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My Friend Went Off Because I Won't Breastfeed

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Dear Friendship Court:

I am eight months pregnant with my first child. My best friend Connie, who already has two children, has been a great source of comfort and advice for me. She helped me pick my doctor, she helped decorate the baby's room and get me equipped for when the baby comes and I have appreciated all her help. Yesterday, when we were out for lunch with a mutual friend, the friend asked if I would be breastfeeding and I said "No, it's not for me?" Connie went crazy. She said I would be a terrible mother, that breastfeeding was best and that I obviously don't appreciate any of her help if I am not going to listen to her about breast feeding. I left the lunch and I don't think Connie will be calling me and I have no desire to call her. Is a difference of opinion over breastfeeding going to ruin our friendship?

-- Gina

friends arguing about breastfeeding

Leslie Adler: Gina, Connie deserves a big time out in friendship jail! The decision to breast feed is extremely personal. The help and advice she gave you should have been motivated by love and friendship not a feeling of entitlement to tell you how to raise your child. Plus, having had two children already, Connie should realize that this is no time to stress
you out. If you want to be the "better person" call Connie and let her know she needs to respect your choices the same way you have respected hers. Hopefully "Aunt Connie" will come to her senses and come around to greet the baby. Best of luck!!

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22 comments so far | Post a comment now
Ashley  April 14, 2009, 1:08 PM

Doesn’t matter how you feed your child in the first year as long as it is loved. Milk is Milk there are no preservatives in formula and formula frankly won’t harm your child have you people forgotten that your parents were formula fed and look how they turned out. You may have breast fed your children and done whats best but that doesnt make you a better mother and all this insulting of formula feeding mothers tells me you are terrible people horrible friends and bad neighbors willing to throw away your friendship just because your friend didn’t make tha same decision as you your child may be healthier, in reality rhey probably won’t be all babies end up the same at the first year as long as they are properly cared for, but that won’t substitute if your child inherits your terrible personality

Sarah October 10, 2010, 1:12 PM

Okay first of I was breastfed I am 31 years old. Breastfeeding is not New. My mother was breastfed too by my grandmother. But In North Amercia women act stupid about it. Its normal for babies not children. Babies 3 -6 months. People go over board 1 to 5 years. My mother nursed me until 6 months after that I went on formula around 4 months and I’m fine! I have friends that are sick all the time and they were breastfed until 1 year. Its not the 4th option! Its the 2nd Option. Donor milk can end up harming for baby! I think every woman should breastfed until around 3 to 6 months! More than 2 years is sick and disgusting and turns into incest! Use your brains ladies Not harming your children - I remember things from the age of 2. Breastfeeding can be dangerous too “the organizations” won’t tell you that! Especially for boys - female horomons, estrogens, when the older child is sucking and with teeths bits swollows blood, medications, mother eating food that can be bad. Whats good breastfeeding new borns because they can not eat! Then formula, and an organic diet! End of story! Grow up b-t-hs! Its not normal for over 1 year. It does matter what sciencist or doctors say they aren’t always right!

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