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8 Reasons I've Got Octomom Envy

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I have a husband, a job and one kid. It's a never-ending balancing act and no matter how hard I try, I can't keep it all together. But not Nadya Suleman -- Octomom's got it ALL figured out.

woman holding nadya suleman

Momlogic's Momstrosity: Here are my eight reasons I'm pea-green with Octomom envy:

1) Because she's freakin' famous, people!
She's got WAY more than the her 15 minutes of fame -- try 15 minutes for EACH of those underweight little babies (that's a whooping 120 minutes of fame)!! She's even had an offer to do a porno movie -- that's right, just like Sarah Palin (Palin was offered $2 million). That's pretty awesome company to be in. Palin was but a heartbeat away from being President. Of. The. United. States. Octomom for President in 2012!

2) She doesn't suffer from "mom guilt"
As a working mom, I'm constantly feel guilty about not getting to spend enough time with my daughter. Not so for Nadya. If she wants to get her nails done, hang out at a local radio station, go shopping, or -- and I'm just guessing here -- visit her plastic surgeon, she just does it.  Having 14 humans starving for her maternal affection doesn't rankle her. Nadya, you go, girl ... anywhere you want. 

3) She gets free sh*t
I feel lucky when I get a free sample of detergent in the Sunday newspaper. Suleman used to get free shwag -- more commonly know as welfare -- ALL THE TIME.  Then she got donations from Dr. Phil himself! She gets so much free stuff, she could say "Thanks but no thanks" to free nannies. Free freakin' nannies. Where's my piece of the pie??  If my kid had had the good sense to split in my womb eight times, I'd be living on easy street.

4) She's NEVER going to be lonely
Although Nadya doesn't have a boyfriend or many friends, she's never, ever going to be alone as long as the paparazzi keep following her every move. Any time she hankers for some adult conversation, all she has to do is grab a baby (or usually not) and step into her front yard. 

5) She gets to shop 'til her uterus drops
For most moms, a shopping spree at Target is a splurge. But Nadya doesn't let a little thing like "saving for a rainy day" get in the way of a little therapeutic shopping. She just plunks down a $1000 on MAC cosmetics and $1500 at Bebe for some awesome midriff/stretchmark baring shirts.

6) She's a marketing genius
She used her uterus as way to create her own cottage industry -- book deals, television shows, image licensing. She's like the J.K. Rowling of IVF. What a terrific role model for young girls who don't want to work for a living. 

7) She's got backup kids
Earlier this year when Nadya called 911 freaking out because one of her kids was missing, I totally understood her pain. And she hadn't even had her octuplets yet. Now if one of her kids go missing, it's no biggie  -- she's got plenty.

8) She's Angelina Jolie's doppelganger
Besides the fact Angelina works for living, has a hot man and is a multi-millionaire, Nadya is exactly the same as the "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" star. Those lips don't lie. Now all Nadya has to do is bide her time and wait for Brad to leave Angie in the dust. IMO Nadya Pitt has a nice ring to it.

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28 comments so far | Post a comment now
ashley April 2, 2009, 7:16 AM

I just don’t get how she is always out by herself!! I have 2 kids 1 is almost 7 and 1 is almost 2 and I have a husband and I almost NEVER leave the house without at least one of the kids, not even just to run to target!! When I do get to run out and have 5 whole minutes to myself it’s like the best 5 minutes ever!! Must be nice to go shopping and leave 14 kids at home!!!

Jen April 2, 2009, 7:24 AM


Emma April 2, 2009, 9:20 AM

this article was very funny lol

Anonymous April 2, 2009, 9:30 AM

So, I read a report today that Nadya brought preemie number 7 home. And, by her account, she is adjusting beautifully to having 7 of her new babies home with her 6 older children.

She is, in her twisted mind, living up to her self proclaimed position of loving, intelligent, self disciplined, self determined, giving, far too trusting, “mother” who would “stop her life for them ” (her children) and “be present with them. And hold them. And be with them.”

In the same report Nadya says:
“Each day that goes by it gets a little easier.”
“I’m really getting to know each of my nannies and we’re all really beginning to work together as a team.”

OMG! Her nannies? She’s “really getting to know each of her “nannies? Shouldn’t she, at least for the cameras, pretend to be getting to know her new babies?

Doesn’t that just say it all?

Gigohead  April 2, 2009, 9:42 AM

Ha I loved this article. Very funny and very true!! This woman made out like a bandit. She is so narcissistic. She doesn’t feed her kids unless the camera is on her capture her babble on and on about her life. Give us a break. I’ve stopped watching her since the Ann Curry interview. Her voices sets off convulsions in my head.

