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Nixing Nanny Resentment

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A child care expert shares her tips.

Genevieve Thiers: You love your nanny. You truly do. Even better, your child loves her too. But the first time you come home only to hear your child cry for his caregiver, those feelings of resentment start to bubble up to the surface. Your first instinct? Fire her.

mom jealous of baby sitter playing with her kid

Momlogic Child Care Expert Genevieve Thiers is here to tell us that there is a better solution.


Some parents opt for the "rotating door" policy with caregivers, hiring and firing them every time the child gets too attached. Don't. It teaches your child not to let her guard down or trust people. Besides, children need stability and comfort to feel safe exploring the world and its boundaries, so don't fire a nanny for providing those things.

Remember, the fact that you have a trustworthy, sincere nanny means that your child is getting fantastic care. Be proud that you handpicked such a perfect fit for your family!


Instead of firing your nanny, a better way to improve the situation is to find ways to strengthen your bond with your child, rather than lessen his bond with his caregiver. Try these tips and tricks to get closer to your little one, even when you're not at home.

Create a special ritual that exists only between you and your child. This could be a secret handshake, a special hug, a silly bedtime phrase -- anything, as long as it's unique, and it's just for you two.

Ask the nanny to talk about you. Prepare a treat or snack, lay out your child's pajamas, buy a special dessert, or make some other small gesture, then have the nanny tell your child that "this is the snack Mommy made especially for you," or "these are the clothes Mommy picked," or "that is the special dessert Mommy bought for you since you're so good."

Leave love notes. Make "mailboxes" (which can be as simple as a basket from the craft store) and leave a message every so often for your child to read -- or for the nanny to read to him, if he's too young -- while you're gone. Your child can then leave you a message/picture of his own.

Start a mother's day out. Choose one day each month for just you and your child to do something special, whether you go on a bike ride together, cook his favorite meal together, or spend all day doing crafts and puzzles. This bonding not only begins a family tradition, it also creates some great memories that your child can recall the next time he hops on his bike, eats mac & cheese, or picks up a colored pencil.

Refocus the nanny's tasks. If you don't think you have time for a mother's day out, it might be because the dishes have piled up, the laundry is out of control, and the house is in shambles -- which is almost expected when you have kids. If that's the case, encourage the nanny to handle more of the menial housework, like running the dishwasher or tossing the towels in the dryer.

It's a tough stage, but just remember: NO ONE replaces Mom.

Find hundreds -- even thousands -- of local nannies you can trust on

next: Get Over It, They're Just Breasts
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