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Pregnant? Get Over Yourself!

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Teresa Strasser: Sometimes, even other pregnant women work my bloated, irrational nerves.

woman laughing at pregnant woman

Mainly, I love them. I practically stalked a colleague's pregnant wife and forced her to be my friend. I am collecting pregnant women right now because together we share what some might call "acquired situational narcissism," but what I prefer to think of as "it's all about us!"

So, I really hate to turn on my own kind, but some of them have made my list of people I want to punch.

It seems kind of petty, I know, but I just want to punch pregnant ladies who get all bent out of shape when people rub their stomachs.

Get over yourselves and your uptight body bubbles.

It's pretty fascinating to see your massive belly all puffed out with a baby inside just kicking it and kicking you. If you don't see why that mesmerizes people, you just don't understand the miracle of f&% childbirth. It's not unsanitary for someone's hand to graze your T-shirt; it's not a molestation or a violation. No one is out to get you and make you uncomfortable. Really, it's just a well-meaning and curious person experiencing the magnetic pull of your irresistible, giant bump, and I wish you would have a sense of humor about it instead of getting all sanctimonious and griping about "strangers just touching you without even asking."

My specialty is whining about high-quality problems, and this annoys even me, so endure the four seconds of bad touch on your stomach or I'm coming after your face.

next: The Green Pregnancy Diet
14 comments so far | Post a comment now
Elsie April 23, 2009, 6:34 AM

So I suppose it’s also okay for people to come up and touch a breastfeeding woman’s breasts as well, because the miracle of a mother feeding her child from the breast is so fascinating?

Touching someone without their permission is simply not acceptable. Sure, some mothers love the occasional tummy rub, but some hate it. People who touch without asking are rude. Expectant mothers who do not like to be touched can then POLITELY refuse the request, rather than having to be genuinely irritated by people who don’t respect personal space.

Gigohead  April 23, 2009, 9:29 AM

I must be missing something. No one has ever rubbed me when I was pregnant with my first two. Then again, I’m not sure if I remember. I’m not preggo again and I don’t think I would get upset if anyone touched me. I think most people are scared to do it. It must be different in other parts of the country. NY’er pretty much keep their hands to themselves.

kris April 23, 2009, 10:33 AM

I don’t mind if you ask before you touch my tummy, but to randomly touch me without a by your leave is asking for me to tell you to STOP or I’ll kick your shins. Yet surprisingly people still do come up and touch you without asking sometimes I know, I’ve had to vigorously fend them off with a smile and fast moving feet. I remember being 7 months pregnant and in the mall shopping when I noticed this lady kept eye balling me and my tummy(I didn’t get a really big tummy) and as I looked out the corner of my eye I saw her approaching me with this sweet smile on her face, so I stood up and put the bench between us that I was sitting in(she had that I want to touch your tummy look on her face)and proceeded to answer all her questions politely about how far along I was and then listen to her squeal your sooo tiny when I say how far along I am. I have health issues so gaining weight when pregnant is not alot of weight for me. But yes I understand people are curious but please look but don’t touch unless you ask first. I mean would you go around touching peoples head randomly because their hair style fasicinates you. I was taught to keep my hands to myself as a child and I still practice that rule even as an adult, even when I see the cutest pregnant lady in the world I would never presume to walk up to her and ask her or randomly touch her tummy (I have space issue and don’t like to touch or be touched by people unless their my husband or kids). It would be nice if other did the same.

Sue April 23, 2009, 11:58 AM

Who started the fad of wearing skin tight tops during your pregnancy?

Anonymous April 23, 2009, 3:00 PM

Um, yeah I almost punched a few people when they came up to touch me. I had S*** to do and I don’t like strangers touching me. What’s so sanctimonious about that? I didn’t like strangers touching me when I wasn’t pregnant, and that didn’t change when I got pregnant. And trust me, miss-knows-all-about-pregnancy-and-childbirth-on-the-first-try, all the people who are fascinated by your miracle of childbirth will be giving you the 5-point staredown when your kid starts to cry in a restaurant/on a bus/in line at the bank.

You might need all the extra attention, but some of us weren’t narcissistic and would have appreciated just being left alone.

Trina April 23, 2009, 3:12 PM

I agree with those who don’t like strangers touching them without asking. Just because a woman is pregnant, she’s suddenly public property? ugh. Not to mention some people just have issues with being touched by anyone. For me personally, the belly’s a bit too close to other body parts that are generally accepted to be private, and whether mine had a baby in it or not, I didn’t (and don’t) want somebody I don’t know touching it.

Joyce April 23, 2009, 11:06 PM

I never saw the BIG deal about having your belly touched when your pregnant. I looked at it as a curious or loving gesture. I am pregnant now and when i was pregnant with my son NO total stranger ever came up and touched my belly but if it did happen i would not have a freakin’ heart attack because of it ! Trust me there are gonna be far more important things to worry about once the baby arrives.

Rachel April 24, 2009, 12:20 AM

seriously, it’s not that big of a deal people. I agree with the writer, GET OVER YOURSELVES!

Nancy April 25, 2009, 1:12 PM

Would I rather be asked first? Of course. But is it really such a huge deal if someone wants to touch the belly? Not really. My personal space has been violated far worse on a crowded subway train.

Jen May 3, 2009, 8:00 PM

Touching someone’s body without permission if VERY rude, pregnant or not. Why would this be acceptable? If someone touches my belly, I will touch their belly right back! :)

Disagree June 29, 2009, 1:52 AM

Oh I do not agree at all. I don’t want anyone touching my body (not being pregnant) unless it’s my significant other. I’m a very private person. Extremely. Its rude and there’s a zone, if you cross it you burst the bubble. Please —DON’T TOUCH.

Jen March 12, 2010, 10:24 AM

Everyone has different boundaries and definitions of what they are comfortable with. You were ok with people coming up and rubbing your belly while pregnant? Great. This doesn’t make it so for everyone else. Even though a woman might be pregnant, it is still her body. And your argument has very odd applications, as the first commenter pointed out.

Melinda March 29, 2010, 11:41 AM

HANDS OF THE BELLY…. I dont like being touched especially by people who I dont know! Its rude, and unwelcome… To you who think that we (the pregnant people) need to get over our selves, maybe you should get pregnant and let everyone touch you!!!! How would you like it then ? Not so much eh?

garden city vacation rentals January 12, 2011, 4:04 PM

Hi John, Just wanted to let you know Im waiting with bated breath for your Fernwood review. I want to take some out-of-towners camping near Big Sur in August and cant wait to hear what you think!

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