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Cougars? REALLY?

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Leslie Adler: What do you call an older man dating a younger woman?

Old woman and a cougar

My guess is ..."Rich."

Yet an older woman dating a younger man is a "Cougar."

I say the female-hating creature that came up with that title should have taken another look at the animal kingdom for something more appropriate to address the perhaps a "Seeing Eye Dog."

But back to "Cougar."

Cougars are carnivores, man-eaters, predators..or as Wikipedia says, "capable stalk and ambush predators who pursue a wide variety of prey."

Hmmmmm....I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer but the use of Cougar in this context implies that a woman's motivation in dating a man junior to her in years can only be looking to swallow him alive. And I suppose older men with young chippees are taking care of them, acting as father figures...yeah right!

Read the papers, look at magazines. I wrote that 40 is the new 30...turns out more impressive writers than me are alleging that 40 is the new 20! Valerie Bertinelli on the cover of People at 48 in a bikini, Halle Berry at 42, Esquire's sexiest women alive...

We ain't our mother's why should we date men who are their father's 40?

Cougars? I think not.

Now a seeing eye dog....this title animal that guides a blind

person to safety, helps them avoid obstacles, teaches a man how to please a woman (okay maybe this one doesn't fit with the dog thing)... this is the role we older women can play for younger men.

Play on Vuv-ellas!

A great discussion is going on RIGHT NOW in our community on this subject. Get involved!

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8 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous April 8, 2009, 3:45 PM

What do you call an older man dating a younger woman?

A normal guy.

Kirstie April 8, 2009, 4:47 PM

Being that I’m a woman, I don’t think you could call me a woman hater.. and I still think cougars are gross. So are men dating drastically-younger women. What do you have in common with someone in a completely different stage of life then you? Why are you incapable of finding and connecting with someone your own age?

Gigohead  April 8, 2009, 5:27 PM

My childhood friend who will be 39 this year is dating a 27 year old. She is very immature (doesn’t mean she’s young looking mind you). She can’t hold down a job, a relationship and is financially immature. I think this young dude is her way mask the fact that a man her age would not go near her with a ten-foot pole. She’s a hot mess. A 40-year old guy won’t be able to cope with her dramas.

I think older men prey on young women to retain their youth..older women dating younger men. Same thing. Different uniform.

Bella April 9, 2009, 1:05 AM

I think we should stop worrying about how old everyone is and start looking at the quality of the relationship.

My ex-husband is 9 years older than me. My current boyfriend is 7 years younger. I didn’t seek either of them out based on their age. In fact I didn’t know the age of either at the time I met them.

I fell for both of them based on the content of their character…

People who seek ‘relationships’ based on age are not seeking relationships, but something else.

I guess you can call me whatever you want, cougar, seeing eye dog…doesn’t matter to me—I’m seeking a partner in this world, not a title.

Leeza April 9, 2009, 8:48 AM

It’s perfectly fine for an older man to date a younger woman, just as long as the relationship is built on mutual respect and sincere regard for one another.What matters most is that the younger woman (if she is really young) isn’t looking for a Father figure.For Father/child relationships are very unhealthy,he talks down-she looks up.The minds and the hearts need to be on level plains, in order to reap the rewards of a healthy and satisfying relationship.It’s like a dance,it takes 2 to tango! Physical age is irrelevant. What matters most is the emotional maturity and wisdom of the heart and the mind!

Mary Saggs April 28, 2009, 8:17 AM

Why do you feel compelled to label? Cougar? Seeing Eye Dog? Those are both quite offensive titles. Why do we have to categorize and label everything? Who really cares who does what to whom as long as it’s 1. legal and 2. doesn’t hurt anybody. Nevermind about growing old, just GROW UP!!!

Angie August 19, 2010, 3:16 PM

Okay, I don’t know why some 40 something year old woman would want to date some 20 something year old guy. I’m 20 and most of the guys my age are idiots. WHY WOULD YOU WANT THEM AT THIS AGE?

Vanessa September 12, 2010, 8:34 PM

I totally agree with you, Angie. :) Unfortunately, many older women out there still have no respect for themselves, are painfully insecure, and are only looking for instant gratification.

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