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Just Say No to Boys in Beauty Pageants

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Gay Uncle Brett Berk: One of my colleagues here at momlogic recently brought to my attention an intriguing little story: the tale of a mom who, lacking a daughter (as well as any sense of shame), took to enrolling her son in beauty pageants. Sashay son!

Now, I'm generally opposed to these kinds of kiddie cavalcades -- not because it isn't hilarious to watch young children stumble around on a stage in movement-restricting acetate ball gowns, butchering the lyrics to "I Believe I Can Fly." No, I hate pageants because I don't believe that young children should be forced to a) conform to stale and retrogressive notions of femininity -- at least not before they're like, 9 b) wear the aforementioned plasticky dresses, or c) perform, particularly if it involves memorizing complex dance routines, strutting around like a slut, or singing on key while smiling.

That said, enrolling a little boy in one of these extravaganzas would be pretty hilarious, if he were into playing with the whole girly thing (see my previous article). It wouldn't solve issues b) or c) but it would certainly go some way toward subverting letter a). RuPaul's Tiniest Drag Race, here we come!

Sadly, when I watched the clip of this kid, he was a butchy blonde brat, all decked out in the world's tiniest tuxedo, and being instructed by his stage mother in how to flirt with the female judges ("Point at the ladies and say, You're so pretty!") Boring! Not to mention the fact that in the same allegedly glorifying clip, the little hellion was shown responding to his mommy's instructions by having a knock-down, lying-on-the-floor, kicking-and-screaming tantrum. Three more strikes against pre-school processionals.

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7 comments so far | Post a comment now
Mike April 13, 2009, 7:06 PM

What a ridiculous rant.

Why is it ok to force all of this pageant BS on girls, but not boys? And why is it that if a boy has to be effeminate if he is made to be involved in this hogwash? What a sexist double-standard.

The video is proof about what people always say about pageant parents. And I think the author of this article might find himself in a minority. I can already hear the women cheering “Aww, how cute!” about little boys singing in tuxedos and saying “you pwetty” at pageants.

Nikki Moungo May 28, 2009, 5:03 PM

RIGHT ON, Mike! Perhaps the author is a bit jealous his mother never took the time to polish him up a bit….

Family Matters October 13, 2009, 10:24 PM

Did either of you READ the above “rant”? It clearly states “I’m generally opposed to these kinds of kiddie cavalcades” and explains why.

Come ON!

jkv October 13, 2009, 10:31 PM

maverick and bartholemew?

janice March 15, 2010, 1:05 PM

I think you over spoke yourself. 1st of all there is nothing wrong with little boys not big boys in pageants. I think you are a person who does not like children and probly doesn’t have any children. There is nothing wrong with a mother who is proud of her son and showing him off to the world. You just need to keep your big fat mouth shut and get over it.

Steve November 17, 2010, 10:45 AM

People are born gay. No matter what the parents do a kid will be straight or gay depending on what they are born with. OTOH, beauty pageants have been reported as extremely bad for little girls, it makes no sense to drag boys into it. No matter how good the parenting is, bullying and taunting leave marks for life. Kids can find other interests, a beauty pageant isn’t worth ruining a childhood over.

Unique December 1, 2010, 7:55 PM

I stongly agree with the author. Cleary you people who dont agree with her feel like its ok to parade your children(male or female!) around like a peice of meat in a perverts paradise. And for all of you who feel like i must not have any children WRONG! I have a 1 year old little boy who i would NEVER put into a pageant. Only when he is old enough to understand and make his own decisions would i allow it. Most of the parents that put there children in pagents are either in it to cash in on there kids or are living vicariously through them!


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