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Why I Can Never Leave My Husband

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Jennifer Ginsberg: It is remarkable that after over two decades of menstruation, I am still thrown for a loop by my monthly cycle. Every 28 days or so, this freaky thing happens to my body. First, I have the overwhelming urge to consume my body weight in salt, which I counterbalance with chocolate chips and peanut butter. My boobs get so sensitive that if they are accidentally brushed against, I gasp in pain. Everyone and everything is intolerable to me. In the hours before my period starts, I often find myself at the beach staring out at the waves and asking the Universe, "Is this all there is?" While nothing is concretely wrong, my hormonally distorted reality is confusing, dark, and bloated. Red Tent, here I come!

woman curled up in bed

Once I actually start to bleed, I often find myself completely unprepared for my period. How is it possible that after all these years I lack the ability to appropriately plan for this monthly event? I blame this phenomenon on pathological denial, which is induced by the emotional and physical trauma I endure each month. If I actually went out beforehand to purchase tampons, I would be acknowledging the ensuing horror. So I get three weeks of relative bliss because of my inability to face my feminine reality.

My husband, Adam, is a unique man. A classic Alpha Male with a sensitive side, he not only beautifully takes care of our family, but also understands my nuances and idiosyncrasies. So when I recently found myself late at night in my bathroom desperately in need of a feminine hygiene product, I woke him from a deep sleep. There was no doubt in my mind that he would rescue me from my self-inflicted drama.

He got up from bed, without uttering a complaint and drove to Rite Aid in the dead of night. When he called me from the store to confirm the brand and absorbency he said, "Jen, I forgot to put my shoes on. I am walking around the tampon section of Rite Aid barefoot."

Adam has been romantic, generous, and adoring from our first date. But it was at that moment, after seven years of marriage, when I fully grasped the depth and character of the man I married.

A man that will go out in the middle of the night barefoot to fetch me tampons is a keeper. I scored!

next: The Most Wasteful Mom in America?
48 comments so far | Post a comment now
sunshine44 April 22, 2009, 7:45 AM

Wow, I’m speechless. That is truly a great (dare I say, “perfect”?) man, and you’re right, you can’t leave him,…..but if you do, could you let me know? :)

Sherry(the real one..haha) April 22, 2009, 8:46 AM

There a few good men out there…I have one of my own and I love him to pieces! April 22, 2009, 9:34 AM

Does he have a twin brother?

paige April 22, 2009, 10:01 AM

Oh how hilarious! What an image… and yes, that is definitely a keeper. Gotta love a man who is man enough to peruse Rite Aid barefoot with tampsons. My guy would do that too, we are lucky.

mary SD April 22, 2009, 10:24 AM

I had a similar experience. We were in Vegas for a Travel Baseball tourny for my son and woke up at 5 am to good ol mother nature. Not knowing where to go my husband went on a mission with no complaints. I love him for all the awesome things he does. I agree guys like that are keepers.

Hollie April 22, 2009, 1:32 PM

Wow…I could have written this myself. This world would be a better place if we all had husbands like this. I’ll never let my husband go…he’s perfect!

AM  April 22, 2009, 1:48 PM

He’s a keeper for sure! I just wanted to say that your symptoms sound a lot like what I suffered through for many, many years. From the pill to ibuprofen to hormones and antidepressants I’ve tried it all and nothing helped until recently. I was diagnosed with Subclinical Hypothyroid Disease. My blood tests showed that I was at the high end of the normal range but experiencing some symptoms of thyroid disease and nearly debilitating pms. I’m now on a low dose of synthroid and all my symptoms (yes the cramps, mood swings, breast pain… all of it) have begun to subside to the point that my quality of life (and my family’s quality of life) has greatly improved. So don’t let yourself suffer, look into this and if you need to get a second opinion. It took me 6 doctors and several years and LOTS of money before I found my answer.

MK April 22, 2009, 2:13 PM

There aren’t many men like this left in the world today - so when you find one, you need to hang on as tight as you can and never let go! There’s no way you can ever leave him…just be good to him and take care of him…men like this usually need nurturing. And it sounds like there’s a waiting list already…but if you ever did leave him, let me know!

Jamie April 22, 2009, 8:17 PM

I was looking for a good man - looks like I have to add this to my list of what I’m looking for. Are there really guys who will do this for you? This guy isn’t available, but I want on the list too! I was with a guy who would rather die than buy me a tampon. He wanted me to buy condoms…that was fine - then I asked him to pick some something for me and he freaked…NEXT…

Momto2 May 5, 2009, 4:45 AM

Great read! Sounds just like my hubby. Cheers to the good life!

maria May 5, 2009, 8:21 PM

Yes, thats very sweet. But come on, you could have waited till the morning. Used paper towels or something. My husband would be livid if I woke him up from sleep (especially when he has job that he has to get up at early in the morning) just because I “forgot” to buy tampons during the whole month! I mean come on, like you said, you’ve had your period for over 20 years, im assuming its not a surprise you got it. So why bother your poor hubby in the middle of the night to get tampons? Sure its sweet, but you should go in the middle of the night to get tampons, not your husband. Use your head this month and buy two boxes of tampons!

Samantha May 22, 2009, 12:33 PM

My husband’s done the same thing, for me a couple of times. Not in the middle of the night, but I waited in the car. He also “spots” me to tell me if I’m stained or not.

Nicole May 23, 2009, 9:54 PM

Aww, that’s sweet! It’s rare to find a man-thing that doesn’t complain about buying feminine hygiene products in the first place, but one who will go out in the middle of the night barefoot? That’s sweet. Mine is a keeper as well, he puts up a lot with my womandom and holds a lot of respect for my female parts (and monthly tyranny).

Never prepared for a monthly event? Shop in bulk! Lol! I personally have the Diva cup. Love it, I save so much on not buying things to throw away each month and my inner tree hugger is happy that I’m not contributing to waste.

Satish Bhardwaj May 28, 2009, 4:18 PM

I’m impressed by the woman’s claims that her hubby goes to bring her tampon in the middle of the night. What is so great about it. Before sleeping I’d have sex with her and douche her vagina and insert a tampon. But the problem i s I’d be aroused again at 4 A.M. I’d need ti have sex and I’d have to take the tampons tio have sex. I don’t care if the vagina was bleeding.

heather b May 28, 2009, 6:20 PM

What a disturbing and random comment from Satish Bhardwaj….way to take things to a totally inappropriate level.

Anonymous May 29, 2009, 4:05 AM

What is it with you and your comments Satish?!! Seriously. That was totally unnecessary and inappropriate. I don’t know what you get out of making a comment like that but this is not the site for it so take it someplace else, Jacka**

Anonymous June 2, 2009, 10:25 PM

The smaller things are always the ones that count and in this case your husband seems very ideal. I hope you live a happy life.

Mind is power-

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