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Why Would You Stay with an Accused Killer?

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Dr. Michelle Golland: Stand by your man?? I think not!

Philip Markoff

I don't think even Tammy Wynette would stand by Philip Markoff, who has been arrested for murder and is suspected in multiple armed robberies. Many of us are in shock that his fiancée, Megan McAllister, was completely unaware of his activities -- especially if what is said in the media is true, that he had a gun, bullets, panties, and handcuffs in the small apartment they both shared.

We are also shocked by her statements of support for him, given what appears to be a lot of evidence pointing toward his guilt. First, if she did not have any clue or suspicions, she must truly be in emotional shock. This is the man she was going to be marrying very soon. She may need to stay in denial about his activities to protect herself, both emotionally and to not be an accessory to any of his crimes. In her most recent statement, she says her life and the life she wanted is now totally changed. Megan McAllister may have ignored any warning signs because she was focused on her future with Philip and the fantasy life she was dreaming about.

Women who stay with husbands or partners who have committed horrible crimes such as rape or murder tend to be passive, nonassertive, unquestioning, and very fearful of losing their men. Megan McAllister may also be depressed and have low self-esteem. She may not have questioned his activities because she didn't believe she would find another man to love her, and again, didn't want to lose her future fantasy. 

We also must consider that Philip Markoff may have been very good at leading a double life and was able to manipulate Megan to alleviate any suspicions or concerns about his behavior that she might have expressed.

It appears that financial pressures had taken hold of Philip Markoff, most likely due to a gambling addiction. It seems that robbery was the primary motive, which resulted in the tragic murder of the young woman. They both may have been feeling the financial pressures of being in medical school, acquiring student loans, and an upcoming wedding, such that when he appeared with money, she was simply relieved and didn't question him regarding its origin.

It will be interesting to see how Megan McAllister will navigate this over the course of the next few weeks and months.

next: Drug Your Child with Video Games
17 comments so far | Post a comment now
Yvonnes April 29, 2009, 11:03 AM

Yes, so far Meghan is coming across as very naive, and possessing very low self esteem. It’s definitely not the time for her to be pretentious.

Kristen April 29, 2009, 12:41 PM

I don’t think anyone gets to judge Meghan at this point. No one knows what their life was like together. Also has anyone here ever been to med school? I’m thinking the hours are grueling but it’s probably also a good alibi….hey sweetheart I’m going to study at the library, but really he was off doing other things……… there are many scenarios here and I don’t think it’s fair to tear this girl apart.

Peter Petersohn April 29, 2009, 12:58 PM

You are completely right. In fact not only was Philip robbing women, he was placing ads in gay websites requesting the submissive role in sado-masochistic relations with men. To get a glimpse of the stuff Mr Markoff was into google

“sexaddict53885” and go through the hits

The strangest thing is that Mr Markoff would not even have sex with the women he would hold up, yet he would steal their panties and stash them under his bed. Ummm, I smell a closet transvestite with a criminal bent.

Megahn should be very happy she learned what Philip was all about without having wasted her life. Hopefully she will meet a real nice guy and forget about Markoff.

Given Markoff desire for being submissive and his predilection for panties, prison will not be such a terrible place. Surely he will find a rough man in prison that will treat him like his possession, especially with his looks. Those panties he stole from those helpless women will surely come handy when he is behind bars.

LI_Mom April 29, 2009, 3:34 PM

Thankfully, Meghan’s family has rallied behind her to help her absorb this shocking & devastating betrayal by someone she loved.

I think her publicly saying she stands behind Philip at this early stage of the investigation makes good sense if she truly had no clue Philip was involved in these criminal & dysfunctional crimes.

She’s a beautiful woman & I’m sure with the support of family and friends & maybe some therapy she will be able to move on and put this nightmare behind her.

Meghan will be ok. Philip, not so much.

June April 29, 2009, 6:31 PM

If Philip Markoff did what he is accused of doing, then he is a psychopath and a highly intelligent one at that.

Psychopaths are extremely adept at fooling people. They are able to convince intelligent people that they are the real deal. They can even fool mental health professionals!

If he is a psychopath (and it doesn’t look good for him), of course he could pull off hiding his real self from Meghan and from everyone else. This is what they “do” and yes, they can be that good.

Meghan is very young and she is most likely having a very difficult time believing that the man she loved never really existed. That is a very bitter pill for anyone to swallow.

It is hard to see any other outcome other than this, not with everything the police have said they have on him.

marizza April 29, 2009, 6:41 PM

June wrote:

“If Philip Markoff did what he is accused of doing, then he is a psychopath and a highly intelligent one at that.”

