Jennifer Gingsberg: The other day I met my good friend Karen for lunch at one of those trendy, Los Angeles cafes where ridiculously thin and overly-Botoxed women pick at their salads with dressing on the side. The waitress came over to take our drink order and Karen flipped through the menu.
"I would like a nonfat latte. Wait ... what is that '40' next to it?" she asked the waitress.
I looked at the menu and sure as sh*t, the number 40 was right next to the words "nonfat" and "latte." What could that stand for? I know the economy sucks, but they certainly couldn't be charging $40 for a latte (even in Beverly Hills!) Perhaps it was the price in rubles!
"Calories," the waitress replied, as if she was speaking to a moronic child. "We have a calorie count next to all items on the menu."
I immediately perked up. What a brilliant idea! There is nothing more than this neurotic chick loves than counting calories. One of the most stressful parts about eating at restaurants is I am never quite sure how many calories I am consuming. This innovative menu has solved a lifelong riddle for me.
"I will have a bottle of sparkling water with lemon," I conceded, cursing myself for allowing those stupid numbers to control my decision.
Karen and I perused the menu to order our lunch. I was immediately drawn to the Grilled Chicken and Smoked Mozzarella with Pesto sandwich. But at 682 calories, I would have to pass! How about the Avocado and Nori Seaweed Wrap with Wasabi Aioli? That couldn't be too bad, right?
536 calories! Are you kidding me? For a piece of seaweed and avocado wrapped in a whole-grain sheet of cardboard? It must be that evil aioli ... maybe I could get it on the side. Or forgo it altogether so I won't be tempted ...
This was getting ridiculous. The waitress approached our table and I was beginning to panic. I needed to make a choice. I quickly flipped over to the "Salads" page.
"I will have the Organic Tofu Salad. With the dressing on the side." I breathed a sigh of relief.
|Jennifer Ginsberg is a Los Angeles writer and mother to three, surprisingly angst-free children. As a former actress/waitress, turned clinical social worker specializing in addiction, turned full-time mother/part-time psychotherapist/writer, Jennifer is particularly well-versed on the topic of angst.|
Find out more about her life at angstmom.com