. Jeez! Get over yourselves! Both lifestyles are valid and valuable choices.

- Jodie

Posted 04/17/09 12:50 PM

oh people, lighten up a little wouldja? It’s just a funny little rant about things that sometimes bug us “busy moms”. As for whether I have time on my hands or not, I’m nursing my youngest as I type this and my older 2 are up to something I’ll probably have to clean up in a few minutes. The free time and tons of money thing is just a generalization. Maybe it’s not a trip to Paris, but maybe it is a spur of the moment weekend getaway a few hours out of town. I used to have a Kate Spade bag. It was beautiful soft brown leather. I sold it on ebay after my first son was born to help buy his cloth diapers. More than child free people, celebrities and idiots like octomom are working my last nerve.

- mom of 3

Posted 04/17/09 01:26 PM

I have to say that I would love to be the person this person describes. I would love to have a child, but don’t have a husband. I don’t know anybody that is single and is as the above describes. I don’t know anyone who is can just randomly go to Paris or anywhere else. And if someone gets a new Kate Spade bag, good for her. How about women with children not throwing it in someone’s face that they don’t have children? How about women with children not being so sanctimonious about everything under the sun. Women with children seem to think they know everything the sun about everything..sorry ladies, you don’t.

- GPC

Posted 04/17/09 10:50 PM

I’am a mother of three, and I solve this by simply choosing to only have friends who have kids.

- mercaties

Posted 04/18/09 08:50 PM

Mercaties: You know, not everyone who is single is a b**ch. I know that I sounded like one in my previous comment, but you have to understand, as much as I love my friends with kids, it frustrates me that they keep badgering me about not having one, especially when I want one so badly. I would say that you’re really missing out..I’m sure that single friends could enrich your life as much as your friends with kids. I could say that I only want friends without children, but I think I’d be missing out.

- GPC

Posted 04/18/09 09:59 PM