Anne April 2, 2009, 10:10 AM

It’s like that car wreck with someone’s head laying out in the middle of the intersection. You know you shouldn’t look and you’ll hate yourself later, but you can’t help it. When does her reality show start? I want to see those babies! I am blown away that she carried them that long, that they have grown as quickly as they have, that none are on monitors, etc. The woman is a freakin’ baby factory! Poor Grandma. The theme of Nadya’s series should be, “How to REALLY get even with your mom!”

MommyTwo April 2, 2009, 10:30 AM

I realize this will get a lot of attacks from many of the readers here b/c most ppl can’t resist the urge to speak out of discontent.

I live every day w/ at least one thing, I’m not perfect. As long as I am not perfect - what right do I have to criticize, judge or condemn? Yes this woman has resources I most certainly do not. I am a mom of 2 and even after I have put them to bed, there have been times when I would have to take them with me to the store even w/ hubby home. This is life w/ children. What we see of her is only what the media chooses to show us. We do not know what is going on inside. We have no clue what she is doing w/ her children when it is her, and her support team. Bottom line is we know nothing in the end, only the bread crumbs put out there to create this kind of frustration.

again, I’m imperfect so I could be wrong. This is just my opinion on the matter.

Gail Cooke April 2, 2009, 10:58 AM

I don’t understand how anyone could be jealous of that loser. First of all, she’s got such low moral character that I’d be ashamed to know her. Secondly, sure she gets free stuff, but it’s very common for people to cow tow to famous people…whether they deserve it or not. Just because she has lots of children doesn’t mean you’re not going to be lonely…you will just have a lot of kids putting a lot of pressure on you when you are lonely. Sure she shops, but where is she getting the money? Looks like Angelina maybe, but doesn’t have any of the class. She doesn’t suffer from “mom guilt,” because she doesn’t have the conscience that would enable her to have it. Marketing genius? She dropped 14 kids…it’s the press that’s continuing this pathetic spectacle. Disgusting.

ResponsibleMom April 2, 2009, 11:40 AM

What we see of her MommyTwo is she courts the media attention. She does this on her terms for the same reason she decided on six pregnancies that produced 14 kids, because she is selfish. My prediction is that all this will backfire on her and sadly will cause severe damage to those children. If the octo-train wreck would just wise up and start to act with someone elses interests in mind the American public might just be forgiving and embrace her. Families of other multiples have had a lot of help the difference here is they had friends and family willing to support them. Nadya has to have a pork chop tied around her neck to get a stray dog to hang around, ie, she has to pay an army of nannies with the money her children are earning for her. Yet she claims she is earning all these bucks. It’s only a matter of time before she is back on the public dole.

susie April 2, 2009, 1:02 PM

responsiblemom…so true…
The thing about nadya is that she’s not genuine.
Nadia,Denise,whatever she goes by today.
Nope,it’s all for the cameras.
This woman had 6 children she couldn’t care for,didn’t care for,dumpted into grandmas lap.
And she kept on going.
We’ve made it seem so easy to get a reality show,with it comes the bucks and fame. I have no earthly idea why ppl flock to TLC to watch episode after episode of the kate and 8,or the duggers. I tried that once,an hour of mind numbing,not even believable real life stuff,not.(I’ll never get that hour back )
Jealous? no,never.
I cringe at the thought of sharing my home with 14 kids,and how many nannies are we up to now? Might as well park myself at a bus station.
Grand central,and no way to turn it off.
Oh,but I could lock myself into my bedroom,letter opener in hand,and say,how lucky do ya feel today…
cha ching. We’re the morons here.

Peggy Gorman April 2, 2009, 2:19 PM

Love the articule,too true and funny.
She is on easy street and thats exactly what she was looking for.
The only ones hurt by all her actions are her children and hopefully they won’t grow up wanting a big family,wow, all 14 kids wanting a family of 14 or more!! LOL

Lisa Earle McLeod April 2, 2009, 3:03 PM

Hilarious, you gotta love a puffy lipped woman who can knock out eight babies at once, and still make time to go on Dr. Phil.

You know Brad Pitt has proven that he is not immune to being woo-ed by another women while he’s still married.