Reponse: Highly intelligent? He didnt even know that contacting a would be victim through a home net work could be traced back to him? I have serious doubts about his intelligence.

june April 29, 2009, 7:20 PM

A person with a low IQ would be hard pressed to get admitted into medical school, Marizza.

There are plenty of examples of intellgent psychopaths, who succeed academically and or professionally, yet they are so self-absorbed they don’t think they can ever possibly get caught when they do their hideous things.

Marizza April 29, 2009, 7:29 PM

Getting admitted to medical school is just a function of very directed hard work. Not intelligence.


june April 29, 2009, 7:36 PM

Marizza, did you have a personal experience getting into medical school with directed hard work and no intelligence?

Marizza April 30, 2009, 6:07 AM

June wrote: “Marizza, did you have a personal experience getting into medical school with directed hard work and no intelligence?”

No, but have been in education at the college level for several decades and have a PhD in pure mathematics, and I see how most premed students operate. Dont get me wrong, many premeds are really smart. Markoff is not one of them. As I pointed out, the fellow was technologically illiterate despite wondering around for years with digital devices and trolling the internet posting pictures of himself looking for the submissive role in S&M transactions with men. Stealing people digital devices as he did from the victim he killed, and contacting victims using an email sent from his home network is a give away to the fact that he wasn’t very bright. Intelligent people apply their intelligence in a broad number of areas, not just to churn out good grades so that they can get into medical school.

Even his gambling addiction is an indication that the fellow was not very bright. As you may know, gambling houses use gaming algorithms that in the end amass wealth for the gambling house, not for the player. Yes, you can win one day but the more you play, the more the gambling house wins and you lose.

Statistically speaking, the method he employed to feed his gambling needs was designed to fail very soon. A bright person would have realized this immediately and avoided it. How long did he think he could go on robbing innocent women he contacted from his home network via Craigslist? Sorry, Phil is a moron and there is no way you can convince me otherwise.


Amy April 30, 2009, 12:54 PM

I am amazed at Megan’s strength and morality. I feel nothing but empathy for her. 10 days ago she was deeply in love and planning the life of her dreams. She is a true person of character to have most of America criticizing her for waiting to hear the facts. She is obviously a strong, confident, loyal person who is not going to read media accounts and cut the love of her life off. I cannot believe the people who are questioning her self esteem and intelligence. She has been thrust into the media spotlight, must grieve a man she loved and I am sure is weighing the pain of his family. Give the girl a break. Anyone would be lucky to have her as a friend. At 23 she seems impressively together.

renandrj April 30, 2009, 2:52 PM

I would agree with Marizza, there are a lot of highly intelligent Dr’s, scientists, mathematicians, etc that are very book smart but haveno street smarts and no common sense. This could be true about Markoff.

MoreLogicalThanYou April 30, 2009, 3:13 PM

I’m surprised by your opinion. It’s that of an unloyal and two-faced person. Why would she not stand by him? In her life there has been this person for 4 years who she has fallen in love with and agreed to marry. They lounged on the couch and watched TV, ordered take out, talked about kids names and having pets, and leaned on each other through the nightmare that is med school. Would you really drop the person you’ve fallen in love with like a bad habit without knowing for sure that they are guilty of the crime they are being accused of? That’s sad. I really feel for the “loved ones” in your life, that you would dismiss them so quickly without really knowing what happened first. It’s not being naive, not remotely, it’s being in love and loyal, two things that go hand in hand. Had she thought he was capable of murder, they wouldn’t have been together for 4 years and engaged. You need to keep in mind that she is on the inside, you are not. She knows the intimate details of his day to day life, aside from the things that he may have kept secret. You have no information other than what the press has sensationalized and published. Evidently it is you who are naive.

Woods June 19, 2009, 3:35 PM

Good Day. I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, “I wanna grow up and be a critic.”
I am from Finland and learning to speak English, tell me right I wrote the following sentence: “See consumer reviews, ratings, and advice on the imitrex.”

Thank you so much for your future answers :o. Woods.

Pylhxbid June 23, 2009, 6:17 AM

idSGfm comment1 ,

Blayne July 1, 2009, 4:59 PM

How are you. The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind, but how to get old ones out. Every mind is a building filled with archaic furniture. Clean out a corner of your mind and creativity will instantly fill it.
I am from Germany and know bad English, give please true I wrote the following sentence: “Effective flea and tick control available kills and repels fleas, ticks and mosquitoes for up to days.”

With best wishes ;-), Blayne.

Lecea September 6, 2009, 2:33 AM

Hi all. It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
I am from Burundi and learning to write in English, please tell me right I wrote the following sentence: “of goal, following as the bank tee for wearing nation and as a photo incident company.”

Thank you very much ;-). Lecea.

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