Go Nadya go, you’re just one affair away from riches beyond your wildest dreams.

nomorenadya April 2, 2009, 3:10 PM

@Peggy Gorman

“hopefully they won’t grow up wanting a big family,wow, all 14 kids wanting a family of 14 or more!! LOL”

That would be the best…
Imagine, 16+ years down the road, no more media exposure, no more donations, no more interest in her—just gramma Nadya with the 14 kids living with her(since they wanted to emulate good old mommy), and each kid with, say, 8-10 kids of their own…
Now THAT would be poetic justice…

Dr. Michelle Golland April 2, 2009, 5:18 PM


You are a riot!!! I loved this article. Thank you for the laughs.

jbender April 2, 2009, 6:07 PM

Nadya Suleman did a wrong thing by creating life in those embryonic babies outside of marraige, but she did the right thing by having those children. She’s kooky, that’s for sure…but I don’t understand why in this day and age she is given such negative attention. It would have been ok if she was married? That somehow makes the difference? In our society today women are told they don’t need a man…here’s a woman who is practicing what has been preached and everyone is all over her for it? And since when is a camera in your face a bad thing in America? Mary Kate and Ashley were infants on camera constanty, now they’re billionaires…The fertility industry has been practicing medicine unethically for years…this one just took successfully. She is one heck of a woman for being able to carry those babies so long and that they are so healthy. Why aren’t people this upset about each and every illegal alien who has an ‘anchor’ baby so they can collect from the system.

I just don’t get it, she’s being held up as an example of what? Is she a bad mother? Should doctors be penalized for implanting people with embryonic babies? What is it exactly that people don’t like about her except that she takes government assistance? People do it everyday.

wouldn't trade places April 2, 2009, 7:06 PM

jbender we are mad at each and every illegal anchor baby and anyone that has a child to help them get on welfare or to not do a days work. What happened to the work hard ethic we once had here in America? Nayda must remember all the freebies are worth income according to the IRS, she should have a surprise tax bill for 2009. I wouldn’t trade places with her in a million years. I have 3 wonderful beautiful grown daughters that I know very well and they know me very well, we spend a lot of time together and enjoy each others company. With 14 kids there is no way to give each of them the proper affection needed to be healthy adults. By the way…when did autistic children become eligible for social securtiy? Nayda really knows how to work the system. All 14 of the children look like her step father. The man her mother said would leave and divorce her mother if she did not do everything for Nayda. Wonder if the step father could possibly be the sperm donor otherwise why the secrecy.

Julie April 2, 2009, 11:03 PM

Gail Cooke,

I don’t think you realized that the post was completely a “tongue in cheek” post. I hardly doubt anyone on this planet is jealous of Suleman. There is absolutely NOTHING in her life to be jealous of. Like someone else said it is like a car wreck and you don’t want to look but can’t help yourself. Or maybe I misread your post, if I did I apologize :-).

And to momologic GREAT post and on a day I really needed a good laugh. THANKYOU!!!!!!!

Personally I think Suleman is quite the little con artist and I am amazed at how many people have actually donated money, items ,labor etc. to her and let’s not foget good ole Dr.(not) Phil and other media outlets that have been paying her. For some reason bad behavior pays in this country. Remember Paris Hilton and others like her were making tons of dough for basically acting like idiots. But that’s another story… I am sure that most people that donated money towards her honestly felt that it would go to her kids. Sadly that doesn’t appear to be the truth. Eventually all the money is going to stop and what will she do then??? She has said in the past that she was going to go back to school and get her degree,haven’t heard a word about that for a while plus I can’t see how that would even be possible, then she was going to support her children on her psychologist salary. If memory serves me right that career pays between 30-45 K a year, at least for beginners. No way could she support her 14 children on that. My husband and I make approx 70k a year and it’s tough as the cost of living where we live is obscene and he may be getting laid off in the next few months and I doubt that people will be wanting to donate money to us. And there is no way I will be popping out 8 babies. Maybe I should shoot for nine????LMAO

Julie April 2, 2009, 11:06 PM

I’m sorry I meant to thank Andrea for the GREAT post….I got a little too blonde on that. Again…THANKYOU Andrea for the great post and the laughs….

Anonymous April 3, 2009, 1:29 AM

I just want to say this woman choose to have all these babies and still tries to say how she is gonna go back to school so she can get a job her job is to stay home with those babies she just had to have so she can fulfill a void in her life she just wants to have all the nannies take care of the cildren so she doesnt have to

Lynns Daughter April 3, 2009, 12:42 PM

Of course she’s always alone. She has a “team of nannies”. Unfortunately, though, her time of fame will run out, and what happens to those kids then?

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